Saturday, May 31, 2008

Idealism is CRAP

There is only ANGER and more ANGER when I meet people who dont meet up my expectations.My own ideals life should be,has caused me all the misery.I blame the books and the movies and the millions of songs which have promised me a perfect world.How I wish sometimes that all countries become a bunch of communists and they shoot up all artists and all people who dream.In the process even I would be dead..But then again I wont commit the crime of doing something creative(when I am dead).
This post is in direct response to the news..I watch on Television, during my lunch work.Drugs,murder,sexual abuse,environmental hazards,crap,shit,everything included and many more..I complained how the world was bad..then I realized that the only solution was to not watch the news anymore.Shut it out and there are no problems.Thats the dumbest and the easiest way.I don't have all the answers...Nor do I give a DAMN to question...

Activity is an excuse

All activities in life spring out of boredom..UG Krishnamurti said it right ..when he said that the purpose of the body is to have Food and F***
The life we have ,revolves around making money.Thats what everyone does.All our lives are filled with this great purpose of making ourselves feel better using money or any other activity.

One of the most basic problems in life is boredom.Once we start getting adjusted to a place or a new life we just get bored.Life is a series of repetitions and more repetitions.

Everything is the same.

I was once reading a book called Meditations by Marcus Aurelius (the roman emperor…(shown as) …The old king in Gladiator who wanted Russell Crowe to take the crown)The book Meditations is not a book on Meditation as the name suggests.It is a book which contains the thoughts of the emperor.It was the king's wish that it should never be published.The easiest way of getting any book published is to tell people around you, not to publish it.The moment the king died..his books were published.He is worried about the world and how people behave.All his problems are identical to the problems we face now-a-days..So nothing has changed.All minds are alike.All people suffer from the same problems.Our mind gets bored and wants something to grab.If there are no problems then we create problems.My problems have not changed either.The same questions I had years back still linger on.I wanted to be a scientist and solve few of the problems.But science has no answers just random assumptions.Science loves complexity…and if you search for complexity …it exits everywhere.
I lost my faith in religion..then I discovered science..I lost my faith in science I discovered…spirituality..

I lost my faith in spirituality and I foolish I was to have faith on anything in the first place..

I think the band Linkin Park got it right ,when they sang "At the end …it doesn't matter"

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Don’t Turn Back and see

There seems no way I can remember what I was yesterday
Everything has vanished in one day
There seems no end to this whole misery
Which has crept into me today
I told myself I wont look back
But I turn around and look anyways!!!

Thursday, May 08, 2008


The only way to have hope in life is to be hope-less.
Why should we be positive and expect all the "good" things happen to us.What is the use of going to a place of worship and begging favors from God.Wont God bestow equal favors on everyone.If as a student I write my exam badly and pray to God to pass me...Then there is the professor who is also praying to God and saying that he should grade the papers properly so that there are no cases against him for his negligence.So on who's side will God be.Whatever happens does not happen for the good..It just happens...Having a positive image in our mind we compare our miserable situation with the positive image.The image keeps changing and like a dog we keep running back of it.But I dont think there will any end to it.Having the expectation that the running will stop is also a expectation.That also gives us hope.

Friday, May 02, 2008

Social Change

I want the world to change according to my own petty fancies.I want to wipe poverty,AIDS and cancer.I want to educate millions of poor girls in India.
"There is no need to worry …I am not joining Indian politics "

My Experience with service was as follows…
1.Kindness - My kindness experiments went down the drain as I belive my nature itself is that of anger...I have complaints against everyone.Trying to force kindness on myself was like the experience people would have if they are in a dentist's chair.
2 Feeling better- My ego always gets a good boost .Whenever I do some service ,I develop a halo around my head…for the next few days.Its so shocking how people waste loads of money on creams to get the glow.
3.Influence of Mother Teresa/Gandhi –I was hypnotized early on by Gandhi.He had a stronger hold on my mind than my parents.Even though I was a engineer,deep down somewhere I belived that the spinning wheel can save the world.The things people can do to you from the grave is scary.
Mother Teresa was a huge influence on me.The fact that she donated a apple at an young age was something which blew my minds off.When I was young I used to hide chocolates from everyone.I was denied admission in a school because of my excessive attachments to choclates.So whenever I used to serve I used to feel like I was one step closer in becoming Mother Teresa.The silly thing was I can never become like Mother Teresa because she was a Norwegian and I am a Indian.So all my efforts at donating money,biscuts,books to become like her, went out of the window because of citizenship problems.
If I suffered from Depression I used to volunteer.When I used to see other people in worser conditions I used to help them.I felt better because they were miserable.Poverty actually cured my depression.
Volunteer service becomes a good topic for breaking the ice…whenever I meet strangers on flights etc..
God/Temples are good ice breakers too.I have zero knowledge about both so I always chose volunteer service as conversation starters
6 Employment
It can also be seen internship experience by employers.(I added it in my resume)
7.Food/other benefits
Normally you get fed really well by organizations if you are volunteering.You may get some free stuff too.Temples in USA have that advantage too.Most of the time I meet people who are religions,they tell me of the greatness of Dosa or different varieties of rice available.One temple I personally recommend for good Tamil food is Meenakshi Temple in Houston.I am yet to meet "religious"people who tell me about God or about mental peace they obtained when they went to a temple.
If temples should have more attendance I feel they should open a Mc.Donalds outlet there.
8.Well Behaved People:
You meet nicer people.Even if they have deep hate for you, they smile outwardly because everyone is working for a good cause which can make the world a better place.

Personally I feel the very need to serve, if got from the desire to feel better about yourself …..Is the worst desire a human can have.
We always want to feel better and become superior to others.Sympathy/pity/empathy and all these emotions are not strong enough to motivate a person to serve.If they were strong enough then the world wont have so many problems.Every single time we serve its like filling a bottomless tank with water.Its gone …Its wasted…There is no difference done.When this idea really sinks into us that we don't make a difference then it's the best kind of service.The ego does not claim its greatness and you don't become a super kind individual suffering for the world.After realizing this,if there is still a desire to serve,then I guess service would be a right path....