Lately I have been thinking, how instantly we tell "yes" to people around us.May be at work,with family and friends,it becomes easy to mumble a "yes..I will surely do it"
But most of the time I wonder whether we have the capacity to do all that we promise.If you tell "no",then the person will be offended.If you agree to it and not do it..the person gets more offended.In one of the situations,when my friend asked me something,I was honest and told "no".She has stopped speaking to me and I still stand by my ideals.
I confessed to my hatred to neatness and order to my boss.
This may look like professional and personal suicide,but the truth is, I am so relived.I don't want to make promises to anyone.I am tired of faking smiles and giving idle hope to people around me.I confess to my weakness more easily and also praise myself when needed.The doormat attitude of being nice is outdated.I think it takes more courage to say "no" and let no person run over you.Kindness,charity and helping others is important,but our own dharma/duty should be our highest priority.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
The Economics of Relationships…
The base of a relationship is mutual self-interest. We fall in love with a person who exactly does what we want him/her to do. Our minds have set up a certain ideal for the person. The individual has to fit into that mold. When they do something different or do something contrary to our opinions then we begin to hate them. Our own ideal, which we set up, keeps changing. Our criteria keeps getting manipulated by our fickle mind. People …...to our minds are nothing but objects. We can build holy concepts around people,but when it boils down to a relationship, it is pure economics. There is nothing wrong with this idea. Many people think its crude and shun such ideas of looking at a relationship. They always want to look at life through fairy tale glasses. The motto of every business organization is that the customer has to be kept happy. They treat customers with respect and successful business-people treat customers and fellow employees with respect. But in a relationship most of the time even economical standards don’t work. Most of the people who exist in a committed relationship take the other person for granted, don’t keep them happy and forget about respect and trust. A successful business enterprise guarantees good quality of the product and their long life. A good relationship should guarantee long life and also mutual happiness.
Only two independent people can have a good relationship.
Any emotional/financial/physical dependence makes the relationship into a parasite paradise.One would dominate(mostly men) and other becomes submissive(mostly women)..this has been a trend which has continued for centuries.Even though initially parasite-relationships look as if they work,in the long run they break down.
The woman who has no image of her own and she starts searching for something to fulfill her.She lives vicariously through her children.She tries to dominate and subject the kids to all her dreams.The kids end up with psychological problems and they torture their kids and the vicious circle of doom continues.The man on the other hand tries to exercise the power on all levels.Some guys with huge complexes/self esteem issues, try to marry a girl who is quite young.They also try to choose a spouse who is not educated.Somehow they feel that, they can run the girl's life.For such guys a pet dog would be the right choice.They can train the dog more easily.
No amount of wealth and material luxuries patch up the imbalance between the man and the woman in a parasite relationship.
Only two independent people can have a good relationship.
Any emotional/financial/physical dependence makes the relationship into a parasite paradise.One would dominate(mostly men) and other becomes submissive(mostly women)..this has been a trend which has continued for centuries.Even though initially parasite-relationships look as if they work,in the long run they break down.
The woman who has no image of her own and she starts searching for something to fulfill her.She lives vicariously through her children.She tries to dominate and subject the kids to all her dreams.The kids end up with psychological problems and they torture their kids and the vicious circle of doom continues.The man on the other hand tries to exercise the power on all levels.Some guys with huge complexes/self esteem issues, try to marry a girl who is quite young.They also try to choose a spouse who is not educated.Somehow they feel that, they can run the girl's life.For such guys a pet dog would be the right choice.They can train the dog more easily.
No amount of wealth and material luxuries patch up the imbalance between the man and the woman in a parasite relationship.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Progression
How can we judge whether or not we have improved in our life?
There are few theories, which say that there is no ultimate transformation and there is no need to change ourselves. But I feel that because of our illusions that we create,we change ourselves from the perfect state.To return to our original form is transformation.We have to use the relative mind and the changing reality to define ourselves.Even though it is quite clear that we continuously change every second.We set up ideals which we think lasts for a longer time.All virtues and vices which we possess cannot exist.One way to judge progess is to see how much the mind fluctuates between misery and happiness.When we accept both and not complain or if we decrease the amount of cribbing we do,we start progressing towards better mental health.The second way of judging would be how attached or possessive we are to things and people.
There are few theories, which say that there is no ultimate transformation and there is no need to change ourselves. But I feel that because of our illusions that we create,we change ourselves from the perfect state.To return to our original form is transformation.We have to use the relative mind and the changing reality to define ourselves.Even though it is quite clear that we continuously change every second.We set up ideals which we think lasts for a longer time.All virtues and vices which we possess cannot exist.One way to judge progess is to see how much the mind fluctuates between misery and happiness.When we accept both and not complain or if we decrease the amount of cribbing we do,we start progressing towards better mental health.The second way of judging would be how attached or possessive we are to things and people.
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Fear
Fear is a natural response.
I think we all need fear to survive.If we are not scared of wild animals or natural calamities we will be hunted and killed by them.Even though the world popularizes foolish ideals of bravery like jumping of bridges or doing dare devil stunts,the real battles in life are completely different.Matters pertaining to principles can storm our life and create a mess.No amount of physical danger which we have experienced and learnt from, can teach you how to face the danger which leaps within us.I can go on expeditions to mountains and amazing forests,but nothing would prepare me once I turn inward.The amount of mistakes, we commit,are far more greater than what we face in the outer reality.Diseases,worries,phobias and other demons which lurk inside us can affect us and the pain we get from them cannot be escaped.
Christopher Reeves in his biography describes how he had the wrong ideas of bravery.As a “superman”,he did all his stunts and was so confident that life could not break him or scare him.A small accident ,when he went for riding bought his life to a stop.
I think we all need fear to survive.If we are not scared of wild animals or natural calamities we will be hunted and killed by them.Even though the world popularizes foolish ideals of bravery like jumping of bridges or doing dare devil stunts,the real battles in life are completely different.Matters pertaining to principles can storm our life and create a mess.No amount of physical danger which we have experienced and learnt from, can teach you how to face the danger which leaps within us.I can go on expeditions to mountains and amazing forests,but nothing would prepare me once I turn inward.The amount of mistakes, we commit,are far more greater than what we face in the outer reality.Diseases,worries,phobias and other demons which lurk inside us can affect us and the pain we get from them cannot be escaped.
Christopher Reeves in his biography describes how he had the wrong ideas of bravery.As a “superman”,he did all his stunts and was so confident that life could not break him or scare him.A small accident ,when he went for riding bought his life to a stop.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
What is Maya
Narada once asked Krishna …
Lord, show me Maya…
Few days passed away, Krishna asked Narada to take a trip with him to the desert.
After walking a few miles,Krishna tells Narada that he is thirsty.He asks Narada to fetch some water for him.Narada obliges and starts searching for a house where he can find water for his master.At the distant horizon, Narada could find see a well built house.He knocks on the door..A beautiful young girl opens the door.He gets mesmerized by her beauty.He starts talking to her.As the days pass by ,the talks lead to love.Narada approaches her father and asks his daughters hand for marriage.The father was overjoyed and made him a partner in the family business.As years pass by,Narada and his wife live happily.Narada's life gets filled with happiness.He becomes a proud father of two children.After his father in law passes away,Narada inherits the business and all the associated property.Twelve years roll by and there was a huge flood which strikes the desert.The beautiful house crumbles down.Narada places one of his children on his shoulders,holds the other child's hand and with also holds the hand of the trembling wife.As the force of the water pushes the child who was sitting on the shoulder, a cry of despair arises from Narada's heart.In shock he places his hands on his face and starts crying. His wife and his other child get swept away by the rushing water.
He starts crying wildly and screams for Krishna ….
Krishna appears before him ..He asks Narada whether he could find some water for him.It has been half an hour and Krishna was thirsty.Narada tells Krishna that it was 12 years and not half an hour …Then Krishna says
"This is Maya"
Lord, show me Maya…
Few days passed away, Krishna asked Narada to take a trip with him to the desert.
After walking a few miles,Krishna tells Narada that he is thirsty.He asks Narada to fetch some water for him.Narada obliges and starts searching for a house where he can find water for his master.At the distant horizon, Narada could find see a well built house.He knocks on the door..A beautiful young girl opens the door.He gets mesmerized by her beauty.He starts talking to her.As the days pass by ,the talks lead to love.Narada approaches her father and asks his daughters hand for marriage.The father was overjoyed and made him a partner in the family business.As years pass by,Narada and his wife live happily.Narada's life gets filled with happiness.He becomes a proud father of two children.After his father in law passes away,Narada inherits the business and all the associated property.Twelve years roll by and there was a huge flood which strikes the desert.The beautiful house crumbles down.Narada places one of his children on his shoulders,holds the other child's hand and with also holds the hand of the trembling wife.As the force of the water pushes the child who was sitting on the shoulder, a cry of despair arises from Narada's heart.In shock he places his hands on his face and starts crying. His wife and his other child get swept away by the rushing water.
He starts crying wildly and screams for Krishna ….
Krishna appears before him ..He asks Narada whether he could find some water for him.It has been half an hour and Krishna was thirsty.Narada tells Krishna that it was 12 years and not half an hour …Then Krishna says
"This is Maya"
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Insignificance and its Implications
If I die today…it does not make any difference.I am not a pessimist.We are like components in a huge machine.If I die I will get replaced …quite easily.The company where I work,will hire someone else.My desk will be given away...My laptop will also be donated to some poor soul,who has been fighting with a desktop for a long time.My parents will miss me …but time will surely make them forget..The same it is with few of my friends also.
I remember a scene from the movie Matrix…A screen full of numbers..each number is a person…If you disappear,the system doesn't shut down.A new person will take the number.
I remember a scene from the movie Matrix…A screen full of numbers..each number is a person…If you disappear,the system doesn't shut down.A new person will take the number.
Sunday, June 08, 2008
Only Religious People SWEAR
The art of using "Fuck" in everyday conversation
By Osho
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D7rWLzloOI
When I was younger, I would have swear-ed with pride,if things did not go my way.Now that I am a adult..I am not able to swear...Its a handicap...if you are single,8-5 working slave for a big corporation.If you are religious, all the swear words which shall be used...would be related to sexual activity,so any words used at your enemies would give you immense pleasure.....as they would rot in hell because of bad sexual misconduct.
When you are not religious you know that there is no heaven or hell and no God..Then if you assault a person by saying "Fuck you"...Its a blessing in disguise,so that their desperate desires get fulfilled fast.
By Osho
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6D7rWLzloOI
When I was younger, I would have swear-ed with pride,if things did not go my way.Now that I am a adult..I am not able to swear...Its a handicap...if you are single,8-5 working slave for a big corporation.If you are religious, all the swear words which shall be used...would be related to sexual activity,so any words used at your enemies would give you immense pleasure.....as they would rot in hell because of bad sexual misconduct.
When you are not religious you know that there is no heaven or hell and no God..Then if you assault a person by saying "Fuck you"...Its a blessing in disguise,so that their desperate desires get fulfilled fast.
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