Friday, March 28, 2008

The path to God

Initially when religion was introduced to me as a kid,it was more like an business deal.I say some Sloka/mantra, for a particular number of times and my desires could be fulfilled.I followed it faithfully for a large part of my life.I was always afraid of some bad deals from God if I messed up any part of the mantra.As a kid I have prayed sometimes whole nights so that I would be in the good books of the Gods.I targeted few Gods and by-hearted few easy and powerful mantras and was a contended customer.At the same time when I was going through the devotional phase I used to be moved by the plight of beggars at the temple doorstep.To me entering a temple was like entering a court of justice.I calculated the bribes I wanted to offer God and decided what I would receive in return.But as I was reaching the age of 15 I started questioning the motives which lay behind my devotion.My faith on God was as long as God could fulfill the desires I had.This over dependence on God was always there.Even though I used to be interested in Buddhism and read other religious theories..my dependence was like a addiction.I ran towards it every time I had a problem.The time was getting ripe for me to leave all these transactions.So when out of sheer accident,I visited a temple, when I was 18 ...I pleaded God to pass me in one of the exams.I decided that if that would happen I would chant something umpteen number of times.I passed that exam but I never chanted.My relationship with this Godfather kind of God started getting sour.I could not deny the fact that God was not helping the billions who were suffering.Slowly I started to discover a new kind of God.This God never asked for holy chants or bribes.Never wanted me to visit "expensive " temples.This God only helped me see myself the way I am.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

"...This God only helped me see myself the way I am."

-- guru sakshat param brahma ... tasmai shri gurave namah...

who shows the way to understanding the ultimate reality? the ultimate the ultimate reality itself is that teacher... it itself will lead you to itself.

Samhita said...

An aerial-view view –
Religion & society are two different things. Religion is a stimulus but society will have its own impulse response and that which varies!

I never visited temples eagerly nor prayed for god for any favors since childhood.
But I have started to do it now!
I admitted my mother to hospital as her insulin level plunged high and had a severe wound on her leg that could turn to gangrene. It was a situation where the doctor was talking about removing a portion if septic continues; I had only one option- God. I prayed. I am continuing to pray. She is slowly recovering.

anyway- your thought is on a larger footprint.

astrocrazy2005 said...

Samhita,
I hope ur mother recovers soon...
take care

sankalp said...

nice name ... Samhita

bt what does it mean..? i know only about 'acharsamhita'.