Counterfeit

I come across people sometimes who have different masks which they wear for different arenas of their lives..They change their tone and appearance for the occasion and hide their real self ..Internet can allow you to believe sometimes what you are not..I have known so many people personally!!! when they are online giving their precious words of wisdom through the online/blog sources they contradict their true selves...There are layers of deception which people sometimes carry through..A mordern thought process is achieved by trying to follow the latest clothing or buying a cool car/eating at a posh restaurant or behaving in a new way which would put actors to shame..I have always appreciated people who are straight forward and deterimined.Virtual loads of love cant replace the real piece of emotion which beats in your heart.Ultimately your own fakeness destroys your life and the illusion is broken and you fall down...May be sometimes we should let time be the task master and let the guilty pay the price for the crime committed..

Self gratitude

I can hardly see the road I am walking on..Everything is so blurred..I feel dizzy and I think I am going to faint..This is not something new but I have been going through these self inflicted pain for a long time.I continously starve myself for long periods of time.This was few years back..when I had very low levels of self esteem and confidence.

Mostly when ever anyone of my friends has any problems or issues with their confidence..I used to be the first person to pull them out of the depths of hurt.
But I could never help myself.I could never talk myself out of the sadness.I thought I never deserved a second chance in life.I wanted life to give me all the difficulties it could give because I just gave up.
This would have been a losers attitude.But I sometimes I feel we just cant help ourselves..I used to fall sick most of the time because I did not want to deal with the unhappy situations.But I think the most important factor which
pulled me through these tough situations was forgiveness.Trying to forgive other people is actually very easy.But trying to forgive yourself is a gigantic task.
Mostly humans in these conditions develop a masochistic attitude..Even I went through that phase when I started enjoy pain..Human psychology is such that
pleasurable condition can never be changed easily.It takes a little more effort to give up the present happiness for the future dividends..

Meditation -Part 2

Caution:This post about mediatation is... my view on it.....It can vary from what others experience..From the past 7 years I have been trying to mediatate on and off..This article is born out of my own thinking !!!

It requires persistance...Meditation is not just some practice where you drown in silence.Its a battle with yourself.The first stage of meditation is trying to concentrate your mind on nothing.When you first start off its a daily struggle trying to concentrate on darkness or some rhythmic sound which is soothing.I dont think meditation is some kind of miracle science which can solve your life problems...but it is one of the ways of looking directly at problems.In most cases when humans encounter complex problems which are emotionally very tiresome e try to find ways to escape it.Meditation places your mind in the middle of chaos.We need to solve all our difficult issues to be at peace with ourself.Our conscience slowly comes to life and starts pricking up with questions.Meditation slowly makes us a way to heal.I have always mediatated continously for a month then I would land in one of the problems I was trying to run away.Meditation has helped me grow ..Sometimes I was not mentally ready to face a situation but I pushed myself to solve it and I landed in a dead end..I feel evolution cant be a process of fast recovery.But then again I had the ability to solve it some time later.May be its wisdom and our own self knowledge which drives us to be better humans beings..

Meditation is a map..a path...not a destination..We need to walk through to reach the goal...

As I scream loudly and hear the echos travelling the bygone lanes .A part of me emerges which I have never seen..This existed from when I was born.In shadows it travelled with me everywhere.It coloured the every white thought I did with honest intentions.I wonder from where the roots of my desire spring up.My unwanted qulaities demand justice.My laziness,my greed,my selfishess and my lies tell me they want justice..How can I ignore when they are present?How do I suggest my greatness when they are there..To close my eyes and accept they dont exist doesnt work any more!!!
Where do I throw my wasted self...Where do I go to forget the cruel past?

To kill desire ..experience it..When the desire leaves then there is no control..Like tamed beasts the hate resides near good..Like the shadow it exists beside dark.I see the dichotomy of life everywhere..But I choose to see the light and not the dark..

A four legged freind

As I lay on this square bed facing the wall
Why dont you come beside me and have a chat
I may not live forver in this world
But through my veins the blood which runs red
Have been bonding us through the ages
Dont get scared as the mania may never touch you
Every part of my body screams in pain
But it will be kind of you if come and talk to me again
I promise I will keep the tears in my sunken eyes
I shall never let the sadness run close to you
I am a part of you ..a divine child..
I have soul and a body which is falling apart
the four legged bed my best friend
You stay with me till my very end
The music is lost and the dance is going to stop
Oh...holy light pull me stronger towards you today
I feel like leaving my body
I dont want to feel this strange pain
When humans falter and burn you down
When they crush your heart with their cruel rules
Oh four legged saviour take me far away ..
To a world of dreams and eternal peace
My body is falling apart and still I have a soul
I am born out of your blood...you dont have to be so cold

Inner Wars

Sometimes as a ego trapped kid ..I use to feel winning was everything..I was constantly at battle with everyone who was better than me .I wanted to have the victories which no one ever had!!!Even now I think winning is everything ..But winning with your self is the greatest joy..It may sound cliched and might have been told a million times before.But the time when the competition form outside stops and we start sharing our knowledge,money and our service with others..there is a other battle which starts with our negativity,with our mind and with our pleasures..Self discipline even though it looks like the army word ...
which scares me most of the time..
I call myself free spirit..
I will tell you that it is the one thing which leads you to success..

As Steven Covey says in his book,If there is a yes printed inside your heart ...then nothing in the world can stop you ...You just need to know for what you should say yes..

Orange Bloom

As I sit and gaze at the beauty spread in front of me
I try to catch the fleeting moments tightly in my fingers
I know that there may never be a another day
Which would be as beautiful as today?
The love of calmness and peace surrounding me
The old bench on which we sat for a hour
The seconds which felt like total eternity
The dream getting converted to reality
For a minute a rising panic runs through my body
I feel scared that may be I would never have this happiness again
I sit there and sweat out my fear and agony
A slight half smile I see on your face
This beautiful world has given me a precious treasure
Life has let me taste the sweetest thing
Now as I sit in loneliness everyday
The memory weaves a web which tangles me and gives me company
I may never know whether I could see once again a heaven on earth
I may never have the trouble of letting go
The beautiful sunset has been etched in my heart
Nothing in this world can take that away

Last post ..Post 48 ..7.32 AM

I thank all my sponsors who generously contributed for my blog...

1.Admirer
2.Naresh
3.Pradeep
4.Sundar
5.Velval
6.Anonymous
7.Anonymous
8.Nitish
9.Bindu
10.Kanthi
11.Clarissa
12.Ravi

Whats the worst that could happen post no 47 7.17 AM

I used to mess up my examinations because of my nervousness.My mind used to go blank ..One of the ways which I used to use to reduce the stress is

When ever I am in a situation which is very important and which can make a nervous wreck I think of one thing - Whether I can handle the situation if everything goes wrong.If the failure doesn't cause he end of the world ..then it is something which you should not be worried about.Thinking of the big picture always gives us a better view of your life.

Those few words post no:46 6.47 AM

There are few words which get imprinted in our minds from various staes of life.The comments or compliments given by the teachers mostly stay the longest in our heads.We play it over and over in my head and it enters into our sub conscious.These statements play with our self esteem and self worth.Phobias which enter our mind ..enter when we are kids ..We are vulnerable and we accept it as the truth.A reasonable expectation of our own capabilities gives us a healthy outlook on our lives.As we challenge our fears slowly they lose the power they have on us...

Misconceptions post no: 45 6.13AM

There are so many instances in life when both sides of the arguments looks right.Both of the arguments lead to the truth..only perceptions are different.The view may be different from different points.Life seems to offer so much when we give up our narrow minded thinking.Life is far more bigger than a argument.It is better to solve a fight rather than develop an ulcer in our body out of the hatred.When you are angry it is like throwing a hot rod on your enemy.But when you throw the rod you burn your hands first.

Simplicity Post No 44 5.34 AM

Most of the problems of the world can be solved by using easy solutions rather than complicated answers.Trying to be simple reduces all the distractions and we can concentrate on things which give us meaning..
Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires.
- Lao-Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Making the simple complicated is commonplace;
making the complicated simple,
awesomely simple, that's creativity.
- Charles Mingus

Be Yourself Post no:43 5.27 AM

Many times in our life we have to wear many masks all through our life.But when we go through different situations we have to change from one mask to another.But it is easier if the inner self synchronizes with the outer self.There will be no complications or confusions.We would follow a path and face its consquences..We wont change for each and everybody we meet but only change when its worth it..True inner change cant be brought about by somone else it comes from within you.

A Letter To A Dying Man Post No 42 4.41 AM

Bassui wrote the following letter to one of his disciples who was about to die:

"The essence of your mind is not born, so it will never die. It is not an existance, which is perishable. It is not an emptiness, which is a mere void. It has neither color nor form. It enjoys no pleasures and suffers no pains.

"I know you are very ill. Like a good Zen student, you are facing that sickness squarely. You may not know exactly who is suffering, but question yourself: What is the essence of this mind? Think only of this. You will need no more. Covet nothing. Your end which is endless is as a snowflake dissolving in the pure air."

This is a story taken from www.101zenstories.com

Solitude 4.22 AM Post No:41

It takes only 15 minutes of time..
It helps to quieten your mind..To relieve the stresses and the obessive thought patterns which we create for ourselves.It helps you make small decisions of your life..These small acts are the ones which create our destiny..

Thankful For....Post No:40 3.38 AM

As a teenager I always used to hate failure..I used to have loads of ego which used to make me difficult to accept bad knocks of life..But looking back at my life I am most thankful for my failures.It taught me to be humble and to be nice to people.The pride and ego took a back seat .The first thing now I notice about people is the human ness and not the achivement list.What ever a person achieves is important but that is just a part of life not the whole

People who are afraid to fail can never experience the joys of success..
Pete Zafra

Foundations ..39 post 3.25 Am

Humans are interdependent species.We can most of the times..not survive without dependency on some idealogy or other.The few of the important foundations which people live their lives are:
1.Religious idealogy
2.Spouse dependency/children dependency
3.Freind dependency/Relative dependency
4.Core Principles

Few of the roles are organised for making our life better.They are based on human interactions which are fickle and based on the circumstances of the life.The dependency on principle is not always practical in the modern world.Religious idealogy provides us limitations which never gives a chance to open our mind and our hearts.This makes more sense for people who follow one faith and are not open to other faiths.
Each of the dependency attaches us in a way which may give us a lot of pain in the future.But to depend upon nothing and arrive at something more special and enlightening is a courageous path which is mostly followed by the enlightened being.

Gold cant be strong on its own .. even though copper is cheaper ..it is added to gold ..Even though it is cheaper..

Singularity and god July 30 ..2.38 AM post 38

As the star force is drained out.The star's energy acts inward and a strong gravitaional field acts inwards and a strong force of gravity pushes everything inside.It forma a massive mass and then explodes .The first big bang takes palce.The edge of a black hole is a place where the time stands still.Everything which is lost is gone..The information,planets,stars,humans all disappear into the vastness of the black hole.When the hugeness of the black hole is considered and when time stands still where is the divinity??Why is it so difficult for us to know the edges of the universe..Why the secrecy and why the mystery ..??The universe is expanding along sides ..where is it going to lead us ..It is sometime scary and sometimes wonderful to know that a human mind can gather so much information and make sense and still not go totally mad...

Contradiction post 37 2.22 PM

In the land of the relative to search for the absolute
To search for a whole from a part
The belief which stems from the roots of our mind
To be represented as something form the heart
To be from one source and still discriminate
The images of creation at the outside
and the divine in the inner sanctum
The silence of mediataion and the
confusion of priestly hyms..
Air, water,fire and earth mix in various proportions
The various forms which exist spring out the very core
They react and destroy at the same moment
In the land of contradictions the pure mixes with the unpure
they spring out of the same light ....and enter into darkness

Dance of Creation 2.00AM Post 36

The destruction and creation of life exists
At the beats of music the dance starts
The death of ignorance under the legs of the artist
The ever gleaming ganges flowing through the creator
The half moon shining towards the creator
The duality of white and black
The throat filled with poison
the day starting and ending on the other side of the face
The balance of matter anad antimatter
the action of creation and destruction
Balance is what which is obtained
when the force meets with the creator..
These definitions of vagueness
The influence of ignorance
The enlightment of the soul
All available in one being ..
Time being the crown of the omniscent one
All being flow into and out of it
Dance it is all ..which make sit come true
our universe ,me and you...