Saturday, March 17, 2007

Part 2 :The Others

This post is mostly concerned about others..literally..I have been cheated so many times .....I had to think why this was happening to me again and again...My friends for whom I wasted my time,energy and above all my trust and love have given me only grief ,sadness and suffering.Few of them have even cheated of the little money I had earned staying on my own.
For example:
The laptop I had bought ,was sold to me by one of my friends.(for 800$) Few months later I found out that even that was stolen from a shop.There were many other instances which happened which kept my mind busy and no day went without someone or other troubling the hell out of me.The most difficult part for me to understand that I never cheated them..I was always careful that I don't do something which may hurt anyone or do something which will kill my conscience and I lose sleep in the nights.Last one year was a major year for me because I realised that it was my own fault that I could never make good decisions.I could never analyse a person(only analyse not judge).Everyone I used to meet I used to colour them according to what I feel the person should be.If they were educated or knowledgeable I used to feel that they had impeccable character and high values.I was so caught up in my own imaginations about the goodness of everyone that when ever I used to see a tiny fault I used to just sweep it away.I never thought about it .Never questioned it. The imagination of building up a person in my mind clouded their real self .The "other" in this case is the imagination of a being who doesn't exist.This projection of mind distorted the reality of existence.

9 comments:

Ram said...

Well it seems,you have to improve your instincts of self preservation or understand that others are at different modes ,which does not naturally extend beyond themselves ...to flow into the society at large.

astrocrazy2005 said...

Ram,
Thanx for visiting the blog..Yes I agree with you...To be something of a lotus in muddy water is difficult but not impossible.

Araval said...

Don worry...you got a chance now considering the past as a experience

Ram said...

You need better friends Preethi...:)

astrocrazy2005 said...

Ram,
yes I need :)

Arval,
Yes past experiences teach us a lot..

s3nt4h said...

All i can say you might be very sensitive.

You can never be sure that you didnt hurt anyone, you can only assume that you didnt do any harmful things knowingly. Also why do you think the time and energy you spent is waste ? Nothing goes waste.

Sometimes it does happen that we dont see the real person behind artificial smile.Also dont judge people by wat they say, but by wat they do

You have a good one.

astrocrazy2005 said...

s3nt4h,
THanks for visiting my blog..
I might have hurt many people unknowingly..but I dont think I schemed, planned and executed something which can hurt/cheat people in a major way.
I do completely agree wih you on the fact - dont believe what a person says but look at his actions.
May be my fogged up mind would become clear and awaken to the reality giving more value to myself..which is more important than anything else..
I do give a lot of value to relations..May be I am a bit hyper sensitive...I need to check the nearest mental asylum:)

s3nt4h said...

you mind is not fogged, but smogged :-).

have a good one.

astrocrazy2005 said...

its not smog..it is temorary blindness:)