Saturday, December 27, 2008

Not having enough

I have always struggled with some insecurity when it comes to relationships.It has always been that I victimize myself.I used to feel that I should be showered with extra amount of "love/care".
So this whole need to cling on to people and expect, was existing for a long time.
By the time I realized my foolishness,I had lot of people who have got used to the "clinging kind of me".They don't accept the changed "me" anymore.For them any positive change in me, means more trouble.Once we change,the people around us should also change(with respect to the way they behave towards us)
Most of the people we meet hate change.So I avoided being real most of the time.I lied,did everything to blend into the surroundings,started acting....did stupid things so that I could be accepted.I don't know, if it was, spiritual study or plain maturity which actually made me realize my own deceptive ways.I started being assertive,stuck to my beliefs and then the most unfortunate thing happened.People started deserting me.They just walked out of my life.

In most of the fairy tales,its always shown so positively.When we become brave and fight all the demons within us we are supposed to get applauded.So I was dumbstruck..when I realized how the world works.
Originality is always seen as a negative trait.Being honest,a huge crime.Only if you are inventive and make lot's of money..then the world acknowledges you..
If you are planning to become real,then say good bye to the world you know.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Rat Race

I am tired of the rat race
I am not talking about the rat race of corporate world.I am talking about tagging.If you are a Indian you will be quite aware of how we need to define ourselves with these tags ... Best School,Best University,Best Company and the list does not end.It causes so much stress to always aim for the best and try to tag it with your name.
They have been instances when I forget the name of the person but I remember the popular university/company they work for.(I know its a pathetic state..But as a middle class Indian I was trained this way)
Why cant future Indians be trained to aim for below average things.
Its the same thing which repeats itself every time you think of future spouse/children.As if thinking of superior standards was not have to sit and worry about the image of three other people.I feel so happy to meet Indians who are having a different educational background than me.I guess we automatically judge people based on their educational achievements and the company they work for.
When it comes to other nationalities,the talk is always about social life.May be for Indians the lack of social life and higher educational responsibilities ruins our ability to look at each other in any other way.

The World and Us

"The mind creates our world"
{I used to always think..its the other way ...
The world was created and then we entered into it

Whenever a desire takes shape within us...It produces a reaction,which we project it outside.
Are there levels of how strong a desire can be?
Is a strong desire called Ambition?
This is where most of the self help make a million dollars.They tell you that there are 10 simple ways to make every desire come true.That seems funny to my mature mind.But I have spent countless hours(when I was younger)reading/revising these great techniques to develop my super-natural abilities.But all the favourable outcomes were forced.Nothing came naturally.That is where I lost all my faith on self help books which tell us that when we change action, everything changes with it.
But the action is made by our thoughts.
But then most of Indian philosophy tells us that all thoughts are false.Our true self lies beyond the mind.

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

To love unconditionally

I guess any person who says "go and love everyone unconditionally" ....must be playing a cruel joke on you.
But as always being the obedient philosophical student,I decided to try that in my life.I failed miserably.I cannot love anyone unconditionally!!!
The more I tried to love people I hate..the more hatred I developed.I started counting the days when they will be out of my life.Failure is such a hard knock on your head..and to top it off, when you fail in your spiritual endeavors.No one shares your spiritual failures.

Few things I realized about unconditional love are as follows...

I thought unconditional love was like "romantic" love shown in movies ....
You feel so nice,the blissful amazing experience like heaven on earth.Unconditional love does not get defined by our inferior standards of romantic love.The possessiveness,domination and feeling special does not exist.Unconditional love just means that you never expect anything in return.That also means that you don't have to compromise your life and your ideals to make the other person feel better.
unconditional love can be defined as the openess of a person who does not get bothered by the other person.How-ever they are..What-ever they are...It does not matter..
You don't want to give them advice/suggestions...You don't want to prove anything..
You exist with them and know in your heart that they are going to evolve in their own pace.