Thursday, July 31, 2008


When a beautiful flower blooms,somewhere in the amazon forest..Who observes that!!!
Trees which grow for hundreds of years,who notices their birthdays?
But why is that humans have a deep desire to get noticed.Every time we achieve something,we feel dejected ...if we don't get the required credit.Fame is transient and lasts only for a while.Celebrities do everything to hold on to their image.In everyday life people try to get noticed and do everything so that all the people around them keep buzzing their name.

Too many useless friends/relationships,wealth,personality traits and many more attributes can be used to become popular.The desire to get noticed and accepted by the other creates most of the problems.The "other" always effects us.

We wonder what "others" will say about us and we want to be superior to "others".Advertisements,standards set by society(economic and religious),moral values and also our own goals.The only way to kill the others mentality is to become aware of our intentions and motives.Does our desire and motivation come from within us?
Are our intentions worthy enough?
Answers to these questions may shatter away relationships.Personally I still fight with the "other" everyday.I still try to live away my life according to my inner motivation.But still a wave comes along and takes me away to the "others" world...

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

How honest can you get.........

Lately I have been thinking, how instantly we tell "yes" to people around us.May be at work,with family and friends,it becomes easy to mumble a "yes..I will surely do it"
But most of the time I wonder whether we have the capacity to do all that we promise.If you tell "no",then the person will be offended.If you agree to it and not do it..the person gets more offended.In one of the situations,when my friend asked me something,I was honest and told "no".Now we are not on talking terms... and I still stand by my ideals.
I confessed ,my hatred for neatness and order... to my boss.

This may look like professional and personal suicide,but the truth is, I am so relived.I don't want to make promises to anyone.I am tired of faking smiles and giving idle hope to people around me.I confess to my weakness more easily and also praise myself when needed.The doormat attitude of being nice is outdated.I think it takes more courage to say "no" and let no person run over you.Kindness,charity and helping others is important,but our own dharma/duty should be our highest priority.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

The Economics of Relationships…

The base of a relationship is mutual self-interest. We fall in love with a person who exactly does what we want him/her to do. Our minds have set up a certain ideal for the person. The individual has to fit into that mold. When they do something different or do something contrary to our opinions then we begin to hate them. Our own ideal, which we set up, keeps changing. Our criteria keeps getting manipulated by our fickle mind. People … our minds are nothing but objects. We can build holy concepts around people,but when it boils down to a relationship, it is pure economics. There is nothing wrong with this idea. Many people think its crude and shun such ideas of looking at a relationship. They always want to look at life through fairy tale glasses. The motto of every business organization is that the customer has to be kept happy. They treat customers with respect and successful business-people treat customers and fellow employees with respect. But in a relationship most of the time even economical standards don’t work. Most of the people who exist in a committed relationship take the other person for granted, don’t keep them happy and forget about respect and trust. A successful business enterprise guarantees good quality of the product and their long life. A good relationship should guarantee long life and also mutual happiness.

Only two independent people can have a good relationship.
Any emotional/financial/physical dependence makes the relationship into a parasite paradise.One would dominate(mostly men) and other becomes submissive(mostly women)..this has been a trend which has continued for centuries.Even though initially parasite-relationships look as if they work,in the long run they break down.
The woman who has no image of her own and she starts searching for something to fulfill her.She lives vicariously through her children.She tries to dominate and subject the kids to all her dreams.The kids end up with psychological problems and they torture their kids and the vicious circle of doom continues.The man on the other hand tries to exercise the power on all levels.Some guys with huge complexes/self esteem issues, try to marry a girl who is quite young.They also try to choose a spouse who is not educated.Somehow they feel that, they can run the girl's life.For such guys a pet dog would be the right choice.They can train the dog more easily.
No amount of wealth and material luxuries patch up the imbalance between the man and the woman in a parasite relationship.

Thursday, July 10, 2008


How can we judge whether or not we have improved in our life?
There are few theories, which say that there is no ultimate transformation and there is no need to change ourselves. But I feel that because of our illusions that we create,we change ourselves from the perfect state.To return to our original form is transformation.We have to use the relative mind and the changing reality to define ourselves.Even though it is quite clear that we continuously change every second.We set up ideals which we think lasts for a longer time.All virtues and vices which we possess cannot exist.One way to judge progess is to see how much the mind fluctuates between misery and happiness.When we accept both and not complain or if we decrease the amount of cribbing we do,we start progressing towards better mental health.The second way of judging would be how attached or possessive we are to things and people.