To defend ourselves

As humans with uncontrollable emotions we all are vulnerable.Whenever we are threatened we become defensive.We try to erect a wall of logic.I mix logic with lies, so that I can attract sympathy from people.The reason we get defensive is not to fool others but to protect ourselves from psychological pain.As free individuals we dont owe any explanation,as to why we behave a certain way or
why we react a certain way to situations.As long as we abide by the laws of the state and make choices which do not affect others,our actions/reactions cannot be judged.But we land up in situations,where our life becomes the focus and also what we are becomes a fact.
Facts are laws which do not change over time.As humans we vary our desires,ambitions and our lives every day.So when our lives are viewed as a fact...as a done deal,we feel threatened.I have recently realized that we feel hurt,only when we truly believe what others say.If you brush it off and let go of our defenses,it does not effect you.But as easy as it sounds,its very difficult to implement.I could never be impassive to any one's comments.But the only solution I found was to deal head on.I directly question the intention of the person who is assaulting me.Its embrassing the first few seconds,as the person is in shock.Honesty is scary to people who want to make you feel inferior.I have tried it in few situations...it helped me reduce the amount of logic and lies I use in counteracting judgements.