Sunday, July 30, 2006

Last post ..Post 48 ..7.32 AM

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Whats the worst that could happen post no 47 7.17 AM

I used to mess up my examinations because of my nervousness.My mind used to go blank ..One of the ways which I used to use to reduce the stress is

When ever I am in a situation which is very important and which can make a nervous wreck I think of one thing - Whether I can handle the situation if everything goes wrong.If the failure doesn't cause he end of the world ..then it is something which you should not be worried about.Thinking of the big picture always gives us a better view of your life.

Those few words post no:46 6.47 AM

There are few words which get imprinted in our minds from various staes of life.The comments or compliments given by the teachers mostly stay the longest in our heads.We play it over and over in my head and it enters into our sub conscious.These statements play with our self esteem and self worth.Phobias which enter our mind ..enter when we are kids ..We are vulnerable and we accept it as the truth.A reasonable expectation of our own capabilities gives us a healthy outlook on our lives.As we challenge our fears slowly they lose the power they have on us...

Misconceptions post no: 45 6.13AM

There are so many instances in life when both sides of the arguments looks right.Both of the arguments lead to the truth..only perceptions are different.The view may be different from different points.Life seems to offer so much when we give up our narrow minded thinking.Life is far more bigger than a argument.It is better to solve a fight rather than develop an ulcer in our body out of the hatred.When you are angry it is like throwing a hot rod on your enemy.But when you throw the rod you burn your hands first.

Simplicity Post No 44 5.34 AM

Most of the problems of the world can be solved by using easy solutions rather than complicated answers.Trying to be simple reduces all the distractions and we can concentrate on things which give us meaning..
Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.
- Lao-Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Making the simple complicated is commonplace;
making the complicated simple,
awesomely simple, that's creativity.
- Charles Mingus

Be Yourself Post no:43 5.27 AM

Many times in our life we have to wear many masks all through our life.But when we go through different situations we have to change from one mask to another.But it is easier if the inner self synchronizes with the outer self.There will be no complications or confusions.We would follow a path and face its consquences..We wont change for each and everybody we meet but only change when its worth it..True inner change cant be brought about by somone else it comes from within you.

A Letter To A Dying Man Post No 42 4.41 AM

Bassui wrote the following letter to one of his disciples who was about to die:

"The essence of your mind is not born, so it will never die. It is not an existance, which is perishable. It is not an emptiness, which is a mere void. It has neither color nor form. It enjoys no pleasures and suffers no pains.

"I know you are very ill. Like a good Zen student, you are facing that sickness squarely. You may not know exactly who is suffering, but question yourself: What is the essence of this mind? Think only of this. You will need no more. Covet nothing. Your end which is endless is as a snowflake dissolving in the pure air."

This is a story taken from

Solitude 4.22 AM Post No:41

It takes only 15 minutes of time..
It helps to quieten your mind..To relieve the stresses and the obessive thought patterns which we create for ourselves.It helps you make small decisions of your life..These small acts are the ones which create our destiny..

Thankful For....Post No:40 3.38 AM

As a teenager I always used to hate failure..I used to have loads of ego which used to make me difficult to accept bad knocks of life..But looking back at my life I am most thankful for my failures.It taught me to be humble and to be nice to people.The pride and ego took a back seat .The first thing now I notice about people is the human ness and not the achivement list.What ever a person achieves is important but that is just a part of life not the whole

People who are afraid to fail can never experience the joys of success..
Pete Zafra

Foundations ..39 post 3.25 Am

Humans are interdependent species.We can most of the times..not survive without dependency on some idealogy or other.The few of the important foundations which people live their lives are:
1.Religious idealogy
2.Spouse dependency/children dependency
3.Freind dependency/Relative dependency
4.Core Principles

Few of the roles are organised for making our life better.They are based on human interactions which are fickle and based on the circumstances of the life.The dependency on principle is not always practical in the modern world.Religious idealogy provides us limitations which never gives a chance to open our mind and our hearts.This makes more sense for people who follow one faith and are not open to other faiths.
Each of the dependency attaches us in a way which may give us a lot of pain in the future.But to depend upon nothing and arrive at something more special and enlightening is a courageous path which is mostly followed by the enlightened being.

Gold cant be strong on its own .. even though copper is cheaper is added to gold ..Even though it is cheaper..

Singularity and god July 30 ..2.38 AM post 38

As the star force is drained out.The star's energy acts inward and a strong gravitaional field acts inwards and a strong force of gravity pushes everything inside.It forma a massive mass and then explodes .The first big bang takes palce.The edge of a black hole is a place where the time stands still.Everything which is lost is gone..The information,planets,stars,humans all disappear into the vastness of the black hole.When the hugeness of the black hole is considered and when time stands still where is the divinity??Why is it so difficult for us to know the edges of the universe..Why the secrecy and why the mystery ..??The universe is expanding along sides ..where is it going to lead us ..It is sometime scary and sometimes wonderful to know that a human mind can gather so much information and make sense and still not go totally mad...

Contradiction post 37 2.22 PM

In the land of the relative to search for the absolute
To search for a whole from a part
The belief which stems from the roots of our mind
To be represented as something form the heart
To be from one source and still discriminate
The images of creation at the outside
and the divine in the inner sanctum
The silence of mediataion and the
confusion of priestly hyms..
Air, water,fire and earth mix in various proportions
The various forms which exist spring out the very core
They react and destroy at the same moment
In the land of contradictions the pure mixes with the unpure
they spring out of the same light ....and enter into darkness

Saturday, July 29, 2006

Dance of Creation 2.00AM Post 36

The destruction and creation of life exists
At the beats of music the dance starts
The death of ignorance under the legs of the artist
The ever gleaming ganges flowing through the creator
The half moon shining towards the creator
The duality of white and black
The throat filled with poison
the day starting and ending on the other side of the face
The balance of matter anad antimatter
the action of creation and destruction
Balance is what which is obtained
when the force meets with the creator..
These definitions of vagueness
The influence of ignorance
The enlightment of the soul
All available in one being ..
Time being the crown of the omniscent one
All being flow into and out of it
Dance it is all ..which make sit come true
our universe ,me and you...

A painter's expression POst 35 1.23 AM

The inner expressions find a realease through what I do
The colours play a game on me everytime I come in contact
Hypnotized under control,wavering into consciousness and craziness
I am controlled by a trance which does not leave me
There is a explosion in my mind
The inner eye which reflects the longing and joy opens
Blues splashing like ocean waves comes out the deep sadness of existence
Red with anger and fire comes with the life force of earth
Greens with all its calmness gives me the patience to think
Black,white and grey sway between the duality of life and death
The goal is to satify the inner conscience
To just take it out of yourself
The curves meet with starightness of space
The real mixes with the imaginary
End result is never revealed to the conscious mind
Its a blind faith game painters love to play...

Captured 12.54 AM post 34

I try to look back at the place I grew up
The trees have cut down
the lands have gone barren
Floods have swept the entire place
Over cultivation have destroyed the life in soil
The desert now emits heat ...I search for a oasis
Unable to find that
I take shade under a lonely tree
This land is is a orphan on its own
I feel sad for the place I have grown up
Does grains of sand have some kind of existence
A pebble rolls down towards my feet..
The expanse which meets the eye
belongs not to the rocks or the few trees creeping up
It belongs to time..
the memories take possession of it ..they own ..we cannot grab it away

Invisible Lines post 33 12.23AM

As I walk through the narrow path way
Ice and fire mix togther in front of me
I try not to have eye contact with anyone
The hands of young children with weapons
Brings tears to my eyes
The extent how much hate can penetrate
The destruction of innocence
The cruelty of life flashes through
Who makes these lines of divisons
Why do the warriors think its their duty to protect
God's land
As a united planet these lines dont exist
Waves of humanity are swept away by violence on daily basis
Hate can never win ..Meek shall rule the world one day
A heaven can be transformed into hell with physical brutality
But the lines still shall never exist
A country is formed not by borders or by pathways but by people
The future shall be decided not by conquering
But by declaration of independence from the hands of violence

Land Of Oppurtunity post 32 11.57 Pm

I have come here as a traveller
May be the bits of paper may shatter my resolve
I may become a slave to the senses
So many things to consume in this land
So less time I have got
Where can I find the right oppurtunity
to exist on my own
My mind gets diverted with the various sites I see
Not a poor beggar in sight
No one is troubled here
I wonder how many people get lucky..
The place I come from has got everything divine
Saints and beggars roam through the roads
A religious experience on every lane
There is so much traffic on the narrow roads
The guardians of God the cows are given prefernce to walk on
holy streets
The divinity in confusion and over abundance of emotion exists
A cold shoulder to life is a rare occasion
As a tourist I find it amazing to be in land of oppurtunity
But when the call of the soil comes pulling through
the over secured ways
I may turn back to find the route back to my motherland

Divine Idol -8 Post No 31 11.15 PM

As she passes through the roads her soles start bleeding
She had to wait under the shade of huge trees
The only thing she possessed was the ivory idol
The travellers gave her food and the passer- by's threw coins
The songs of Mira bai capitivated everyone
Her devotion moved them to tears
A group of monks gave her a safforn cloth
She started singing and dancing to the trance of Krishna
The Vrindavan people were honored to have a saint among them
A temple was built for the saint Mira Bai ...

"With my tears,
I watered the creeper of love that I planted;
Now the creeper has grown spread all over,
and borne the fruit of bliss.
The churner of the milk churned with great love.
When I took out the butter,
no need to drink any buttermilk.
I came for the sake of love-devotion;
seeing the world, I wept. "


The Divine Idol-7 post no:30 10.52 PM

The queen has placed the young bride in the fickle hands
of the king
The king and the prince decide that she is not fit to be
the princess of such a great kingdom
She being a singer in the temple coutyard
A woman acting like a preist of Krishna
the dishonour to the god has been done
She has commmitted the sin which cant be unwritten
Her legs dont listen to her ..she dances and sways at sunrise
She stares at the idol of Krishna as if there is life in it
What sort of impure heart can make a girl from such a good house
behave like a courtesan..
The judgement has been passed..the servants were shocked
tears welled up in their eyes

Divine Idol 6 Post no :29 10.22PM

The coldness in her body disappears she starts sweating
The wailing in her voice stops ..she starts trembling
The doctor runs to treat her ..but she gets up on her own
Its like a scary dream ..the reality looks unreal
The sadness returns to her ..she wants to run and search her idol
But surrounded by people she fails to make an escape
She suddenly starts getting scared and the reality sinks in
The influence of poison has deluded her mind
That the idol is there only
No one can steal that away ...
Once again she goes into a trance like dream
The queen screams at the servants and tells them to take her away
With anger she goes to decide the destiny of the princess

Divine Idol -5 9.56PM Post No 28

The cry of Mira..

My mind wanders to the call of your flute
I can see my diseased body lying down
let me follow the eternal music to your feet
I will remain your slave for eternity
The purpose to my life is attained
I have seen you in me
Let us unite and set my body free
It is just flesh and would burn away
the light in myself will join with you
Why did you take so much time to come lord
Is it a illusory game your playing with me
I dont have any senses to divert me from you
I am coming towards you..
I am leaving my corpse behind ..the ashes will be scattered in ganga
Let me reach you ..
Let me reach you...

Divine Idol - 4 9.25 Pm ..Post 27

The palquin bearers start to take her
Her family give her farewell ..
The idol hiding in a huge casket
Goes unoticed by the king's servants
The idol makes a appearance in the temple in
the prince's palace
She wakes up at dawn to sing the glory of
She dreams about the flute god everyday
The nature starts to reveal its unique philosophies
As the princess consumes her daily meals
She faints down ..The court doctor comes by swiftly
The face becomes pale..the life starts draining out
She accepts what life has in store for her
The lines on her hand point to a different future
She unaware of her own senses starts wailing the name of
the flute god
The stunned audience start to gossip
Posion mixed with nectar for the princess
has taken her to the death's door
The prince does not feel happy at how things have
turned out
He does not know who stay's in the heart of Mira
The queen has a smug lined on her face...

The DIvine Idol -3 post 26 8.54PM

The marriage celebrations have started in the palace
The halls were decorated with flowers of yellow and red
The ground was spread with rose petals
the holy fire burning in the centre of the hall
The king and his ministers welcome the prince
he in his white stallion brought with him some precious stones
The little princess was adorned in jewels
her tiny faced covered with red laced cloth
The prince with his towering height
sent a shudder to her heart
She never felt the fear in her heart when she was
near the flute prince
She hid the ivory idol in a safe place
She felt that the King's sevants may try to seperate them
She walked around the hloy fire..
Music played all night long
But the princess heart was too sad
She could not bear the seperation of few hours from her lord..

Divine Idol -2 Post 25 8.20Pm

As she recovers from her disease
She sees the flute god everywhere
She does not have strength to go to
the holy place
She chants taking heavy breaths Krishna's name
Her father the mighty king of Rajput does not love
her trance
He says how do you love an weak god
The warriors of Rajput need the sacrifice of blood
She trembles at the thought of losing the white idol
Her eyes search for him everywhere
Her servants try to console her
the king has decided the wedding date
She forgets to tell her father,that she already married Krishna
Even though no one attended it ,she is his wife
The King's glance makes her scared
out of the pain of seperation she faints...

The Divine Idol- 1 post 24 7.58PM

The tiny feet enter the temple door
The chisled staute in white takes her breath away
she sits beside it everyday
She falls in love with him
He smiles at her from a distance and she runs
giving away all her childhood joys
She sings songs as the sunrises
She uses beads to chant his name
As the sunsets she merges with darkness for him to sleep
The count of time starts again
Her devotion to blue god spreads like fire
She gets envious of Radha's play
She thinks the lord and her are one the same
No one else who can tear them apart
Her dreams constantly remind her of her love
the flute music never stops!!!

Colours of joy Post 23..7.24 PM

The morning drowsiness was taken away by loud drums
People dancing with joy on the street
All girls surrounding the blue bodied god
his face covered in red ..
his hands covered with colours that adorn the rainbow
The flute which plays the eternal music of life
the vesels of water which gets filled with reincarnation
As her eyes meets the eye of the reddened face
There is a wide smile which lights up the face
The bonds of society get shattered under her dancing feet
The music divine played by the flute
The history of love gets written again
When Radha meets Shyam once again

Drops of happiness post 22 6.45 Pm

As I sit through the dull afternoon
The sun shines through the spaces
Heat penetrating the body
Mixing with the seasons of pain
I stare at the lonely roads
For the hearts desire
The birds rushing into the nests
The rhythm of water splashing on the ground
I rush outside towards the melody of people rushing inside
I put my hands up in the air with joy
I dance with my memories
With invisible couples dancing all around me
The water catches my legs and holds on tight
so I dont slip
I wait for the darkness to come
I want the stars to shine on me
I dance endlessly lookin towards the sky
Its so beautiful ..I dont know why!!!

Meeting 21 Post 6.12 Pm

As the time approaches close I hurry towards the waves
The holy river with its pure waves rushes towards me
The boat to the other side is waiting as usual..
I am not the first one who travels the other side
The water with its force tries to pull me inside
A tiny hand clasps me and hugs me and tells that
it will never let me go
The loud cries shatter the silence
I make him understand I will be back in 2 days
But he does not understand the ways of life
A part of me exists with him
In his heart and soul my blood runs ...
He squeezes beside me in the corner of the boat..
The boatman starts to sing the song to appease the river
The roars of the river gets loud
I start to chant the holy mantras
But the water puts fear in my son
I bow down to the ganga and ask her
to leave my treasure
It asks me what can I offer to appease the anger
I hold him tight for a second and let go
I tell him that I have a important meeting
I should give away my body to the eternal earth from
where it had come
I shall always stay with him
My blood is runs through his viens
My memories shall stay with him
Do not cry for departed ones
They are the ones which stay the longest with you...

Only if...20 Post 5.43PM

It was at one of the book store that I first saw the sunflower painting on the cove rof the book.I have always loved sketching and painting.But that was the first time I felt motivated to do to express my inner emotion.Vincent van gogh according to me was a true artist.The inner existential pain which tormented him gave rise to such beautiful pieces of art which were unique and provide inspiration to million of others.For him the most important thing was the art.It was not the fame,money or acceptance from the masses he craved.Only if the world was bit more nicer to emotional souls..Only if

Paint my love
wont you paint my love
its a picture of thousand sunrise
its a freedom of thousand doves
baby wont you paint my love
micheal learns to rock..

Education...19 post ..5.15pm

True value of education lies when the tools of learning are used to take out ignorance. In India ..most of the times education is seen as a business proposal which other than providing the individual money for a basic living also is seen as a status symbol for the parents.Like cloned individuals there are put through a basic schedule of learning by heart without any application to the practical world.The struggle is to find wisdom from such education .There are no clearly defined sources for enlightment.The popular media which attracts and dupes them into living in a unreal world is the movies.When there is a established connection between what is taught and how it can be used to form into a bigger force to make a change then the truw education takes place.
The idea is not to find faults but to find ways ways for development..WHen the student is ready obviously the teacher appears...

We dont need your education
we dont need your control
pink floyd

King Size Living...18 post 4.51PM

Indian society projects a elitist image which can only be attained by very few people.80% of India population still comprises of farmers who cant make ends meet.
Then why does the country trying to live the dream of very few people.Because instant gratification is what many people are back of.Happiness always means trying to give up the present pleasure for future contentment.Everyone even in the middle class want to have the latest gadjects,get into the best educational institutions,get the best job and then have all the luxuries which only few can dream of.Its like pouring salt on wounds to the poor as they see the extravagant display of wealth.But still they are hooked onto a life which is hollow.Shopping complexes are placed beside slums.The designer wear available will be eqaul to a months salary of a labourer.Beacuse the problem is not with the have and have nots ..its a deeper problem of finding a value driven society.As long as people consider themselves to be superior or inferior in terms of caste and wealth these divisions exist.One of the easiest ways to solve the problem is to start education at home.When the parents give importance to wisdom and knowledge ..a part of it rubs on the kids too..Practically it is possible to reduce the gap..not eliminate it..

Take me to the legend of tomorrow
on the glory night
On the winds of change

20 feet around a tree 17 post 4.16PM

As the cattle gets tied in the night and rests in the circumference of the backyard.I have resisted my mind to roam anywhere other than this tree.
All my life I was trained to be a saint.I concentrate on getting my senses to calm down.I dont have to travel far and wide.I dont have to have wealth for this journey.But why do I torture myself without contact.What's the use of solitude when the life is full of wonders .The pain of existence creeps through unknowingly.I meditate under the same tree for years and years ..a fear still resides and not vanished ..To control the senses there may be no other way rather than narrowing your ever expanding gaze..I do it everyday..I see a gambler come by ..My mind sways to the pleasure of play..I leave the tree I go away..I learn the art of gambling..I win everytime..I have all the materilaistic pleasures I ever need..I grow old..I life lacks the peace..I leave the place..My body has grown weak due to the inactive and pleasuarble lifestyle..I leave the worldly affairs I get back to the forest..I reach the same tree..It has grown huge..I reside under the tree the fear vanishes ..silence resides deep within me..

Come away with me in the night
Come away with me I will write you a song
I want to walk with you in a crowded day
come away with me on a mountain top
Norah jones

True Intentions 16 Post 3.46 PM

Do actions speak louder than your own thoughts.First it is a thought which generates in your mind, then comes action and then comes emotion.Most of the people think that absistence of any kind is just keeping your hand away from the thing.A fast is not truly a fast if your mind is concentrating on food.To kill the thought itself takes a committed heart is required.A bigger yes inside will automatically change you in a bigger way.There is no need of any control from outside when the inner part of you decides to be on a path.

Am I living a lie
Georgia why??
john mayor

Everything is what it should be ..15 post ..3.19PM

When I feel low and there is a unsinkable fact,I try to think that what ever happens is just..I have had so many instances when I used to think that the world was being good to my friends and being bad to me.But now I look back and think that it was the best thing which ever happened to me..I am far more humble now,I can understand people because I have myself failed many times...I just look at nature for inspiration..The sun rises and sets,the birds continue their flight towards skies,the trees dont stop swaying to the breath continues..the time doesnt stop for anyone anymore...

And a thought crosses my mind
If I am not awake in the morning
If you ever doubt how I feel In my heart
If tomorrow never comes
Will you ever know how much I loved you
Ronan Keating

Two sides of the same 14 2.40 PM

As I look throught the window there are so many beggars waiting at the traffic signal.There are at a look out for people who they can target for money.No food or clothing will be accepeted .Begging is a respectable profession which earns them 40-50 Rupees per day.People use different catch phrases to attract the people towards them.There are even training camps to teach children how to beg so that they can continue the family tradition.Then there are various other gangsters who take some percent of the money from the beggars.

I see a monk with brown/white robes mostly with a begging bowl in hand.He/she may be highly qualified but according to the tradition of the religion they perform this act to kill their ego.They dont have any material posessions..

Oh..think twice
its a another day for me in paradise
I have blisters on my feet
You know how long I have been here
I have been moved out from every where..
Phil Collins

Missing Pieces..Post 13 2.13 PM

I used to love puzzles as a kid.But when ever I used to lose few pieces of the puzzle I used to go mad.I wanted everything to fit in its place to make the final picture.I feel as people we all are also puzzles..We are born as a whole..We misplace few of our qualities and start searching for freinds,soul mate..and others to compensate the missing piece.But a piece of one set cant match with some other pieces of another puzzle.But most of the people dont understand it.They think if they try longer then someone else will come along and complete them in some way.But the image/picture we form exists deep within ourself.We have to visualize it.The missing part of us also will be present there.Money,status,education,better spouse cant fill the emptiness within you.You sort it out and make it your own destiny..

everytime we meet
the picture is complete
everytime we touch
the feeling is too much
You are the puzzle of my heart

Return To Innocence post 12....1.41 Pm

I had lived most of my childhood in my own fairy dream land which comprised of talking animals and a future which was ideal.I had faith in everything.I thought my parents could solve everything.Then when I entered the teenage years I saw that the world was not so nice.My parents had their own jusdgements which did not meet with my idealogy of life.The generation gap created a atomosphere of gloom.The confusion at that stage was so scary.The stability I wanted was not available in close range.But slowly I understand the purpose behind various stages of life.You can't rush evolution of your mind.Like the lotus we are pure of filth surrounding us..
Once when all the illusions of perfection are shattered then only do we have the real test before us.The ability not to become stone hearted to believe ,to have faith and to finally return to the innocence ..the true state you were born with..

Love,devotion,feelings emotion..
dont be afraid to be weak
dont be proud if your strong
its when return to your self
is the return to innocence..

Freedom 11 post 1.10PM

The sounds of the chirping of the birds used to drive me mad.I always tried to turn away my face when I was walking through their window which was close to the back yard.The sky with patches of white snow was calling them.I wanted to tress pass their property and talk to them.The property had everything ..there was overflowing greenery around..a spacious house comprised of all the luxuries,servants running to fulfill all the masters desires..The sounds of the birds were unbearable.One day I muster up all my courage and go closer towards the noise.I see a dozen birds kept in a huge metal cage.The birds have everything there,servants,water fountain...but they lack the most important thing FREEDOM..

I wont let you down
I wont give it up..
Allw e have to do now
is to take these lies and make them true
All we have to see that you dont belong to me
And I dont belong to you
freedom ..
oh my freedom
George micheal

Unlearning curves..10 post ...12.31

I have spent so many years trying to learn the ways of the world.Some times I realize that it was wrong and the best way is something which I discovered yesterday.We all have to fall a few times before we learn to walk.But the best ways to live your life are timeless.They dont change with passing highs or lows of your life.If they dont work out and break down then they are not worth it.For example doing good to help someone ..for genuine needs ..cant back long as you calcualte the result of how the help is going to be useful to the person..
To place a foundation of your life on these set of value system will give your life an unwavering support during those off days when you feel the whole world is against you..

If you lost and you can look
time after time
confusion is nothin new
darkness has turned to gray
secret is stolen from deep inside..
if you fall ..i will catch you
I will be waiting.
time after time
you say go slow ..i fall behind

cyndi lauper

Right time,Right place,Right thing 9 th post ...12.06PM

It is never important what you have won ..Only thing which is important is how you win it..Under all the pressures of living under constant struggle to succeed in this ever competitive world I always wonder whether I would falter a step.I would make a wrong turn to take a short cut.To go through life easily and not struggle.A wrong never becomes right.Justifications and excuses if kept aside will clear the situation.There are no shortcuts in life..There is the right way which leads to the destination ...just practice the courage to say no to the wrong way...
To live without regrets a life indeed..
If it is wrong to tell the truth what am I supposed to do
All I want to do is speak my mind
If it is wrong to do whats right
I am prepared to take the fight
Then I am guilty..

The question I never asked??? 8th post 11.32AM

This post is inspired from one of the articles I read in the AID site..(

It is my first day in my engineering college.I am excited for what life is going to offer.I see a old lady trying to sweep the whole corridor..I pass through as if she is invisible..Its second year ..I have to learn about the mechanics of electric machines..Its a tough course compared to all the other courses which I have taken..I see her trying to fill water the buckets for washing few of the tiles near the sink.
As I sit in the examination hall ..semester after semester ..I answer all the tough questions asked by the professors.I see the woman sweeping the floor..there is a second in between when I have eye contact...I graduate ...
I get my degree in electrical engineering..I never learnt the most important thing in 4 years...
I forgot the human-ness ..I thought machines have life..I learnt the names of various machines but I forgot to ask the name of the old woman who served in my college for four years..I took the benefits of her service..but forgot to acknowledge her importance...

Cause this life is too short live it just for you
But when you feel powerless what are you going to do
say what you want.....
nelly furtado

Does it exist??? 7th post 11.06 AM

I have seen tears,anger,joy,hate,love, the brown eyes..When ever I felt low you have always tried to save me.You have been my freind all through my life.When people tell me you dont have consciousness,a soul cracks my heart..I thought you were like me..That we would meet ...later that you are gone..I have faith,belief,but no one listens to me ..They dont appreciate you..Some throw stones at you.I saved you from the streets..But its a cruel world ..they dont understnd you ..they dont understand me..When humans are starving,why will they feed you..DOnt ask god to make you human in the next life..You have a soul..i know ..You have pain..SO what you dont have a voice ..You have love ..I wil convey your feelings to the world..
SO many animals have saved humans,they have cried when their humans companions have died..I dont know why scientists experiment on animals in labs.They have feelings..They ooze out blood if you hurt them ..They are like us..Tables may turn..Who knows if we become a minority after thousands of years..Some species will treat us exactly the way we treat the animals..(remember planet of the

It is the passion that flowing ..rides through your viens
It is the feeling oh so glad you came...
and its the moment you are alive
its the air you breathe
that elimantes fire
it is the flower you ...took the time you .. to smell
it is power that you know ..It will get you well
cmon forca...
nelly furtado

Time..time..tick tick ...6 th post..10.37AM

The concept of time seems funny sometimes.I control it but why do I find myself running back of it.I feel it is the master and I am the slave.I read somewhere that perfection comes when the clock exists within you.The control of every foolish..I believe in letting go..I believe in accidents(mostly fortunate),spontaneous bursts of creativity and imagination.My day dreaming sessions have taught me a lot.It may be idle time for many people.But I believe that our world is controlled not by time but by our own priorities.I dont mind wasting rest of my life taking care of my loved one.The satisfcation which that gives me is far more better than the other goals.So to effectively manage time we need clear goals and motives.But I have seen sometimes that time has stood still when we have some painful experience.The memories become stronger than the clock.We have no other alternative other than facing it.It becomes our major focus and clouds our mind.It takes many days,months and years before we start using time again to shape our life.Dont look at the watch to know that you are late..If your heart wanted that would have never missed it for the world..
But does your heart really want that???

Got to change the message on ......answering machine
now that I am alone
Its make no sense because you are not there
but thats the only way I can hear your voice anymore
I am so sick of love songs
I am tired of tears
tried of wishin ..u were here
I am fed up of thoughts and memories
i am so sick of love songs
so sad and slow
why can I not turn off the radio???

So tough...5 th post..10.11

I have always seen people become cruel after they had some bad experience.If someone cheats them or hurts them they try to project the hatred on someone else.This consquence is natural as humans we try to have fear and protect ourselves.But most of the time I have been the scape goat for the after math..Few of the people I have come across told me how they were broken apart by some girl..and me being a girl (even though I am being the best I can be :)..they are scared)I may hurt them..But I was always wonder whether when the same people ...if good things happen they go and share it with the whole world.Do they distribute love to all the people when they fall in love with someone..The world can be seen as a place of oppurtunity or disaster..When everything goes according to our wish ..we try to be nice..But may be trying to love people when they cheat and torture you.. reveals the inner self.I tried loving people even if they were mean..I failed..But now a days I try to love.. ..I dont attach any judgements or past grudges..Its so tough...May be thinking of the pain and human-ness which exists within your enemy's heart will push you closer to liking sorry..loving them...Its so tough..

I become so numb ..I cant feel you babe..
I am tried of being what you wanted to be
feeling so faithless under the surface
dont know what you are expecting of me..
But under the pressure of walking in your shoes
every step I take is a mistake to you..
All I want to do
is more like me
less like you..
linkin park

The real hero...4 post..9.38

Christopher reeves..the super man of bygone years ..His book on his struggle left a lasting impression on my mind.When I was browsing thorugh the books kept on the racks of the library..I looked at the guy sitting on a wheel chair,with a tube in his mouth..trying to breathe..but a kind of lasting peace in his eyes..It wa sthe best choice I ever made.May be if he had put a superman image with all the powers may be I would have just passed by..Our world tries to give all the attention to batman,spiderman,superman..and all the other comic hereos who go and save the world from the evil people ..A guy who had everything in life continuing to battle even when death was the easier option .Who instead of caring about himself went ahead and commmitted himself to raising awareness and money towards the disease .The guy who was invited to hand over the best actor award during the oscars..on a wheel chair..who bravely made it to the function ..To give courage to other sufferers

The lonely boy sitting on the chair fighting for his life against all odds..who can never walk,can never fly,can never defeat evil monsters but can kill fear with his laugh..can overcome obstacles with his determination ..give loads of hope even when he is gone..
make a blogathon writer write a blog dedicated to such people..
that lonely boy /soul is in my view a true hero

Whose eyes are my behind
I dont recongnize anything that i see
Whose skin is this design
I dont want this to be the way you see me
These walls I climb up to get to your story
I am anything but ordinary


Loneliness:3rd post 9.01AM

Loneliness is one of the main reasons for most of the stress related disorder.The cure for it is not presence of people.You may be sitting in one of the most crowded places and speaking to all..but a part of feels lonely.As a human we need validation,we need to be accepted..thats the primal need of a baby when it is born.It cries ..gets attention..gets what it wants..We all strive for getting noticed,being a part of something which defines us and gives us happiness.The only reason why people still feel left out and abandoned is because they dont know what they want.They dont know their own biases,the likes which can form lasting conversations which satisfy them.I have personally gone through a phase when I felt utterly alone ..during my engineering studies..The only solution that time was to focus on finding newer ways to expand my circle of freinds,thoughts and learn newer things.I tried to develop a open mind ..but my own personality of resisting change ..did stop me.Now I do feel that our inner nature takes time to change and trying to change our belief system to suit to others needs is not important.But we need to respect each others opinions.It reduces the gap between mind sets..

A open mind and open heart gets you a long way..

I am not a perfect person
There is many things I wish didnt do
but I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
So I have tos ay before I go
That i just want you to know
I found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
The reason is you..

Nothingness..2nd post ..8.37

Does everything in the world ..leading us to some where,some thing,greatness,hell..heaven..emergency wards..death ..higher consciousness..!!!!
I used to spend hours as a teenager staring at the night sky.I used to see all stars and think if I could just break the bubble I would know something.All the information you know would last only upto the second the universe was created.The mind would show you only how much you can bear.I wanted to solve the mystery.I wanted scientists,philosophers,religious leaders,thinkers and common man strive to find the mechanics of life..

But now a days when I look at the sky and see the darkness there is no fear that the greyness will eat me.It is a satisfaction that there is mystery..there is confusion and sometimes there is a feeling that nothing exists.That I dream everything I want to see.I can never break the bubble.I am creating it.I dont realize it.But its worth lose your sleep get confused and once in a while to get happy ..

At the end .. it doesn't even matter...
linkin park

Blogathon post 1::Life As A Miracle 8.19 AM july 29

We all life as if it is some kind of waiting game for some earth shattering thing which would come and give us a certain direction.Many people live their lives according to the circumsatnces.Life pulls them and streches them and gives them wrinkles.I am also one of them.I have lived many of my years waiting for things to happen.I never realised that I could change and may be.. be above the problem.One of my relatives used to have a strange philosophy that said everything she did was already completed.Nothing was in her hand .She is just a device in the creators hands.This philosophy is good only if you want your helplessness to ruin you.For pain is not a necesssity for realisation.We all exist and each second go ahead millions of odds.We dont realize that we escape so many near death experiences every minute of our existence.We have never seen the life force in us.We dont know when it is going to leave us.The only way to live life is to be thankful for everything.That to realise the speck we are and to imagine the hugeness of life in us.

Hiding from the rain and snow
trying to forget but I wont let go
looking at a crowded street ..listenin to my own heart beat
take me to your heart
take me to your soul
show me what love is
have not got a clue
Show me that wonders can be true
nothing last forver
we are only here
-Micheal learns to rock

Thursday, July 27, 2006

To Kill Love..

Stayed in darkness so that the shadow may not follow me
Stayed awake so that I never get dreams
Stopped listening to my heart beats
The slowness of breath could not stop my mind
Tried to fill my heart with joy but the pain does not disappear
Got a set of knives to drain it out..
The invisible force always eludes me...
The voice has stopped ..
but the silence is deafning
The confusion has ended ...but nothing is clear
I have tried to burn it out of me
The only thing which catches fire is hate
I have tried to reason with it
But it does not listen to me
It has taken a life of its own
I give up...I flow with my emotions
I drown in love
I ruin my ideals
I kill hate ..I let love win
I treasure it deep within my heart
Like a cancer it kills me sometimes
But I open my eyes still exists
How do i run away from something ..which is everywhere
I cant kill love..
I cant forget the memories ..I cant forget !

Happiness as a choice..

I have always wondered what makes a person truly happy???
Is it some kind of transmitters in the brain which generate few hormones which take away the gloom out of our life. Something which commonly available drugs usually do when they give you a high.But why is the addiction always so miserable? Why is that permanent happiness not a good thing. The mind is a software which is built into our bodies.We program it according to our needs.We teach it to survive in various enviornments.But most of the people run back of happiness because they are scared to do the additional work of teaching themselves new ways of survival.

Anthropological evidence has proved us that the only reason that other species of humans who used to exist along with us became extinct only because they did not change.The advent of ice age made our race travel far and search for better living conditions.We survived.The Neanderthal species was extinct.

I lived all my teenage years comparing myself to someone who was better than me.If I attain a goal there was someone who was always better than me .The absolute satisfaction of attaining a goal never happened.Now a days the fight is with myself.The struggle is to overcome my own delusions.I thank myself when I overcome any obstacle.I accept the failure and make it a part of me .I announce the failure to everyone..not that I need a crying partner..I turn the fear into a winning motivator.I give myself a chance ..I fail again and give myself a chance again..This cycle continuing with highs and lows happens in everyones life..Its what you make of it which is tremendously important..

There may be many people who stare at the moon and start to imagine the wonderful sights available there.There are few people who dreamed the same things and went there for a trip and showed the world the great sites available there...

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Unknowingly Lucky

The ability to symphatize and listen to someones woes is a rare virtue.Not that we dont find any lonely heart clubs or orphanages around.But the charity I feel begins within yourself.I have heard many people who claim that they would first succeed in life and earn lot of money and then build great organisations which would wipe out poverty from the face of earth.The dreams most of the time have hit dust.The human greed is endless.We never reach a "enough is enough" stage.There is always more demand and less supply of money.A odd smile at the stranger,a honest compliment,a freindly heart to heart chat may not cure AIDS.But it may reduce your blood pressure,make you happy and by some fortunate accident you may pass on the joy to someone else.Sometimes a good intention itself gives so much of hope to this gloomy world.Expanding your world takes very less time.When the suprises of good luck and joy from unknown people hits you,the world seems like a beautiful place with so many people to care and so much of life left to offer.I read a story in "nipun's blog"...
[link provided at the bottom of the blog..]

There was a guy who deeply fell in love with a girl.To him she was the most important thing on earth.Then one day she left him for no reason.He was shattered and broken hearted.The world to him was cruel.He spent his days in misery. Then one day his mother told him that the only way he can start loving life again is to do one act of kindness everyday.The boy started helping people in small ways.By being nice to the neighbors and showering his love on strangers.He slowly expanded his heart to love people he did not even know.The hatred was replaced by trust.He continued his ritual for along time.The ritual became a purpose and the purpose turned into a mission.He may not get one of those awards for social service nor get any monetary reward ..But I feel he is the most successful guy ..because he has a rich heart ..filled with...JOy..

Few quotes to chew upon

A native American grandfather was explaining his grandson about how he felt.He said ,
"I feel I have two wolves fighting in my heart. One wolf is vengeful violent one,the other wolf is compassionate one.’ The grandson asked him.'Which wolf will win the fight in your heart?'
The grandfather answered the one I feed
-by Blackhawk

Empty pockets never held back anyone. Only empty minds and empty hearts can do that.
By Norman Vincent Peale.

Sunday, July 23, 2006

Daily Ritual...

My aunt is suffering from cancer.These words hit me... right across my face and leaves an unerasable mark..
You start wondering about the futility of life.About all the things which are important to me and all the things in the world you want to achieve.Many times I have lived my life as an unending journey.When you truly realize the worth of life then you start enjoying the smaller moments.These small moments like the shadows,sunsets,cups of tea ...pockets of happiness are so precious..When we realize we have very less time we forget to run back of materialistic pleasures and utilize the time for bonding with our friends and family.One of the easier ways of getting more out of life is to start your day by looking at yourself in the mirror and telling yourself if this is the last day you are going to live what are all the things you would want to do ...

Stand Still

I have grown tired of running back of goals created by society.As time slips through my fingers..I am worn out..I have decided to wait ..I want destiny to find me ..Every thing occuring in the same patterns all through my life..I am in search of a purpose ..In search of a dream..I am waiting ..The moment of truth has not arrived..I close my eyes ..take a deep breath..Is this all which life can offer?
Is this all that I can create??..I am waiting ...I am ready to take the plunge..I have no fear ..I dont know the purpose of life..I am ready for a teacher ..I am ready ..It doesnt appear..I am waiting..

Most of the times we go running and chasing ,controlling our life in numerable ways.I feel sometimes you just let it go..You dont have great expectations..No great demands ..Just Live In The Moment..Try to utilize the moment feel it ..Experience the emotion ,get lost in it..Go to the next moment and live it as if it is your first moment..

Work like you dont need the money
Love like you never been hurt
Dance like nobody is watching
Mark Twain

Thursday, July 20, 2006

Blogathon For Charity

This is the first time I am going to blog 24 hours for charity..Its a blogging marathon..I am doing this for collecting funds for the charity "Freedom From Hunger".
Any amount can be pledged for the cause.I have to write a post for every 30 minutes for 24 hours continously without any breaks from post writing.The lucky day is going to be 29 july 2006, 6 AM pacific time.The money directly goes to the charity foundation.The blogger(me)or the blogathon does not get any profit.Anyone interested can sponsor me here..

any sponsors????

Friday, July 14, 2006

The only thing I can take..

Pots of gold I have kept hidden under the tree in my backyard
The grey hairs and lines on my face tell the story of success
I see everyone bowing down to me
They fall on my feet because of my greatness
I walk down to the nearest holy palce
Everyone moves to a side..
The priest chants the auspicious chants which
is supposed to improve my vitality..
I snatch a bag of cash and hand over
The priest prays harder to god
I need to get back to the heaven ,my palace
As the night dawns I enjoy the dances of courtesans
I drown in the music of the court singers
The wine drains my mouth
As stars gaze at me...Silence comes slowly
Everyone leaves..
I sleep alone on the royal bed..
there is a shooting pain in my chest ..
I yell and shout ...I try to reach the backyard
I try to snatch the costly curtains ..
they slip and all the pearls drop on the ground
I run .. I try to snatch sand
They stick to me ..but I feel like letting go
I catch it with all my might ..but they leave me
All the servants stand gazing one helps ..
I dont understand...
I yell ..but no voice comes..
I shiver ..but my body is numb..nothing moves
What do I take with me..
What do I do with all these things
Who will take them now..
The only thing I have left to take is ...

Holy moments

Is there a answer to all my questions
Is there love where there is hate
A duality if exists in nature
A paradox of illusion and reality exists
Where do the poet go for divine inspiration
I run through the most painful of memories
I escape all the happy thoughts
My steps if can be retarced
shows the foolishess of past
The intelligence of future
lies not in the narrowness of the mind space..
As I run through the slums of the city
I try to find satisfaction in the face of the hungry
I try to find the invisible glow of radiance
on the souls of the diseased
I walk through dirt,I soil my clothes
I snatch a breath of fresh air..
I hear cries of pain from an old lady
I see a lady stuffing me ..chocking me to death
with her hand full of sweets
I hear the cry of new born
I put my hands up in air ..
Where there is life ,death forms a shadow
We assume that life is endless
we can strech ourselves out of the fabric of misery
A part can never become a whole
I may be far away
I may try to escape ..
But as the sun shines the night dawns
The shadow follows me!!!


As I look at the watch for the fourth time in past two minutes..I realize that if I dont hurry I would be late ..All my friends are waiting in the other room.I am tired..I have tried to work out the solutions whole 3 days but never reached a answer..But today I dont know what made me go through some wierd ideas and through the help of some useful know how from various resources I reached the correct solution.
I had to submit it at 4 o clock.Its 3 now..If I rush I can give it to my friends few of them wil learn the technique and few will blindly copy .But if I go late and submit I will be the sole owner of the solution.The only one who is intelligent enough,lucky enough to solve ...

3.10pm -You can become the profs pet.

3.11pm-All your friends will suffer..may be knowledge is meant to be shared..

3.12 pm -I am confused..

3.13 pm -U have to win..

3.14pm -In the world there is cut throat competetion..U can't let others win..

3.15pm -I have a inner conscience which always guides me..

3.16pm-Why do I have two train of thoughts which go in opposite direction...

3.17pm-Preethi..u can win..success is all u want ..

3.18pm -Knowledge is power..U are the most powerful in class..

3.19 pm-Why do Americans frame quotations?Show offs..

3.20 pm-Let me kill some time..Let me read this frame..

Pledge of a engineer:

I take this oath with a pure heart that I would serve my knowledge and practicality for the betterment of human kind.I would share the enlightment with fellow beings and with unity strive for excellence

3.21 pm-Sometimes u ask questions and u have answers right in front of you...

What u require is a glance ..a cautious glance ...

3.25 pm are my answers!!!!

Monday, July 10, 2006

My best "sweep story"...

As I stand in the sanctuary of religion.I start to wonder .
What is the reason I am here.How can I fake beleif when I dont have ? How do I say my god is greater than other gods?When I feel we all have same divine powers...

I tell myself that I should have an open mind..I chant the only two sanskrit slokas I remember (which I have been using for such occasions for past 12 years)There were other idols of buddha and jain cults.I bow down and chant the only few words I know

buddham sharanam gachchami
danam sharanam gachchami...

Past few days I have had lot of inner turmoil ,thinking about the use of our jouney of life.As I stand before the idol of buddha my eyes are filled with tears as I don't understand this complicated belief system.
There is a sharp glance towards me..

I want you to sweep the corridors,all the podiums of all the five gods here,clean the shrine too,and go down and I want you to clean the space near the kitchen and also the rest rooms.First sweep and then mop well and place all the items at the exact position you got them.My other 3 friends were also assigned work equivalent to mine.(Temple volunteer)

Don't stand here and waste time..Get to work.. Preethi!!!(Temple volunteer)
ya I am starting...(me)
I start by sweeping the area near the shrines .After completing that I start by clenaing all the area near the gods ..Ganesh,Shiva,Ram,Krishna,Buddha,Durga......
I start with buddha and complete other shrines and as I proceed to clean near the other shrine of Vishnu the priest yells at me....
You are girl!!!you are not pure ...Dont go near the God!!!(priest)

You have completed sweeping ..Ok now start by mopping the area near the shrines and the corridors.I start mopping ..(temple volunteer)

No it later there is a puja starting!!!(Temple Volunteer)

I sit down and paper is handed to me which has all the sanskrit slokas of Vishnu.
The priest starts chanting in a loud voice.I understand few words of sanskrit.But I am not able to understand the whole philosophy.It looks like greek and latin.I have read vedas in english and it made sense.Even hindi or any regional langauage would have made sense.But sanskrit goes over my head.I decide not to fake ...I close my eyes listen to the ever rising chants and try to meditate..
30 minutes passes by..
I start my mopping the corridors and stairs.Then I proceed to mop near the kitchen area and then proceed to the rest rooms.I now realize the happiness that Gandhi used to derive when he used to do such work.All the items are placed in the exact locations.The prasad consisted of some sweet and my favourite choclates which I had with delight.

By the time I slept in the night,I had a splitting headache ,severe body pains and peace in my heart and mind..
There is no service like selfless service.

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Weaver's plea

Kabir is one of the greatest poets in India.His excellence lies in the fact that he without any education or any external influence with his own devices has created such beautiful and profound verses that no one else has been able to reproduce.
The poem which I have written is a tribute to Kabir and it is written in the doha style of Kabir

I work at the interiors of the forest
I sing the song of Ram
Kabir a Musalman ,but sings the songs of Ram
I dont have education ,nor do I have family
I dont have status,nor a bit of gold
I am a weaver by birth,my songs are the most precious items for me
I dont know anything ,nor do I pretend to know
I know only Ram,Ram,Ram...
I have spent years trying to join threads
I have spent decades to make ends meet
I dont have any desire..
My heart and mind echo of Ram,Ram,Ram
For all the creator is one I want to say
The Muslaman in me has also Ram in me
It must be one and the same
Thats what I try to say when I say Ram,Ram,Ram...
I ,Kabir will tell you again
That my name will rise again
Many battles won and many kings may rise
My name shall echo ..
It may be five hundred years from now
when you hear this song
But remember its only about
Ram Ram Ram...

Kehat kabir yeh phir se abhi
mera naam to amar hain Ram ki krupa se
kitne shenshahoo ne apne mehel kada kar
kitne baazi jit kar amar kiya apna naam
par kabir ka naam hi goongeja ka
paanch ya hazaar saal ho!!!

Thursday, July 06, 2006


How do I trust the air which rips apart the nest of birds
How do I trust the sea which kills its fisherman which it supports
How do I learn to love when the only thing I have loved the most tried to kill me...
These loud beats reside in my heart expecting that time would heal the scars
They want to scream in anger at the injustice that life gave
To believe in idle words
To see love through ignorant eyes
The sunset which signifies the age of darkness has come again
The loneliness of the soul has caught up with you again
The world with its amazing grace has left you confused
The assasination of the character and the birth of the personality
has become a part of every mind
The conditioning to satisfy our every want
The quick fix solution has never been found
The only thing you need is to
breathe breathe breathe!!!!!!!!!

When reality bites

As gump was walking he slipped his leg into the puddle of mud.That time there was guy waiting for some ad slogan which can make his faded stars glow.Gump replied
"S*** happens"..the ever smiling :) logo was invented.I switch off the idiot box.

A random thought occurs to me about all the times when some depressing occurences have come along my way..

caution:Tips from blog should be taken only after consultation of your mind.For the brainless wonders(me included)lets use the heart section of the body.

Tips for recovery(personal satisfaction may or may not be guaranteed)

1. I have always seen that most of the times I feel low not when some god forsaken diaster occurs...but some stupid incident which connect all the diasters into one mega misfortune.When you are in a foul mood...leave the past luggage of emotions..
do not connect the dots...
2.Do not cry out your problem to everyone.The false reassurances given by your friends are not useful because if it could be solved easily then there will be no problem in the first place.
3.Write down all the frustations and anger generated in simple terms..tear up the paper or press delete button.If it is against a particular homosapien species use email..but can be saved as draft ..not advisory if the anger is against boss..may press by mistake the send button and then another problem starts..
4.sleep ..dreams cant torture you so much because the sub conscious is also confused..
5.have a 90% of time..doesnt work only for people who hate water..
6.Do not drink alcohol,tea, exerts more strain..smoking too would achieve the same result..Fruit juice works like a charm here.
7.Do not answer the phone.You may end up spoiling everyones mood.
8.Read something inspirational.
10.Go for a walk..
11.Listen to some good music.
12.Use the idiot box helps you escape reality in minutes..
13.its just a moment will pass!!!you dont hav to flood the entire room...

Sunday, July 02, 2006


When a rock hits the surface the ripples vanish
When an angry remark brings a smile on the face
The courage to be pleasant at the most crucial time
The stillness of the mind I seek..
I cant reside in the interiors of forest's
I can only be a tourist to wilderness
The society has caught me in a web
The awareness of who I am ...I seek..
The time swaying me like a pendulum from misery to joy
The speed with which it passes by
The slowness when life gets difficult
It's the one- mindness that I seek..
The teacher appears but I am unable to learn
The journey of change which I am unable to travel
The knowledge of who I am ..not within my grasp
Its the enlightenment that I seek..
I want this and I want that
I want a master to kill my desires
Why can't I pay someone to numb my senses
SO that what I pleasure the most I may never seek...

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Wooden cross and the round beads

I have a splitting headache,I hardly slept for 4 hours the before day.I had just completed writing one of my semester's final exams.As usual I get cranky during high stress time.The flight I was going to fly was cancelled.I was supposed to take another flight and my whole journey was messed up.During this whole confusion I saw this guy standing quietly with a wooden cross and quietly chanting with his holy beads.Suddenly out of no where a conversation was struck ..It lasted for an hour..

me means "me"

mj means "mind's judegement" converstion between me and my mind.

mr means "the man with wooden cross and round beads".

mj:Here is one more god's answer to religion.A fanatic..A big cross and Are those hindu beads???Why is this guy using beads?May be he is on a mission to convert hindus into christians??I have a allergy towards anyone who wants to change me that they can stop me from going to hell?What's the time??

mr: hi..patience,patience..Might well enjoy rather than compalin about the bad circumstances.The guy who was standing back of me in the line for tickets compalins so much and irritated the officials.You can't change things always.


mr:me going to Dallas then Oklahomaa.

mj:Run when you have the chance.He has a very peaceful face.

me:I am headed towards Dallas too.

mr.Basically I have to go to this far off place and then go to Mexico.I work at this company $$$$$$$$ ...My job is I have to travel and inspect all these places.Where do you study/work?

me:I am a master's student in electrical engineering .

mr:Even I work in the electronics and electrical field.I set up huge labs for research.

mr:What are your plans after master's?

me:Get into control systems and do research.

mr:Why do you want to do research?Do you think some theory is going to help the third world countries?Why dont you consider going to places like Mexico and India and do some rural projects?Keep some wind mills!!!

mj:Why does he consider me an outcast?I have lived in India for 21 years I know what India is going thorugh?What does he know??

me:(feeling superior)I feel solar powered plants will make a more positive effect than wind mills.India has sunshine all the time.

mr:I know one of my friends, an electrical engineer,saw how the mexicans suffer without electricity and built few wind mills.Now he supplies electricity at a very low cost and good quality for four towns.You should consider doing such things.Solar panels cost a lot.Wind mills are cheaper.

me:Indian government basically owns the electricity industry.There can be no private enterprise.Politics in India makes things worse.Farmers commit suicide due to high debts incurred due to poor living standards.

mj:I think I should tell him that theory/research helps mankind.

mr:My dad worked in the merchant navy.I have been to India and all the third world countries.I have seen bags of rice stored on docks of Bombay and I asked my dad why don't they distribute it to the poor.It rots for weeks.The insects have the luck to satisfy the hunger and not the poor people.

me:I know there is great misery in my country.But there is always the back lash of caste system .Reservation....All the brain drain is caused due to that.But we have a very secular India..we have a muslim president(who is a scientist),a sikh prime minister even though the major religion in India is Hinduism.

mr:These things dont work.A person with honors does not know how to run a country.Even Portugal is having the same problem.You used to have a politician who was a economist isn't it?The economy of India stooped lower.Idealism never works...The problem between have and have nots will always last for ever.If you take the worlds wealth and distribute it equally still by the end of the day there will be people who wil have more or less wealth.Because there is one thing which is not distributed equally and that is intelligence.Knowing the value of what we have.I go regularly to Mexico and once I went to this village.There was flith all around .There were these huge lava stones thrown at ever nook and corner.I told one of the villagers to get a saw.I cut the stone into a square and told the villagers to use the stone lying around to make houses.It will keep them cool and it is cost effective.It can also save them from earth quakes.But there was no change.I wanted to sweep up the streets,but the vilagers dont want to work unless they get paid for cleaning up.No one wants anything in charity and no one wants to work and not be paid.The moral and social conscience doesn't exist.

me:I agree totally.There are huge shopping complexes in India, which have sprung up where there used to be slums.These people now have to move to more dirtier places.
Their livelihood is being kicked.

mj:Our mind runs into the judgement mode the moment we lay eyes on anything.We start the difficult part of guessing about the person even without knowing them.Having a clean slate and looking at the world through acceptance is the easiest way of being more clear about life in general.There are many people in the world who care about the have- not's and work towards finding better solutions.They don't get featured in the newspaper or any thing is told about them in the idiot box.But they exist.They dont get nobel prize for peace,but they give us precious conversation sometimes if you bump into them unknowingly.