Sunday, March 02, 2008

Can Men and Women Be Friends?

I was having a debate with one of my friends(guy)as to the possibility of friendship between men and women.

From my perspective it is possible for men and women to be friends.If I was interested in a guy in any other way I wont pretend to be friends with him in the first place.To me being honest with myself is very important.All the books/spiritual techniques ...everything goes down the drain when we ourselves have no idea of defining what a relationship is and what are the limitations we place upon them.Personally I feel I have the necessary discipline to remain with my own ideals/beliefs.But the possibility of the other person not being so inclined and having other agendas besides friendship always exits.But then again whenever I have had a platonic friendship I have made it clear to the guy that I just want to be Friends.I have no intention to increase the bounds of the friendship.

I remember a small instance from the life of the philosopher UG Krishnanmurti(paraphrased)

There was once a woman who had entered the room and sat in front of UG.She was staring at him and had different interests other than philosophy.There was no exchange of words between UG and the lady.When she was leaving UG just told her the following words
"I know you are attracted to me ..but let me guarantee you,that nothing is going to happen.You are wasting your time,I have enough discipline in me which is enough for both of us.


That is the attitude which actually can foster a successful friendship between men and women.As a person we need to have discipline and clear set goals.If that is not possible then the friendship should not be continued.The problem in a friendship between men and women is not lust but dishonesty and absence of integrity.

A good article from pyschology today
http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20010901-000031.html

3 comments:

Samhita said...

phew!
Friendship- by very own meaning has nothing to do with gender. Friendship is so universal that even animals or plants can be our friends.

I feel the sense is more pure when we are young. Grown up mind is distorted with agendas/motives etc. of whatever kind.

honesty! & integrity!
I am always clear about what I see in the opposite person and tell the same. I like girl with brain and who can be teddy & cuddly. Sometimes few things are superset of friendship..

Destination Infinity said...

A man and a woman can be good friends as long as they dont look attractive.

Destination Infinity.

PKSE said...

preethee this is like a convent style..and against natural development..we dont know what will happen in the next moment..there are countless evidence where discipline encounterd with biological..natural process and surrender to that..and it is very clear in your poem also..when the impermanence of nature follow..our spirits will rise so high and divisions will become invisible and ...all plans will chalked out to make life,more pleasurable"
so i think whatever the convental..artificial.. behavioural passion we exhibit against the very natural..suddenly all that will break and we realise the strength of sleeping natural passion...
regards
shajipk24@yahoo.co.in