Sunday, May 28, 2006

Abdul Kalams song for India

As a young citizen of India, armed with technology, knowledge and love for my nation, I realise, small aim is a crime.

I will work and sweat for a great vision, the vision of transforming India into a developed nation, powered by economic strength with value system.

I am one of the citizens of billion; Only the vision will ignite the billion souls.

It has entered into me; The ignited soul compared to any resource is the most powerful resource on the earth, above the earth under the earth.

I will keep the lamp of knowledge burning to achieve the vision - Developed India.

If we work and sweat for the great vision with ignited minds, the transformation leading to birth of vibrant developed India will happen.

This song, when sung in our own beautiful languages will unite our minds for action.

Abdul Kalam


I have had cats as my pets when I was growing up.I used to adopt stray cats and take care of them .When I was in engineering I found this small fuzzy creature on the terrace in my home (in hyderabad).I named it Isabella.(I was readin this novel the main character was Isabella).We both were inseperable.It challenged all scientific theories,because it could read my mind..(Telepathy is childs play for my Isabella).I used to give all the existing love in my heart for my Isabella.But one day as nature would have it ,it went away to CAT HEAVEN...

Fastforward myself to a month of my friends gave me a pet to take care of ..venus fly trap..ur hearing right ..a carnivorous plant..I am basically a non -violent peaceful human..but com..on this is also natures creation and I have found some respect and admiration for this plant..I have officially declared it as my pet and pledge to take care of it ..until my friend arrives...
Anyone interested to know about the plant the link is given below...

Happily ever after.....

As a kid when ever I used to read fairy tales I used to feel so happy at the end.Whatever happens how many ever troubles sprang up the prince and the princess lived happily ever after.When I used to read other story books,if they did not have the magic words "lived happily ever after" I used to feel sad and depressed.But anyways I grew up with that theory that in my life also I would reach that happily ever after stage.I usually read a lot of biographies and during many times I have tried to see whether poeple have reached that stage or not.I cant believe sometimes in my life I thought that it was possible.But I have realised that there is no ever lasting happiness in our lives.It is only for a moment ,then it is gone.For every action there is a reaction,for every happy moment there is a sad moment which is born.The solution given most of the times is to be peaceful..middle way ..dont be too happy or way too depressed.
In sophisticated terms trying to find permanence in impermanence.Detachment to all wordly desires also gets you closer to this goal(not possible for me)

My cousin who is 16 years old was born with a heart defect.He has gone through many operations from the day he was born .He has experienced severe depression for many years.He has gone to many psychologists..(did not help him though)but it has been a difficult learning curve.When asked how he deals with sadness, he says

we all go through difficult times at differnt points of our lives.So the best thing to do when you are at a low point what ever gets you little bit of a movie,paint,go for walk ....

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Getting used to the darkness

Once there was a total blackout in all the apartmnets in our locality.As the night approached everything looked so scary .The shadows,the silence and the intentions of unending doom.I had to go to my friends apartment which was downstairs.As I was trying to find my way through the darkness{college students forget that fire was invented) of my friends yelled and told me "Let the eyes get used to the darkness".It was one of those statements which gets settled in some corner of your consciousness.Months passed and I approached one of the stages in life where everything seemed to end and give me more misery.My heart had become mind desensitized me totally.It took me two months to sit down and face the situation.Then one fine 4am in the morning ,I was staring at the ceiling and my heart filled with grief was making me go crazy ..then I look around was extremely dark.I get scared of dark corners and makes me claustrophobic.But that day I was not scared anymore ,my eyes got used to the darkness.Life gives us hard knocks which we feel we can never face.Then there are times when we get used to life ,lose the fear ,get used to the loneliness and know that there is so much life can offer.The day would begin soon and there is a choice ,be happy and put a smile .Your eyes has got used to the darkness,there is no fear,its your own insecurity which drives you into misery.
I read a article of steve jacobs.Apple ceo(i wish got the name right)
He ends the lecture by telling ...Stay hungry,stay foolish.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

reality and dreams..

How is reality really defined?

Is it the physical sensation of living..breathing in ..happiness and pain all define that we are in fact there in the real world.I have experienced so many dreams which looked so real ...Carl Jung told that our dreams are the window to our unconscious.It helps us understand our hidden reactions which we keep buried because our minds are scared to face the truth.The dreams tell us solutions to the problems which we are undergoing in our lives.In the movie "Maine gandhi ko nahin mara",the reality of Anupham Kher is actually repalced by his dream version where he feels he has killed Gandhi.The delusion was manifested because of the strain in relationship with his father.Its so true that sometimes the people who we love the most are the ones who give us the most amount of pain.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


I have all through my teenage years heard about the wonders about meditation.I had tried it through various stages of life.I first started it when I was 9 years old.I was trembling with fear because I had 2 stages of fever (viral)for a duration of 6 months and I thought I was dying.The second time I actively tried meditation was ,when I failed miserably to clear the IIT exam and ruined my EAMCET exam in that process.[both these exams refer to engineering exams]There was intense pain in me to leave the success driven world and may be go to Tibet to a buddhistic monastery.It made me guilty that I couldnt contniue liking clothes,jewellery how most girls enjoy life.The more I meditated the more I was drawn to see beauty in music,art and I could look into the eyes of a beggar and see the pain .I never felt like this ever.I had become too soft.My life got simplified.I wanted to eat less,work selflessly,eat only simple food.But I was scared that I could not continue a normal life with my freinds.So I do, what every one does when one cant face the facts of life..escape watching T.V,doing mindless shopping ,getting obsessed by the way i look..trying to run away from yourself..
I just couldnt continue meditation continously.I did not know the reasons at all.I read the advantages of meditation everywhere..increased concentartion,improved life,improved memory.Meditation was still there ..but it was a once in a 15 day event.

Monday, May 15, 2006

We are not alone

From when I was a kid, I used to never believe that aliens existed.I dont know ,why I was pessimistic when it comes to extraterrestial life.But most of my concern for denying ,is I had a strange feeling that if humans find out someone superior /inferior existed they would go ahead and destroy the alien civilisation.I could not find it in myself to see that there may be a good interchange which can also occur.I could not read the book contact fully too.[accidently ,ended up watching the movie ,when I was browsing through the multitude of channels]There may be many reasons for this to occur .Our mass media tries to keep hitting us with images which show the worst of the world.We feel happy and drown ourselves in the happiness that we are safe in our four wall prison.There are so many worlds and aliens who exist and get extint at the same time.The daily news does not cover any of this ,unless there is a sensation boiling under it.Where is the positive in the world .Where is the goodness in the world .How come the world does not acknowledge the good more.Why do movies which potray violence and generate brotherly love like Godfather ..generate such respect.[I myself have watched the movie number of times all the three parts]I have lived vicariously while watching the movie, the world of crime and for an instant had an urge to order people to be shot.There are movies which also inspired me to follow my heart like beautiful mind,my left foot,forrest gump.....But what shocks me the most is our mind is like clay and we can imprint what ever we want on it.The inner voice guides you to do things which may be right or wrong ..What is conscience ..Is there a right and wrong to very thing ..Is good better than bad..Is there justice??And above all is there a judge ...Is there anyone who can live our lives so that we can take a break.I have found that we alone have to stuggle and figure out everything.We are alone ..and its a journey that we have to go through to find ourselves..

Friday, May 12, 2006

A tiny speck...

There are millions of stars which make a galaxy.There are millions of galaxies which make a universe and there are millions of universe s which make an multiverse.There are millions...nooo zillions,billions,zillions.. of atoms which make an universe...a single atom has energy which can destroy a whole universe....A black hole exists in every atom.How is this possible ??Why is there a contradiction ??How can a atom be connected to an universe ??Does this speck effect the largest astonomical body??Sometimes I wonder how can one man destroy millions of people ?How can one woman have enough compassion to save the world?Is it really possible for the meek to rule the world??So many questions and there are so many yyyyys answers except some mathematical equations which break down at quantum level. There was a concept in one of the vedas which told how everything in the world is connected .That the beggar at the foot path is an extension of you.They are connected like how the fingers are connected to your leg.Sometimes it looks as if everything is a system on its own and then when a conscious wave goes through your mind and then you realize its just an illusion .You are everywhere and everything is in you.

Thursday, May 11, 2006

When do u get what u want!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I found a lot of ebooks on the net.There was this particular book which I was searching.I wanted it.I just wanted it and thats it.So I went on a search marathon.Went to the gutenberg project to find..could not find it there!!!!searched everywhere could never find it.I had so many books which I was reading, there was no urgent need ..but there was a desire..just for the heck of it own it.Then I trusted my luck ..fate ..universe..self ..wat ever u call it..I thought I was not ready for reading the book.My instinct told me that,when I let go of it thats when I will find it.I killed my desire ,I followed my instict ,told my huge ego to be quiet for a minute.I started reading "A million little pieces".The next day I was just browsing through the same site where I searched and I found what I wanted ..The book was right there front of my eyes..I was ready ...To read and enjoy the book.Few years back I had read a article which told about the catch 22 situation of wants.I re -read it so many times but never thought that it is practical.I was very sceptical of all the faith in universe rules.It told that when you start to desire for anything...relationships,money ,whatever u feel would satisfy your ego ..u create a block in the universe.Silent intention says that you would trust the universe and be happy with what u get .That does not mean u dont have any goals .It just means have dreams,hopes.....learn to let go and it would rebound and come back to u..
when u love someone ..let them go..if they return its meant to be ....

Wednesday, May 10, 2006


Recently i had downloaded a painting from the internet.It showed a guardian angel , 2 kids walking through a deserted forest area and a helpless puppy walking back of them.It symbolised to me how people believe in someone divine lookin above them.The road reminded me of the peom I had read when I was 13 years old.. "The Road Not Taken",by Robert Frost.The innonence with which we enter this world ,the confusion of what tomorrow may bring ,the faith... that by the time we die everything will be fine ....all this and much more was symbolised by this painting.Its true that a painting can speak (more than)a thousand words.I put this as my pic for my orkut account.I felt proud that I put such a sophisticated pic for my account.I was just waiting for all the awe and wonder which all my other freinds are going to shower upon me.This was one of the comments I obtained:
Why did you upload this pic which consists of beggar children ???
May be we all look at things differently.Sometimes we see god in misery and difficulty in oppurtunity....

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

To be or not to be "thats the question"

The eternal question that Shakesphere asked 300 years back still make sense even now.By profession i am an engineer ,by religion i am hindu (born into that family),by mind i am an atheist who follows buddhism and by race i am an human.We are constantly defined by our looks,education,the way we speak ,our skin colour if you are in India and the most important our ethics.Most people dont bother quetsioning the mold they are put into when they are born.We take it for granted our true selves which is defined by religion mostly.In the soul searchings I have always found out that I have changed for the better or worse ....i dont know????Even though the world gives you these exact definitions of who you are what I like is to say ..we are everything...So I AM ...... .So why does our crazy mind tells us that ..???sorry not mind,ego.

Stuck in the moment..

Sometimes things go so amazingly wrong that we feel that single moment ,the fraction of a second is too much to bear.The best thing to do ,when that happens is to let go .To trust your gut instinct ,to let the emotions come out and let the reality sink in."It s just a moment ..u stand and it will pass".This is one of the lines in the song """"stuck in a moment """ by U2.The rule I have lways followed in my life is to have a open mind.To have the ability to learn from anything and everything .Religious and self help books or books of knowledge have always been considered divine.But the little pockets of knowledge which we gain from people who have encountered various miseries and still succeeded to continue living are the ones which inspire me the most.On this particular day everything was going wrong,everything crappy...and my friend who is not a least bit into this new age fundas told me" be indifferent this may sound strange but it works!!!this is one of basic tenets of buddhism..dont want to be preachy!!!