Sunday, March 25, 2007


There is this strange alone-ness which each of us possess .Our deepest self knows that.We suffer so much trying to connect to others .But the world does not understand..The world does not perceive..

The silence in the continuous melody
The moment of failure
The ectasy of joy
The instrument can never play the music
It watches as the sound flows...
This moment defines your life your the observer ...
You make illusions ...
You create ..
You forget..
You weep at fate
But you are the one who made this eternal world..
The voice never dies..
You are here and will always exist...

Oh lordy, trouble so hard
Oh lordy, trouble so hard
Don't nobody know my troubles but God
Don't nobody know my troubles but God

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Part 2 :The Others

This post is mostly concerned about others..literally..I have been cheated so many times .....I had to think why this was happening to me again and again...My friends for whom I wasted my time,energy and above all my trust and love have given me only grief ,sadness and suffering.Few of them have even cheated of the little money I had earned staying on my own.
For example:
The laptop I had bought ,was sold to me by one of my friends.(for 800$) Few months later I found out that even that was stolen from a shop.There were many other instances which happened which kept my mind busy and no day went without someone or other troubling the hell out of me.The most difficult part for me to understand that I never cheated them..I was always careful that I don't do something which may hurt anyone or do something which will kill my conscience and I lose sleep in the nights.Last one year was a major year for me because I realised that it was my own fault that I could never make good decisions.I could never analyse a person(only analyse not judge).Everyone I used to meet I used to colour them according to what I feel the person should be.If they were educated or knowledgeable I used to feel that they had impeccable character and high values.I was so caught up in my own imaginations about the goodness of everyone that when ever I used to see a tiny fault I used to just sweep it away.I never thought about it .Never questioned it. The imagination of building up a person in my mind clouded their real self .The "other" in this case is the imagination of a being who doesn't exist.This projection of mind distorted the reality of existence.

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Creating a vaccum

Is it difficult to live your life expecting nothing???

When ever we have a difficult time with work or in general our life we tend to analyse it.We interrogate ourselves until we have worn ourselves out.People will tell you to take some time off.We leave the place.Place a identity of a tourist on yourself,barge your self into new place, new roads,new destination.But it is the same you.Sometimes we feel that only we when we give up the relentless need for knowing definite answers we reach a conclusion.The feelings,the emotions still exist.You cannot forget the past .You feel if only you had a pill like in matrix to know whether we exist like nameless numbers without any sense of existence.Can we erase some parts of us.We leave old habits and then we form new habits.Does nothing exist?
But I have always found that when we feel out of control and you feel helpless and when you can only control your response that is the real test of life.You don't wait and plan for tomorrow.You live in a vaccum where even your body does not give you company.Your mind is tired,body is stressed with anxiety and pain then you can clearly feel a part of you still is residing which does exist.The despair or total happiness in any situation shows you a part which does not belong to your identity as a machine with a mind and body.These moments are valuable and when life pushes this on everyone we need to just wait and listen .

Thursday, March 01, 2007


Is it possible to reduce the disturbance in our heads..
Does silence exist for ever...
Even the most enlightened beings would tell you that it is impossible to exist in bliss forever.Even if you leave all attachments and leave to Himalayas...
You will have noise...You struggles will come from within you..the external ones have disappeared....the internal struggle will start....
But how long do we continue this process of learning .
Is there a end??
Is death the end??
May be the answer lies in realization of the fact that disturbance is the natural state.Hunger,suffering,disease,doubts are common in this world..we can never escape them..We can always scale them down.Instead of suffering for mundane issues of life(like not having the latest brands of clothes) we suffer for humanity.We suffer when we see thousands die in useless wars ..we suffer when our neighbours die in hunger and in our minds we are happy...This suffering teaches us that we belong to bigger family.It allows us to take action, manifest our greatness and realize our own divinity.

Enlightement is the falling of the leaf
It happens for a second
You weep for the silence
Your heart drowns in joy
But it is gone
Just as it came
For a second lasts for an eternity
And infinity cannot be measured by a second...