Thursday, December 28, 2006

The dark ages

The dark age according to me is the age of ignorance.It can last for years and sometimes for decades.We all have a inner dark sides which creeps up once we start to understand the world and its workings.Everything which meets us leaves a part of it in us.The good,the bad and the ugly has hidden faces in our heart.We have our desires and wants creeping on us.Unless we are courageous enough to confront it ..it is going to haunt us for ever.We cannot blame anyone for our dark side.We hold on to it.We never let it heal.Fear would have been the most troublesome obstacle.But I feel each one of us has the inner intution to set ourselves free.To overcome the bonds we created .Personally I have been able to heal myself in lot of ways by doing volunteer service in hospitals.By seeing physical pain and trying to give happiness and hope to patients , I have somehow given the hope of being nice to myself.

Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Following Someone's Footsteps

I cannot accept that I have failed again.I have lost many times before and this is nothing new.Why does my mind try to distort reality when someone tells me that I lost...I know that failure is one of the greatest teachers in our lives..That it is one of the biggest rejuvenators that nature has invented...

When I slip let me not hold on so tight
That I let hope pass by
humiliation when accepted becomes a black rose
It dries and when touched burns into dust
Why does darkness blind me
Who judges me as I lay breathless
Am I the only crazy one in this sane world
Or the sane one in this crazy world

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Everything Happens For A Reason..

This was one of the communities I joined in orkut.Felt the introduction was too good.So just putting it here so many more can read it and learn from it...


Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away they were meant to be there...to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them and you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair, but in reflection of you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never would realize your potential, strength, will power, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, and lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all acure to test limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to know where safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. The successes and the downfalls that you experience can create who you are and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make everything count. Appreciate everything you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.

Talk to people whom you have never talked to before and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you're a great individual and believe in yourself, no on else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it.

Sunday, December 24, 2006

The meeting

With gold you adorn me
Stones block the rays of the sun
My clothes gleam the money you have spent to make me beautiful
Devotees throng at my doorstep
Wait for hours for a glimpse of my shadow
They hope that miracles stick with them
Joys come to them
Money flow from all directions
To whose side I sway
I am pulled by the wealthy and the poor
The one legged man with tears in his eyes for mercy
The woman with cancer who is dying
The rich man who bribes me with wealth
I am just a statue
I am not divine
I lay not in the stones
I reside in the ever confusing riddles of the conscious mind

Following someone's footsteps

I cannot accept that I have failed again.I have lost many times before and this is nothing new.Why does my mind try to distort reality when someone tells me that I lost...I know that failure is one of the greatest teachers in our lives..That it is one of the biggest rejuvenate that nature has invented...

When I slip let me not hold on so tight
That I let hope pass by
humiliation when accepted becomes a black rose
It dries and when touched burns into dust
Why does darkness blind me
Who judges me as I lay breathless
Am I the only crazy one in this sane world
Or the sane one in this crazy world

Friday, December 22, 2006

The untimely fall

Do I need to write down every single occurence of my life
Fading memories have twisted the details of the blurry past
I dont remember roads or faces
I cant remember names or suprises
The joys and sorrows have no value now
I have changed and also changed the memories somehow
The trip down memory lane is a joke to me
I find myself behaving dumb and ignorant as I can be
I cannot see how people around me accepted me then
When I was so dependent and delicate within
A small shake to the boat of life
A small gust of wind scared me
The lens I look through keeps changing as days pass by
I can see the consciousness in my mind enlarge
My heart is getting too tired of love
Because I can see it everywhere in everyone's eyes.
I can't find reasons why I analyse everything in me
May be it is due to a head injury ..
when I entered the crazy world,
banged my head on the hospital wall
recovered from the bump but not from the fall...

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

So difficult...

It’s so difficult to realize that you are not what you look.
If you look good and people appreciate it..this does not give you prolonged happiness(at least for few hours)..just a high for a second...
The million commercials which they show which can enhance your life may be a lie.
The songs featuring handsome hunks and beautiful babes in reality make look fake with layers of make up ...
The camera makes reality ...Your place doesn’t exist ..You are an outsider..
Real India is not the shadow of Ekta Kapoor serials.
Most of India population stays in poverty ..They dont have desinger brands ..They don’t shop at malls...They don’t know that Mc Donald’s is a cancer that is spreading across the world.

These views come out as I try to understand India ...the real India..as I walk on the streets I try to get used to all the male chauvinistic behaviour, the stares, the comments of guys/men who can’t mind their own business. They scan me as if I am the last of the female species. They try to follow me so that they can scare me. They try to instill in me the fact that without a man you are nothing. A part of me is disgusted by what I have experienced in few days. I can't change it. I can't help it. Only thing I know is I don’t deserve this crap.As a self respecting woman I want fairness and justice. I want freedom..I want a India where I can atleast walk happily at 8PM and not get assualted/abused.I just feel sad for all the billion woman who live in villages or god forsaken places where I am sure cave men laws would work better than today’s laws which are run by brain dead men.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Divertions...

It is so difficult to quieten the mind.I am finding next to imposssible to dive deep into silence.Everywhere there are impulses which drive me into a confusion.Happiness,enlightment,peace...all the emotions come from within.But I have started observing lately that many of the emotions which come from me are not the product of the inner turmoil or serenity.It is induced by external factors.The music I listen to ,what I eat,what I watch all contribute to my mind set.I am not me .I am the product of millions of diversions targeted at me everyday.

May be that was one of the main reasons why saints in the ancient world used to isolate themselves.But even in isolation there are diversions.The natural calamities,hunger..all natural instincts used to divert them anyway.The possible solution for the slipping mind is oneness.It comes from awareness of our own diversions.Denial will never lead you to a path of inner wisdom.