Tuesday, February 27, 2007

Self and Society..

The conception of self and society

All my life I have been mesmerized by western music.I have lived in the traditional joint family for all my life.Only a year back I separated and started living on my own.The western music symbolized rebellion and individual expression. To me the self was sacred, the expression of it my birth right.
In a family which has(too many people)your self is a mixture of many souls. You get connected to this large unit where there are collective goals and collective laws. Let me draw a analogy and say something in terms to the country or state. As a single entity you are taught from a young age to think about your own ideas and goals. Our school system sees that we develop a plan for the future. We struggle to stand on our own feet in this process we topple many of the others down through the process of competition. Darwin would have winked and told you that this is the proof for "survival of the fittest" theory. Once we develop this selfishess..self -enlightment techniques we soak ourselves in our own greatness.This is a important transition phase for human beings.Because without developing a proper identity and definition for our own selves we suffer in constant confusion .The realm of higher consciousness kicks in when we realize the uncertainty associated with our lives.As humans our family becomes an integral part and we take it for granted.Our leap into the pool of enlightment comes in when we learn that we are a part of the whole.To become one we need to expand our family.Then the patriotism and jingoism/fundamentalism of religion and country sets in.Starting from the usual screams that we use to boo down opponent countries in sports to the hatred we show towards other religions and races it is a higher plane ...but not that tall that it teaches us compassion.The German holocaust is a clear example this kind of evolution.
To really understand the meaning of society we need to have humanitarian intellect which is lacked by many in the world. The reason for wars in most of the countries is a clear signal for this kind of deficiency. To me society encompasses all living beings. We need to develop compassion and respect to all the living creatures in this world. Humans are a speck in this humungous universe/multiverse.....The speck is noticeable but still it is only a speck..

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Glimpses of Paradise

These are the pictures taken in Kolkatta,at the Parivaar Ashram.It was a beautiful morning,6AM ...The rays entering through the leaves...

Sunday, February 18, 2007

A note from the past

I found one of own old journals lying in the corner of my room.I write a journal to vent my feelings out.I write because at that moment my mind flows out all the words in a flow that I immerse myself in my being..


In the 20 years of life I have lived,I have filled up the pages of too many journals.The moment I turned 20 I started having serious thoughts about my life and I wanted to live my life the way I always dream't of.The pain and sorrow is worth it because of the insight it brought into the life.I will try to appreciate and be happy with what I have been provided with.My life has taught me to be tolerant towards others .Change is the only thing which teaches us everything.Sometimes I used to feel that life has nothing more to offer and that was the time when life gave me infinite possblities.It is when we limit our lives from doing things and trying to break boundaries which we shouldn't have in the first place , life turns into something else.The code for the diary is to write from the heart and have no preconcieved notions of life.Experiences written here should be honest so that they can help me in the future (if I ever turn back and read it).I wish this diary could be a journey into a life and lead to self discovery and to attain a more spirutual insight into my life.

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Surface of dust...

This was one of the funny incidents which happened few months back in the astronomy lab .(where I teach)
The labs I have to teach are always in the night(8PM-11PM).So as I was setting up the telescope for the day's observations, the students were just overwhelmed by the feeling of handling the telescope.There were nervous gossips ,biographical instances which were passed along,a laugh ,a complaint ...chaos..simple chaos..
The beautiful solitude under the stars have turned into a discordant noise.I was losing my patience,the nerves on my forehead were throbbing with irritation and I was not able to concentrate on setting up the focus for observing the peaks on the moon.I saw a cracked surface and sighed a heavy sense of relief.The students started looking at the object with constant suprise and awe.There was this boy who kept a intriguing look and told me that what I have focussed on is not the moon.It may be a crack at the eye piece.I got angry at my fault and at the same time I laughed at my foolishness.

What is an eye piece?
An eyepiece brings all the light rays gathered by the telescope into sharp focus. The eyepiece determines the magnification of the image as well as its brightness and contrast
There are various sizes which are used..25mm,12.5mm,40mm,7mm..

It happens so many times in our life.. due to the confusion and suffering that life offers we see,everything through a sense of negative ideaology.We feel there is no hope in the world.The world wants us to be punished and we burden ourselves with guilt.Only if we could look through with the eyes of hope and self belief we see the beautiful dreams ,the various sparks of divinity we are blessed with.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

The other

Caution:This article mostly deals with the Indian life.The thoughts are motivated solely on my experience of life

"The other"

I had found this metaphor in Paul Coelho's book.(By the river Piedra I sat and wept)

It gave rise to an interesting analysis of what people normally do to fulfill society needs.

Most of the time .Many of us take up stable professions (engineer/doctor)because we are told by someone or other that it can provide you a comfortable job to push on with life.Many couples have kids because they are fulfilling the scheme given by their parents .Many more get married because the society feels that you need a companion to take care of your needs.(mostly in old age or if you stricken with some terrifying disease)

If you are a girl it becomes mandatory that you get married ,as you are a helpless individual who cannot live by society standards.

But I shake in terror for those people who fulfill these roles and start acting in this play and realize half way that they can change their life.That they can have other professions and may have other goals that they want to strive for.
Life becomes a curse...for them.Sex(addiction),drugs and alcohol become their support system.

I have found so many roles that I personally played and I may be still playing ...and I am yet to get of this trap and start to focus on a life which is more complete and which is totally ...Mine...

The other is the curse of fame
Ideas which are generated in them
Which get injected into me
I can never walk alone
Because of this constant nosie everywhere around me
I wish I could disappear from this constant commotion
But it exists deep within me
I need to kill a part of me
I need not cry for its death
My tears become my repentance..
The strings which hold me
I hope to strangle the other with them
The birth of hate within me
I am turning into them....

Friday, February 09, 2007

Higher goals of love

I have never seen a flower which stopped blooming because no one looked at it.
I never saw the sunset not revealing its beauty because there was no one to soak up its glamour.
The clouds and the winds give me their gifts everyday ..sometimes I forget to take a look at them..But next day they are again on my way giving me comapany...
Our natural state of existence is of joy and love.We were created in the same way flowers,clouds and other magnificent things of nature.Then why did we not learn this basic fundamental truth about love .The highs and lows of passion are the illusions created by our fickle mind.There is only a constant compassion which can exist in our heart towards whom we love or hate.

When the Buddha teaches others
he does so out of compassion,
because the Tathagata is wholly freed
from both favour and aversion

Saturday, February 03, 2007

The day I was truly happy...

Can you just smile and be happy ...try to be happy ...the words echoed through my head..two hours of meditation and 1 hour of intense yoga...the speaker gave us our daily homework....
Smile and be happy for a whole day.If you cannot be happy at this moment and where you are ,you can relocate where ever you want and do everything you always wanted ..but still ,your happiness will be drifting away.Happiness lies in this moment.Enjoy it ...before it passes away...
I try to smile ..I try to be happy ...I could manage it for a couple of hours and then I got irritated ..I felt as if the world was conspiring against my failing moods...
A week passes by...My eyes wander through the victorian buildings,I see sweet shops and fish everywhere,I see huge buildings and slums all over the place.I pass through narrow lanes and reach Bonogram.I see the moonlight shine through the darker waters.

I try to make sense of the complimentary existence of poverty and spirutuality.
As the day dawns, I see couple of 6 year olds trying to enter my room.The puzzled faces are amusing to look at ..I smile...

I see a small baby running by ..the only 1 year old in the premises...she turns and starts telling me the only bangla word she knows..I offer her a biscut she smiles ..I smile...

I see a flood of small kids running towards me ...they start kissing and hugging me ..I smile and I laugh...

The kids go to school...The sun shines at me...I visit the play ground where the younger kids were playing ...they start speaking bangla and I am confused ...I tell them I know only Hindi ..They laugh...I smile..

I try to eat lunch with all the kids ..they start discussing about me with everyone ...They smile ...and I smile..

In the evening few of the kids organize a performance for me...They sing Rabindra -sangeet and dance for the popular Bangla songs...I clap ...I smile...

As night dawns I play with kids and we have dinner...We share our joys...I smile...

As I bid goodbye to the City Of Joy ..It gives me the biggest gift ...It taught me to be happy ...

The organisation I had visited in Kolkata was Parivaar.(www.parivaar.org)
The kids taught me one of the most important lesson in life .These kids are rejected by society.At parivaar they are given a new home and a new life. The kids in Parivaar stand as a testimonial...for the human soul which has overcome so many obstacles.