Sunday, March 23, 2008

Obstacles in Relationship..

Many people try not to get attached and live in a kind of shell surrounded by the ocean of people.This policy of trying to forcibly be away from people is not healthy.Its not detachment in any sense.Fear of attachment is not detachment ..it is cowardice.If fear of any kind exists then we are again attached to fear itself.So its not the people we meet we get attached too.It is only deep seated fear of pain.Pain and pleasure are the same thing.Just a momentary sharp emotion which can give rise to different sensations in the body.The pain/pleasure occurs in the mind first and then the body responds to it.If we get hurt because we are attached we start crying.The body follows the mind.But the mind is fickle and if shown something more pleasurable we run again behind that forgetting the pain.True detachment does not mean we ignore the person or try not to maintain any relationship...Being truly detached means we treat every person in the same way ...everyone becomes special.Detachment is also a process ...When every living being is given the same amount of respect as our beloved then we have become truly detached.
Practically is it possible to live without getting worried about the other person?
I feel that most of the time when we take care of the mental processes of our own mind ..everything just falls into place...Every problem in a relationship is again a reflection of problem within us.Cultivation of Aloneness is the best solution to most of the problems in our relationships.

3 comments:

Samhita said...

nice to see you back :)

Sharmila said...

I was wondering how to be unattached with a lover...and it gets to be a test of constant vigil...I don't know I suppose it's new for me, and it's a practice like anything else.

Nice blog...seems like we have a lot in common, check mine out, I do my best to be bare bones about spiritual practice... blogs.bootsnall.com/sharmila

LongerDisplayNames said...

>> Being truly detached means we treat every person in the same way ...everyone becomes special.

Wow! cannot agree more....

>>Practically is it possible to live without getting worried about the other person?

But detachment, as per the definition above, doesn't exclude the possibility of love, does it? So, I feel that its okay to be worried about someone as a result of this love.