Lot of the functions in our body are on auto pilot and we don’t even realize it.Most of our bodily functions like digestion and regulating body temperature happen on their own.We don’t have to instruct the body to do so.It is like a well oiled machine reacting to different stresses of life.Discipline can be related strongly to controlling the senses.But trying to voluntarily control our senses seem as a tough task.But they have lot of benefits.Gandhi had used lot of these techniques to achieve his goal of trying to find the truth.Other than spiritual benefits there are other potential gains from controlling the senses.
Controlling our speech has enormous positive results in our lives.
Think before you talk – I wish I could follow that in my life.I blurt out “yes” when I want to say “no”.I say things which I regret
laterAlso, there are issues of being “too nice” which makes us say things which we don’t mean.When our self worth is dependent on others, we try to please others in many ways.Helping and pleasing are two totally different aspects of charity.Help does not give rise to greed, pride and guilt.Pleasing others gives rise to pride when our ego gets a boost.Also there is enormous guilt of not living up to our standards we set.Once others know that we are working so hard to gain acceptance from them,they start making unreal demands.We wont have the courage to say “no”.Instead we slip into more guilt and they get what they want.
Some ways which I think will help me deal with such situations :
1. Being more assertive about my wants.
2. To say the truth under most circumstances no matter how uncomfortable it makes me feel.
3. To talk only when necessary and avoid doing small talk which involves gossip/rumors.The rule is to solve problems not create new ones.Trying not to “bitch” about othes unnecessarily but to talk about others so that new lessons can be learnt from the mistakes they made.
4. Before I blame others, I look at myself to see if I have made the same mistakes in the past.This exercise actually reduces the amount of anger and hate I develop for the person.
5. To confront the person and let them know off their behavior in a non threatening way and find positive ways to heal myself.
6. If the above options don’t work,then the last option would be to be silent and let it pass.Or schedule a time to discuss the issues later.
Saturday, November 07, 2009
Monday, November 02, 2009
The Skill Set
Thanissaro Bhikku in his discourses writes about how we can strengthen our meditation by becoming skillful in other aspects of our life.According to him if we had excellent skills in other fields,we can pull that perfection into our meditation practice.I do know that cultivating patience,tolerance,kindness and good will towards other begins does rub on our meditation practice.Meditation is done with the help of the mind.So the same mind is used when we perform other actions too.If our mind is skilled when it does everyday actions then I am sure it reflects on the meditation too.Osho once in his discourse wrote about how some monks every month donate one object in their room.They try to renounce and try to live by with few possessions.Thansirro Bhikku and Osho hit the same point ...when they say that the outside environment can reflect back into ourselves.May be cleaning the room may help get rid of the clutter in our minds
Saturday, October 17, 2009
The Shape of Suffering
Suffering is one of the most common ingredients of our desire.Even-though suffering can never be avoided in our lives,we can learn to use suffering to our benefit.The causes of suffering are mostly geared towards our need for permanence.Religious doctrine does mention the causes of suffering and sometimes gives few quick fixes.But only we ourselves through constant contemplation can find out the reasons for our suffering.To develop the required skill set to deal with suffering requires lots of patience.Trial and error process works perfectly.We can try a path ,then give it up..if it does not reduce suffering.The most important thing that I am working on is to reduce the suffering I induce on others(knowingly or unknowingly)
There are lot of books which say that when we heal the world,we heal ourselves.Many of my desires which cause suffering can be divided into two categories...
1.Primitive
2.Induced
Primitive desires are wired inside me.I cannot change them in my lifetime.I can try to reduce the extent how much they alter my outlook.Induced desires are the main culprits.The desires which were induced by society or my surroundings are not long lasting.What I desperately wanted in the past year...I detest the sight of it now.The desire gripped me,then left me.I feel prioritizing the desires would do the trick in most cases.But delaying the gratification may be the solution.
Thanissro Bhikku talks about the skills which are required to remove suffering.He says that the mind is unable to see beyond the instant gratification.The long term effects can never be seen by the mind.That is also the psychology of addicts.
There are lot of books which say that when we heal the world,we heal ourselves.Many of my desires which cause suffering can be divided into two categories...
1.Primitive
2.Induced
Primitive desires are wired inside me.I cannot change them in my lifetime.I can try to reduce the extent how much they alter my outlook.Induced desires are the main culprits.The desires which were induced by society or my surroundings are not long lasting.What I desperately wanted in the past year...I detest the sight of it now.The desire gripped me,then left me.I feel prioritizing the desires would do the trick in most cases.But delaying the gratification may be the solution.
Thanissro Bhikku talks about the skills which are required to remove suffering.He says that the mind is unable to see beyond the instant gratification.The long term effects can never be seen by the mind.That is also the psychology of addicts.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
Overload of Information
Lots of information enters into our mind through our sense - doors (eyes,ears).There is lot of information which is generated through our thoughts.Its not possible for us to cut away our eyes, nose and ears.Without Maya there may be no spiritual enlightenment.But this information overload makes me crazy sometimes.I performed some experiments using myself as a guinea pig :(
My conclusions are:
The enviornment always moulds us slowly.Sometimes our minds are weak and get threatened by the surrounding.Sometimes we cave in.But for the most part we can avoid the unwholesome environments.We can stay away from people who spread their negativity.If we are strong enough to fight the battle,then we can survive,if not we need rest and contemplation.With our own spiritual integrity we can reach a stage where we can take the bad experience coming in and churn out goodness.We can choose the better part in any duality.But we need to ripen to that stage.Personally I fight everyday with my fits of anger,laziness,pride and ignorance.There is a part of me which accepts my clay feet.Buddhist Meditation talks about vows which strengthen our ability to become wiser.Few vows add to our development.They help us from staying away from trouble and also make us more disciplined.
Note: This blog only caters to the topic of spirituality.My opinions may be biased and I try to write the gist of the whole experience.Most of the time I don't add any of the failures I have had on the way.Many blog readers think that I would have all the ideals (100%) as I write.These are the ideals I want to achieve and as always being a human,it is a work in progress.There are lot of fatal mistakes that I have made that I am not proud of.But the blog focuses on sharing the spiritual enquiry which can of be some gain to others.
My conclusions are:
The enviornment always moulds us slowly.Sometimes our minds are weak and get threatened by the surrounding.Sometimes we cave in.But for the most part we can avoid the unwholesome environments.We can stay away from people who spread their negativity.If we are strong enough to fight the battle,then we can survive,if not we need rest and contemplation.With our own spiritual integrity we can reach a stage where we can take the bad experience coming in and churn out goodness.We can choose the better part in any duality.But we need to ripen to that stage.Personally I fight everyday with my fits of anger,laziness,pride and ignorance.There is a part of me which accepts my clay feet.Buddhist Meditation talks about vows which strengthen our ability to become wiser.Few vows add to our development.They help us from staying away from trouble and also make us more disciplined.
Note: This blog only caters to the topic of spirituality.My opinions may be biased and I try to write the gist of the whole experience.Most of the time I don't add any of the failures I have had on the way.Many blog readers think that I would have all the ideals (100%) as I write.These are the ideals I want to achieve and as always being a human,it is a work in progress.There are lot of fatal mistakes that I have made that I am not proud of.But the blog focuses on sharing the spiritual enquiry which can of be some gain to others.
Trying to define Culture
Ug Krishnamurti talks about how the Culture has to go exit from our lives.According to him all knowledge is interpreted on our own level.If we have crossed the seas of ignorance every action will contain wisdom in it.If we are still at the nascent stage of illusory dominance then we look at everything from that perspective.I understood culture as something which we vaguely define by ancient monuments,old tunes of classical music and conservative fashion( which is a death to self expression).But as my knowledge in anthropology and history increases I begin to understand the present better.History is the guiding light to the present moment.But culture is also not a narrow set of rituals which when not followed will lead us directly to hell.So this whole charade of trying to protect our ancient heritage by the way we dress or talk is absurd.Every human being is unique and has a desire to express their uniqueness.Some people go the other way and shock the conservatives by expressing themselves in a weird/obscene way.
But this expression is a search for respect and value.Any ritual which aims to provide spiritual peace ultimately should not be contaminated by our own doses of ignorance or fear.
Then why are these rituals which bound us and not allow us to grow as human beings still around.History can provide us with an answer.In ancient India Buddhism gained a upper hand and was the major religion for many centuries(I don't know the exact timeline)This change from Hinduism to Buddhism happened because our main stream Hindu culture had become contaminated by weird rituals and human sacrifice.The remnants of these can be still found.Sati,child marriage,ill treatment of widows,sacrifice of animals(horse sacrifice etc) were so common.They were practiced till the late 1950's.Then Sankaracharya arrived on the scene and tried to remove the evil rituals and succeeded to an extent.Hinduism began its attempt to rise to glory.But Sankaracharya actions were made as rituals themselves,which is a ironical twist to his existence.If he was alive now,he would be disappointed by how people have formed his philosophy into a cult.Vivekananda failed to built a ashram which had no idols.Every time when an ashram was built the monks found a way to keep idols and pray.His dream of having a empty room to pray was never achieved.His idols are being used as gods themselves.Buddha had to face the same fate.His teachings of questioning everything and reaching nirvana went no where.After his death he was made into a "Super God."
May be our brains are wired to imitate and find easier routes to higher consciousness.Our minds are constantly telling us that,by exactly doing what others do we can reach the goal.The quote of J Krishnamurti can help us here.He says "Truth is a pathless land ."
The new definition of culture, I feel as spiritual aspirant I should learn is that there is nothing like a fixed way to the goal.May be some traditions and rituals may grant us some peace and serenity.But without our sharp logic and reasoning blade we cannot proceed.Many of them are contaminated by the use of male dominance.Some of them urge us to use our wealth to reach divinity.
Every being is capable of attaining the highest limits.Culture which makes me weak,which somehow gives me a ego boost,which helps me bully others...will be discarded.Ug Krishnamurti meant that this kind of culture which expresses itself in various negative ways should be discarded.He also showed a higher level where we can throw away the whole plate of religion,spirituality and also other theories.I have not reached that level.I don't know whether I would be able to hold myself on my own.
But this expression is a search for respect and value.Any ritual which aims to provide spiritual peace ultimately should not be contaminated by our own doses of ignorance or fear.
Then why are these rituals which bound us and not allow us to grow as human beings still around.History can provide us with an answer.In ancient India Buddhism gained a upper hand and was the major religion for many centuries(I don't know the exact timeline)This change from Hinduism to Buddhism happened because our main stream Hindu culture had become contaminated by weird rituals and human sacrifice.The remnants of these can be still found.Sati,child marriage,ill treatment of widows,sacrifice of animals(horse sacrifice etc) were so common.They were practiced till the late 1950's.Then Sankaracharya arrived on the scene and tried to remove the evil rituals and succeeded to an extent.Hinduism began its attempt to rise to glory.But Sankaracharya actions were made as rituals themselves,which is a ironical twist to his existence.If he was alive now,he would be disappointed by how people have formed his philosophy into a cult.Vivekananda failed to built a ashram which had no idols.Every time when an ashram was built the monks found a way to keep idols and pray.His dream of having a empty room to pray was never achieved.His idols are being used as gods themselves.Buddha had to face the same fate.His teachings of questioning everything and reaching nirvana went no where.After his death he was made into a "Super God."
May be our brains are wired to imitate and find easier routes to higher consciousness.Our minds are constantly telling us that,by exactly doing what others do we can reach the goal.The quote of J Krishnamurti can help us here.He says "Truth is a pathless land ."
The new definition of culture, I feel as spiritual aspirant I should learn is that there is nothing like a fixed way to the goal.May be some traditions and rituals may grant us some peace and serenity.But without our sharp logic and reasoning blade we cannot proceed.Many of them are contaminated by the use of male dominance.Some of them urge us to use our wealth to reach divinity.
Every being is capable of attaining the highest limits.Culture which makes me weak,which somehow gives me a ego boost,which helps me bully others...will be discarded.Ug Krishnamurti meant that this kind of culture which expresses itself in various negative ways should be discarded.He also showed a higher level where we can throw away the whole plate of religion,spirituality and also other theories.I have not reached that level.I don't know whether I would be able to hold myself on my own.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Perfection
I have always aimed for perfection.It is a hard place to reach as the common definitions which are thrown around leave no room for failures.I had a rather skewed idea of how things had to be done.To me either I should become the best OR I should never try it (in the first place).That made me miss out on lot of other opportunities in my life. Only after I joined the workplace after my masters ,I started realizing the importance of “Learning curves”
There is a theory which suggests that any vocation if taken up for 10,000 hours leads to greatness.But we need the passion and creativity to start in the first place.Then when we put hours of practice into it we achieve the desired results.Each of our lives are unique and we need skills to tackle the obstacles which often come up.So trying to imitate others leads to disaster.Also we need role models who can suit our goals.We are wired to think only about rewards and success as the world appreciates only when we win.Rote learning and never acknowledging our failures also becomes a habit.That's one of the greatest differences I see between the Indian educational system and Western educational system.Many of my colleagues who had western education would boldly tell the instances they failed to deliver the results.They will be the first to announce that they "Don't Know".They see education as a process of trial and error.No wonder the western world has produced great innovators who continue to inspire and motivate others.
Perfection is a ideal which we can never reach.It is a obsession to be the best.Like Alexander we may conquer many goals but at the end,we may not have time to enjoy it.Whenever I get into this mode of trying to out perform, I think about the real important things in life.A win gives our ego a high ecstatic feeling,but like all other feelings it is transient.Trying to do the best in the present moment and keeping all our ego ambitions on our back burner will be the ideal solution.But to put this principle in practice is very difficult.My mind gets preoccupied with future and gets charged up trying to make plans to reach perfection.One of the ways which helped me immensely was to look at the bigger picture.When my mind gets obsessed with any goal...like admission into a PhD program for a Ivy league university....I remind myself how billions of people are without education.The better approach for dealing with the problem would include me being thankful for the opportunity I was given to further my education.
Reference :
How to escape perfectionism?
By Peter Bergman
http://www.dailygood.org/more.php?n=3845
There is a theory which suggests that any vocation if taken up for 10,000 hours leads to greatness.But we need the passion and creativity to start in the first place.Then when we put hours of practice into it we achieve the desired results.Each of our lives are unique and we need skills to tackle the obstacles which often come up.So trying to imitate others leads to disaster.Also we need role models who can suit our goals.We are wired to think only about rewards and success as the world appreciates only when we win.Rote learning and never acknowledging our failures also becomes a habit.That's one of the greatest differences I see between the Indian educational system and Western educational system.Many of my colleagues who had western education would boldly tell the instances they failed to deliver the results.They will be the first to announce that they "Don't Know".They see education as a process of trial and error.No wonder the western world has produced great innovators who continue to inspire and motivate others.
Perfection is a ideal which we can never reach.It is a obsession to be the best.Like Alexander we may conquer many goals but at the end,we may not have time to enjoy it.Whenever I get into this mode of trying to out perform, I think about the real important things in life.A win gives our ego a high ecstatic feeling,but like all other feelings it is transient.Trying to do the best in the present moment and keeping all our ego ambitions on our back burner will be the ideal solution.But to put this principle in practice is very difficult.My mind gets preoccupied with future and gets charged up trying to make plans to reach perfection.One of the ways which helped me immensely was to look at the bigger picture.When my mind gets obsessed with any goal...like admission into a PhD program for a Ivy league university....I remind myself how billions of people are without education.The better approach for dealing with the problem would include me being thankful for the opportunity I was given to further my education.
Reference :
How to escape perfectionism?
By Peter Bergman
http://www.dailygood.org/more.php?n=3845
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Rhythm of my footsteps
I can hear the loud music playing
I cant bear the sound of screaming people
In search of silence I have started this walk..
I will try to listen to the sound of my footsteps..
The birds are chirping so loudly
Insects are buzzing as the sun sets
Cars go by making a loud noise
I will try to listen to the sound of my footsteps...
My phone rings...
A song makes a appearance ... my mind starts humming
I will try to listen to the sound of my footsteps..
In vain I try to listen to some crazy desire
In vain I make all things swing my way
I give up not wanting to change anything
Suddenly I can "Listen to the sound of my footsteps"
I cant bear the sound of screaming people
In search of silence I have started this walk..
I will try to listen to the sound of my footsteps..
The birds are chirping so loudly
Insects are buzzing as the sun sets
Cars go by making a loud noise
I will try to listen to the sound of my footsteps...
My phone rings...
A song makes a appearance ... my mind starts humming
I will try to listen to the sound of my footsteps..
In vain I try to listen to some crazy desire
In vain I make all things swing my way
I give up not wanting to change anything
Suddenly I can "Listen to the sound of my footsteps"
Negative Emotions
The stink of stale food warns us that it may be poisonous.Eye catching colors in the nature contain poison which may harm us.Nature has lot of effective tools to warn us about impending danger.Everyone has negative emotions which are not distributed equally.A child is not born with a genetic defect of causing harm.Environment governs it to a large extent.Development of an individual occurs in mysterious ways.There are few psychologists who think that there is a hormonal imbalance makes a innocent person into psychopathic killer.
What role do negative emotions play in our evolution?
A violent scene witnessed by a child can make the kid into a violent person or turn him/her to protect the disadvantaged.
Negative emotions serve two goals.Firstly they portray the damage that can be caused by our uncontrollable behavior.They provide a simulation.As humans when we put ourselves in that spot we learn a lot about suffering.Secondly negative emotions when shown by others become an alert signal for us to escape.If a part of the body has been diseased we have to amputate.But that does not happen.Both these cases are not so commonly followed by people.Animals blindly follow natures cues.They don't question.They are obedient servants.Humans are blessed with a calculative and logical mind.Our preferences/ attachments and our desire to mould every situation to our own benefit puts us on the wrong side.We miss the path of growing and evolving into a strong independent person because we are so convinced that things will always go our way.
What role do negative emotions play in our evolution?
A violent scene witnessed by a child can make the kid into a violent person or turn him/her to protect the disadvantaged.
Negative emotions serve two goals.Firstly they portray the damage that can be caused by our uncontrollable behavior.They provide a simulation.As humans when we put ourselves in that spot we learn a lot about suffering.Secondly negative emotions when shown by others become an alert signal for us to escape.If a part of the body has been diseased we have to amputate.But that does not happen.Both these cases are not so commonly followed by people.Animals blindly follow natures cues.They don't question.They are obedient servants.Humans are blessed with a calculative and logical mind.Our preferences/ attachments and our desire to mould every situation to our own benefit puts us on the wrong side.We miss the path of growing and evolving into a strong independent person because we are so convinced that things will always go our way.
Meditation ramblings
When you are meditating lot of questions start arising.Not that they were not there before.Its likes having a endless conversation with a person who never gets tired.Lately I have come to realize that most of my meditation sessions are problem solving sessions.Its like having a one hour meeting where present problems are spoken out.The past traumas and fears take control once I am done with the present moment.Then there is the desires of having a glorious future.Underneath all these is the intention of finding the truth.
The solution does not lie in running away or sacrificing everything.The mind will create fantasies from emptiness and peace Sometimes I feel that unless we understand the problems,we can never meditate and achieve inner clarity.The root of our problems may be the same.A situation when analysed from all angles may give us enough knowledge to overcome lot of the mental barriers.Sometimes I go through phases where I cannot meditate for weeks.
"I can force myself to meditate".
That would be a possible solution... but repressing the mental defilement's can cause them to explode with greater force.Meditation should only be used for developing the inner know-how of our mind.Unless we take a leap and put efforts to grow,the practice will never reap any benefits.The practice itself moves like a sine wave.The highs of mental bliss and the lows of confusion have to be accepted without any complaints
The solution does not lie in running away or sacrificing everything.The mind will create fantasies from emptiness and peace Sometimes I feel that unless we understand the problems,we can never meditate and achieve inner clarity.The root of our problems may be the same.A situation when analysed from all angles may give us enough knowledge to overcome lot of the mental barriers.Sometimes I go through phases where I cannot meditate for weeks.
"I can force myself to meditate".
That would be a possible solution... but repressing the mental defilement's can cause them to explode with greater force.Meditation should only be used for developing the inner know-how of our mind.Unless we take a leap and put efforts to grow,the practice will never reap any benefits.The practice itself moves like a sine wave.The highs of mental bliss and the lows of confusion have to be accepted without any complaints
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Body Complex
Ancient cultures gave importance to the perfect body.The Olmpyics was a result of the obession with the perfect form.The Mayan’s tampered with the muscles of a newborn's forhead, to comform to the mayan standard of having a flat forehead . They also drained blood from their bodies,as a form of sacrifice.The Victorians made themselves look pale white, as being feverishly delicate was the vogue during that time.During the same period women were supposed to have body sturcture identical to men.Fastforward few hundred years and look at the streets of London,people having silicon implants to look more voluptous. So if a Victorian super model travels in time and reaches present day London, she would be deemed as a ugly women.The standards have changed.
The native tribes in all continents still follow mutilation and body worship.
When we see the present day diseases of aneorixa and bulimia,we can see the results of body imagery affecting everyday life.The illusion that there is a perfect body somewhere drives everyone to achieve that ideal.I have suffered numerous "body -complexes" due to my conditioning and also the images of the media gave rise to low self esteem.Even Cindy Crawford in an interview, told that she can never look like the "Cindy Crawford in a magazine”. Then why does the society allow morphed images or impossible body ideals to enter the main stream media?
There are various factors which propel the society to give importance
to the body and not the mind.
1.Idolatory nature of the human species.(Valid from ancient times)
2.The adoration of youth and eternal life.Hatred of old age and
death.( Valid from ancient times)
3.Economic Benefit(The advent of Advertising)
Everyone in the present day has issues concerning their body.We all feel ugly because our bodies don’t match the surgically altered bodies of the actors/actress.We may not have flawless skin or pleasing face.But irrespective of that,the natural law's rots them and us at the same time.But perfection of body is a battle with the impossible.
We may struggle hard to keep the body in perfect shape and form,but old age will come.Death will hunt us down.Our body is bound to decompose and become manure.Yoga
has become so popular in the west.One of the western companies wanted to patent yoga as their invention.What was not done in 5000 years (in India),would be done in the past 50 years due to greed.Even yoga when followed as a exercise regiment may hold some benfits,but without the spiritual component, it becomes a money making machine.
But perfection of the mind is possible.We can reach it. Our mind may have the key to the realms of the unexplored.Thanissaro Bhikkhu in his meditation lectures(http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/meditations.html) says that:
The body works on the "Laws Of Dimnishing Returns".By obsessing with our body we cannot get any answers .By working on the mind we learn to deal with inevitable scenarios like death.Old age gives rise to various fears.Hallucinations and nightmares start ruling our mind once our body starts deterioating.If we spend our youth making our minds fearless and attain a state of peace by accepting death and permancence,we are bound to have a rich life.
The native tribes in all continents still follow mutilation and body worship.
When we see the present day diseases of aneorixa and bulimia,we can see the results of body imagery affecting everyday life.The illusion that there is a perfect body somewhere drives everyone to achieve that ideal.I have suffered numerous "body -complexes" due to my conditioning and also the images of the media gave rise to low self esteem.Even Cindy Crawford in an interview, told that she can never look like the "Cindy Crawford in a magazine”. Then why does the society allow morphed images or impossible body ideals to enter the main stream media?
There are various factors which propel the society to give importance
to the body and not the mind.
1.Idolatory nature of the human species.(Valid from ancient times)
2.The adoration of youth and eternal life.Hatred of old age and
death.( Valid from ancient times)
3.Economic Benefit(The advent of Advertising)
Everyone in the present day has issues concerning their body.We all feel ugly because our bodies don’t match the surgically altered bodies of the actors/actress.We may not have flawless skin or pleasing face.But irrespective of that,the natural law's rots them and us at the same time.But perfection of body is a battle with the impossible.
We may struggle hard to keep the body in perfect shape and form,but old age will come.Death will hunt us down.Our body is bound to decompose and become manure.Yoga
has become so popular in the west.One of the western companies wanted to patent yoga as their invention.What was not done in 5000 years (in India),would be done in the past 50 years due to greed.Even yoga when followed as a exercise regiment may hold some benfits,but without the spiritual component, it becomes a money making machine.
But perfection of the mind is possible.We can reach it. Our mind may have the key to the realms of the unexplored.Thanissaro Bhikkhu in his meditation lectures(http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/thanissaro/meditations.html) says that:
The body works on the "Laws Of Dimnishing Returns".By obsessing with our body we cannot get any answers .By working on the mind we learn to deal with inevitable scenarios like death.Old age gives rise to various fears.Hallucinations and nightmares start ruling our mind once our body starts deterioating.If we spend our youth making our minds fearless and attain a state of peace by accepting death and permancence,we are bound to have a rich life.
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