Sunday, August 10, 2008

Giving and receiving

Giving is always portrayed as something really great.Receiving on the other hand is shown as being meek.Charity is taken as a virtue and the people who we are being charitable to is shown with sympathy.Asking makes us feel small.Ancient monks were made to beg for food.Whatever was given to them was to be taken with a smile of gratitude.Asking breaks down the pride of ownership we have and also things we can control.I have always suffered from great displeasure when it comes to taking favors.I feel uneasy even to ask people for help when I need it.Life cannot be lived in isolation and we need support from others for our own well being.I have tried to cultivate the value of giving but I forgot to cultivate the value of receiving.When I ask something my mind creates a divide between me and the person I ask from.There is a sudden comparison mode my mind steps into.I feel smaller and the person who provides me help becomes a larger than life figure.
Why cant my mind accept that even that person requires help from other people?
Then if the person rejects the offer and not help me,my mind gets into condemning and steps into the zone of lower self worth.As our own worth ceases to exist in trivial emotions and beliefs,the less we will get effected by the outside.


Anonymous said...

Nice post :-) May be too much of such self-analysis might be the problem. Take it easy on yourself :D

Anonymous said...

I too used to find that receiving was awkward while giving was heroic. Breaking down the pride however opened a new perspective. Asking for assistance and receiving it gracefully is a gift to the giver.

My grandma is 92. Her only son gave her a new TV. She smiled and said that the other one was fine. It was large enough, clear enough and it worked very well. But he wanted to give so she graciously received. She was blessed with a new TV and he had the satisfaction of knowing his mom was enjoying her shows.

i've come through a time of deep grieving. Friends offered to meet me for tea, invited me camping and accepted my invitations. It kept me moving and allowed me to grieve in different ways (including having fun and letting go of the cause of the grieving for some time). I could have looked at it as them feeling sorry for me. Instead the realization that I have great friends who are willing to support during this time in a way that I'm willing to receive showed the strength of our friendships.

The give and receive is what allows relationships to remain balanced. When there is only giving or receiving then the sense of superiority or pity can settle in. Keeping it balanced makes for healthier relationships.

There comes times when we need to rest into the arms of the friendships we have nurtured.

Thanks for sharing your perspective... as for the previous comment... deep thinkers often tackle life from a perspective with which others may or may not be able to engage. It's ok to "over analyze" at times. It gives a richer experience of life... so long as it's not in isolation for too long. Deep calls out to deep.

The Seeker is the Sought. said...

well to begin with, who are we to "give" anything, we dont own anything in the first place.. what nature has provided it has provided for everyone equally. Its no bodies business to stop me from takeing a mango from a tree but the tree these days belongs to a owner or the state. Its the fault of religion which stops us from taking what is ours and dividing lands and spaces that have no borders, protecting the rich man with its moral laws while the poor man is left to beg or eek a living. There is no reason for anyone to starve in this planet but yet millions die out of starvation while others feast endlessly and call it modern economics! Economics means to create imbalance the only roll of Banks are to block(dam) the flow of cash from going to everyone. If the cash went to everyone then no one needs to starve but its these same big western banks that talk of providing funds for aid are the ones that are actually blocking the flow of cash to the people who need it.

But who am i to talk about all this, its natures own cruel design that has created this. Mans thought is also part of natures creation and what he does is also nature and not artificial as we are made to think. So i have no problem with human nature.

Sorry if i sounded too serious.