There is this strange alone-ness which each of us possess .Our deepest self knows that.We suffer so much trying to connect to others .But the world does not understand..The world does not perceive..
The silence in the continuous melody
The moment of failure
The ectasy of joy
The instrument can never play the music
It watches as the sound flows...
This moment defines your life your the observer ...
You make illusions ...
You create ..
You forget..
You weep at fate
But you are the one who made this eternal world..
The voice never dies..
You are here and will always exist...
Oh lordy, trouble so hard
Oh lordy, trouble so hard
Don't nobody know my troubles but God
Don't nobody know my troubles but God
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivtKcM1DGeY
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Saturday, March 17, 2007
Part 2 :The Others
This post is mostly concerned about others..literally..I have been cheated so many times .....I had to think why this was happening to me again and again...My friends for whom I wasted my time,energy and above all my trust and love have given me only grief ,sadness and suffering.Few of them have even cheated of the little money I had earned staying on my own.
For example:
The laptop I had bought ,was sold to me by one of my friends.(for 800$) Few months later I found out that even that was stolen from a shop.There were many other instances which happened which kept my mind busy and no day went without someone or other troubling the hell out of me.The most difficult part for me to understand that I never cheated them..I was always careful that I don't do something which may hurt anyone or do something which will kill my conscience and I lose sleep in the nights.Last one year was a major year for me because I realised that it was my own fault that I could never make good decisions.I could never analyse a person(only analyse not judge).Everyone I used to meet I used to colour them according to what I feel the person should be.If they were educated or knowledgeable I used to feel that they had impeccable character and high values.I was so caught up in my own imaginations about the goodness of everyone that when ever I used to see a tiny fault I used to just sweep it away.I never thought about it .Never questioned it. The imagination of building up a person in my mind clouded their real self .The "other" in this case is the imagination of a being who doesn't exist.This projection of mind distorted the reality of existence.
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Creating a vaccum
Is it difficult to live your life expecting nothing???
When ever we have a difficult time with work or in general our life we tend to analyse it.We interrogate ourselves until we have worn ourselves out.People will tell you to take some time off.We leave the place.Place a identity of a tourist on yourself,barge your self into new place, new roads,new destination.But it is the same you.Sometimes we feel that only we when we give up the relentless need for knowing definite answers we reach a conclusion.The feelings,the emotions still exist.You cannot forget the past .You feel if only you had a pill like in matrix to know whether we exist like nameless numbers without any sense of existence.Can we erase some parts of us.We leave old habits and then we form new habits.Does nothing exist?
But I have always found that when we feel out of control and you feel helpless and when you can only control your response that is the real test of life.You don't wait and plan for tomorrow.You live in a vaccum where even your body does not give you company.Your mind is tired,body is stressed with anxiety and pain then you can clearly feel a part of you still is residing which does exist.The despair or total happiness in any situation shows you a part which does not belong to your identity as a machine with a mind and body.These moments are valuable and when life pushes this on everyone we need to just wait and listen .
When ever we have a difficult time with work or in general our life we tend to analyse it.We interrogate ourselves until we have worn ourselves out.People will tell you to take some time off.We leave the place.Place a identity of a tourist on yourself,barge your self into new place, new roads,new destination.But it is the same you.Sometimes we feel that only we when we give up the relentless need for knowing definite answers we reach a conclusion.The feelings,the emotions still exist.You cannot forget the past .You feel if only you had a pill like in matrix to know whether we exist like nameless numbers without any sense of existence.Can we erase some parts of us.We leave old habits and then we form new habits.Does nothing exist?
But I have always found that when we feel out of control and you feel helpless and when you can only control your response that is the real test of life.You don't wait and plan for tomorrow.You live in a vaccum where even your body does not give you company.Your mind is tired,body is stressed with anxiety and pain then you can clearly feel a part of you still is residing which does exist.The despair or total happiness in any situation shows you a part which does not belong to your identity as a machine with a mind and body.These moments are valuable and when life pushes this on everyone we need to just wait and listen .
Thursday, March 01, 2007
Noise
Is it possible to reduce the disturbance in our heads..
Does silence exist for ever...
Even the most enlightened beings would tell you that it is impossible to exist in bliss forever.Even if you leave all attachments and leave to Himalayas...
You will have noise...You struggles will come from within you..the external ones have disappeared....the internal struggle will start....
But how long do we continue this process of learning .
Is there a end??
Is death the end??
May be the answer lies in realization of the fact that disturbance is the natural state.Hunger,suffering,disease,doubts are common in this world..we can never escape them..We can always scale them down.Instead of suffering for mundane issues of life(like not having the latest brands of clothes) we suffer for humanity.We suffer when we see thousands die in useless wars ..we suffer when our neighbours die in hunger and in our minds we are happy...This suffering teaches us that we belong to bigger family.It allows us to take action, manifest our greatness and realize our own divinity.
Enlightement is the falling of the leaf
It happens for a second
You weep for the silence
Your heart drowns in joy
But it is gone
Just as it came
For a second lasts for an eternity
And infinity cannot be measured by a second...
Does silence exist for ever...
Even the most enlightened beings would tell you that it is impossible to exist in bliss forever.Even if you leave all attachments and leave to Himalayas...
You will have noise...You struggles will come from within you..the external ones have disappeared....the internal struggle will start....
But how long do we continue this process of learning .
Is there a end??
Is death the end??
May be the answer lies in realization of the fact that disturbance is the natural state.Hunger,suffering,disease,doubts are common in this world..we can never escape them..We can always scale them down.Instead of suffering for mundane issues of life(like not having the latest brands of clothes) we suffer for humanity.We suffer when we see thousands die in useless wars ..we suffer when our neighbours die in hunger and in our minds we are happy...This suffering teaches us that we belong to bigger family.It allows us to take action, manifest our greatness and realize our own divinity.
Enlightement is the falling of the leaf
It happens for a second
You weep for the silence
Your heart drowns in joy
But it is gone
Just as it came
For a second lasts for an eternity
And infinity cannot be measured by a second...
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Self and Society..
The conception of self and society
All my life I have been mesmerized by western music.I have lived in the traditional joint family for all my life.Only a year back I separated and started living on my own.The western music symbolized rebellion and individual expression. To me the self was sacred, the expression of it my birth right.
In a family which has(too many people)your self is a mixture of many souls. You get connected to this large unit where there are collective goals and collective laws. Let me draw a analogy and say something in terms to the country or state. As a single entity you are taught from a young age to think about your own ideas and goals. Our school system sees that we develop a plan for the future. We struggle to stand on our own feet in this process we topple many of the others down through the process of competition. Darwin would have winked and told you that this is the proof for "survival of the fittest" theory. Once we develop this selfishess..self -enlightment techniques we soak ourselves in our own greatness.This is a important transition phase for human beings.Because without developing a proper identity and definition for our own selves we suffer in constant confusion .The realm of higher consciousness kicks in when we realize the uncertainty associated with our lives.As humans our family becomes an integral part and we take it for granted.Our leap into the pool of enlightment comes in when we learn that we are a part of the whole.To become one we need to expand our family.Then the patriotism and jingoism/fundamentalism of religion and country sets in.Starting from the usual screams that we use to boo down opponent countries in sports to the hatred we show towards other religions and races it is a higher plane ...but not that tall that it teaches us compassion.The German holocaust is a clear example this kind of evolution.
To really understand the meaning of society we need to have humanitarian intellect which is lacked by many in the world. The reason for wars in most of the countries is a clear signal for this kind of deficiency. To me society encompasses all living beings. We need to develop compassion and respect to all the living creatures in this world. Humans are a speck in this humungous universe/multiverse.....The speck is noticeable but still it is only a speck..
All my life I have been mesmerized by western music.I have lived in the traditional joint family for all my life.Only a year back I separated and started living on my own.The western music symbolized rebellion and individual expression. To me the self was sacred, the expression of it my birth right.
In a family which has(too many people)your self is a mixture of many souls. You get connected to this large unit where there are collective goals and collective laws. Let me draw a analogy and say something in terms to the country or state. As a single entity you are taught from a young age to think about your own ideas and goals. Our school system sees that we develop a plan for the future. We struggle to stand on our own feet in this process we topple many of the others down through the process of competition. Darwin would have winked and told you that this is the proof for "survival of the fittest" theory. Once we develop this selfishess..self -enlightment techniques we soak ourselves in our own greatness.This is a important transition phase for human beings.Because without developing a proper identity and definition for our own selves we suffer in constant confusion .The realm of higher consciousness kicks in when we realize the uncertainty associated with our lives.As humans our family becomes an integral part and we take it for granted.Our leap into the pool of enlightment comes in when we learn that we are a part of the whole.To become one we need to expand our family.Then the patriotism and jingoism/fundamentalism of religion and country sets in.Starting from the usual screams that we use to boo down opponent countries in sports to the hatred we show towards other religions and races it is a higher plane ...but not that tall that it teaches us compassion.The German holocaust is a clear example this kind of evolution.
To really understand the meaning of society we need to have humanitarian intellect which is lacked by many in the world. The reason for wars in most of the countries is a clear signal for this kind of deficiency. To me society encompasses all living beings. We need to develop compassion and respect to all the living creatures in this world. Humans are a speck in this humungous universe/multiverse.....The speck is noticeable but still it is only a speck..
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Glimpses of Paradise
These are the pictures taken in Kolkatta,at the Parivaar Ashram.It was a beautiful morning,6AM ...The rays entering through the leaves...
Sunday, February 18, 2007
A note from the past
I found one of own old journals lying in the corner of my room.I write a journal to vent my feelings out.I write because at that moment my mind flows out all the words in a flow that I immerse myself in my being..
20-6-2003
In the 20 years of life I have lived,I have filled up the pages of too many journals.The moment I turned 20 I started having serious thoughts about my life and I wanted to live my life the way I always dream't of.The pain and sorrow is worth it because of the insight it brought into the life.I will try to appreciate and be happy with what I have been provided with.My life has taught me to be tolerant towards others .Change is the only thing which teaches us everything.Sometimes I used to feel that life has nothing more to offer and that was the time when life gave me infinite possblities.It is when we limit our lives from doing things and trying to break boundaries which we shouldn't have in the first place , life turns into something else.The code for the diary is to write from the heart and have no preconcieved notions of life.Experiences written here should be honest so that they can help me in the future (if I ever turn back and read it).I wish this diary could be a journey into a life and lead to self discovery and to attain a more spirutual insight into my life.
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Surface of dust...
This was one of the funny incidents which happened few months back in the astronomy lab .(where I teach)
The labs I have to teach are always in the night(8PM-11PM).So as I was setting up the telescope for the day's observations, the students were just overwhelmed by the feeling of handling the telescope.There were nervous gossips ,biographical instances which were passed along,a laugh ,a complaint ...chaos..simple chaos..
The beautiful solitude under the stars have turned into a discordant noise.I was losing my patience,the nerves on my forehead were throbbing with irritation and I was not able to concentrate on setting up the focus for observing the peaks on the moon.I saw a cracked surface and sighed a heavy sense of relief.The students started looking at the object with constant suprise and awe.There was this boy who kept a intriguing look and told me that what I have focussed on is not the moon.It may be a crack at the eye piece.I got angry at my fault and at the same time I laughed at my foolishness.
What is an eye piece?
An eyepiece brings all the light rays gathered by the telescope into sharp focus. The eyepiece determines the magnification of the image as well as its brightness and contrast
There are various sizes which are used..25mm,12.5mm,40mm,7mm..
It happens so many times in our life.. due to the confusion and suffering that life offers we see,everything through a sense of negative ideaology.We feel there is no hope in the world.The world wants us to be punished and we burden ourselves with guilt.Only if we could look through with the eyes of hope and self belief we see the beautiful dreams ,the various sparks of divinity we are blessed with.
The labs I have to teach are always in the night(8PM-11PM).So as I was setting up the telescope for the day's observations, the students were just overwhelmed by the feeling of handling the telescope.There were nervous gossips ,biographical instances which were passed along,a laugh ,a complaint ...chaos..simple chaos..
The beautiful solitude under the stars have turned into a discordant noise.I was losing my patience,the nerves on my forehead were throbbing with irritation and I was not able to concentrate on setting up the focus for observing the peaks on the moon.I saw a cracked surface and sighed a heavy sense of relief.The students started looking at the object with constant suprise and awe.There was this boy who kept a intriguing look and told me that what I have focussed on is not the moon.It may be a crack at the eye piece.I got angry at my fault and at the same time I laughed at my foolishness.
What is an eye piece?
An eyepiece brings all the light rays gathered by the telescope into sharp focus. The eyepiece determines the magnification of the image as well as its brightness and contrast
There are various sizes which are used..25mm,12.5mm,40mm,7mm..
It happens so many times in our life.. due to the confusion and suffering that life offers we see,everything through a sense of negative ideaology.We feel there is no hope in the world.The world wants us to be punished and we burden ourselves with guilt.Only if we could look through with the eyes of hope and self belief we see the beautiful dreams ,the various sparks of divinity we are blessed with.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
The other
Caution:This article mostly deals with the Indian life.The thoughts are motivated solely on my experience of life
"The other"
I had found this metaphor in Paul Coelho's book.(By the river Piedra I sat and wept)
It gave rise to an interesting analysis of what people normally do to fulfill society needs.
Most of the time .Many of us take up stable professions (engineer/doctor)because we are told by someone or other that it can provide you a comfortable job to push on with life.Many couples have kids because they are fulfilling the scheme given by their parents .Many more get married because the society feels that you need a companion to take care of your needs.(mostly in old age or if you stricken with some terrifying disease)
If you are a girl it becomes mandatory that you get married ,as you are a helpless individual who cannot live by society standards.
But I shake in terror for those people who fulfill these roles and start acting in this play and realize half way that they can change their life.That they can have other professions and may have other goals that they want to strive for.
Life becomes a curse...for them.Sex(addiction),drugs and alcohol become their support system.
I have found so many roles that I personally played and I may be still playing ...and I am yet to get of this trap and start to focus on a life which is more complete and which is totally ...Mine...
The other is the curse of fame
Ideas which are generated in them
Which get injected into me
I can never walk alone
Because of this constant nosie everywhere around me
I wish I could disappear from this constant commotion
But it exists deep within me
I need to kill a part of me
I need not cry for its death
My tears become my repentance..
The strings which hold me
I hope to strangle the other with them
The birth of hate within me
I am turning into them....
"The other"
I had found this metaphor in Paul Coelho's book.(By the river Piedra I sat and wept)
It gave rise to an interesting analysis of what people normally do to fulfill society needs.
Most of the time .Many of us take up stable professions (engineer/doctor)because we are told by someone or other that it can provide you a comfortable job to push on with life.Many couples have kids because they are fulfilling the scheme given by their parents .Many more get married because the society feels that you need a companion to take care of your needs.(mostly in old age or if you stricken with some terrifying disease)
If you are a girl it becomes mandatory that you get married ,as you are a helpless individual who cannot live by society standards.
But I shake in terror for those people who fulfill these roles and start acting in this play and realize half way that they can change their life.That they can have other professions and may have other goals that they want to strive for.
Life becomes a curse...for them.Sex(addiction),drugs and alcohol become their support system.
I have found so many roles that I personally played and I may be still playing ...and I am yet to get of this trap and start to focus on a life which is more complete and which is totally ...Mine...
The other is the curse of fame
Ideas which are generated in them
Which get injected into me
I can never walk alone
Because of this constant nosie everywhere around me
I wish I could disappear from this constant commotion
But it exists deep within me
I need to kill a part of me
I need not cry for its death
My tears become my repentance..
The strings which hold me
I hope to strangle the other with them
The birth of hate within me
I am turning into them....
Friday, February 09, 2007
Higher goals of love
I have never seen a flower which stopped blooming because no one looked at it.
I never saw the sunset not revealing its beauty because there was no one to soak up its glamour.
The clouds and the winds give me their gifts everyday ..sometimes I forget to take a look at them..But next day they are again on my way giving me comapany...
Our natural state of existence is of joy and love.We were created in the same way flowers,clouds and other magnificent things of nature.Then why did we not learn this basic fundamental truth about love .The highs and lows of passion are the illusions created by our fickle mind.There is only a constant compassion which can exist in our heart towards whom we love or hate.
When the Buddha teaches others
he does so out of compassion,
because the Tathagata is wholly freed
from both favour and aversion.
I never saw the sunset not revealing its beauty because there was no one to soak up its glamour.
The clouds and the winds give me their gifts everyday ..sometimes I forget to take a look at them..But next day they are again on my way giving me comapany...
Our natural state of existence is of joy and love.We were created in the same way flowers,clouds and other magnificent things of nature.Then why did we not learn this basic fundamental truth about love .The highs and lows of passion are the illusions created by our fickle mind.There is only a constant compassion which can exist in our heart towards whom we love or hate.
When the Buddha teaches others
he does so out of compassion,
because the Tathagata is wholly freed
from both favour and aversion.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
The day I was truly happy...
Can you just smile and be happy ...try to be happy ...the words echoed through my head..two hours of meditation and 1 hour of intense yoga...the speaker gave us our daily homework....
Smile and be happy for a whole day.If you cannot be happy at this moment and where you are ,you can relocate where ever you want and do everything you always wanted ..but still ,your happiness will be drifting away.Happiness lies in this moment.Enjoy it ...before it passes away...
I try to smile ..I try to be happy ...I could manage it for a couple of hours and then I got irritated ..I felt as if the world was conspiring against my failing moods...
A week passes by...My eyes wander through the victorian buildings,I see sweet shops and fish everywhere,I see huge buildings and slums all over the place.I pass through narrow lanes and reach Bonogram.I see the moonlight shine through the darker waters.
I try to make sense of the complimentary existence of poverty and spirutuality.
As the day dawns, I see couple of 6 year olds trying to enter my room.The puzzled faces are amusing to look at ..I smile...
I see a small baby running by ..the only 1 year old in the premises...she turns and starts telling me the only bangla word she knows..I offer her a biscut she smiles ..I smile...
I see a flood of small kids running towards me ...they start kissing and hugging me ..I smile and I laugh...
The kids go to school...The sun shines at me...I visit the play ground where the younger kids were playing ...they start speaking bangla and I am confused ...I tell them I know only Hindi ..They laugh...I smile..
I try to eat lunch with all the kids ..they start discussing about me with everyone ...They smile ...and I smile..
In the evening few of the kids organize a performance for me...They sing Rabindra -sangeet and dance for the popular Bangla songs...I clap ...I smile...
As night dawns I play with kids and we have dinner...We share our joys...I smile...
As I bid goodbye to the City Of Joy ..It gives me the biggest gift ...It taught me to be happy ...
The organisation I had visited in Kolkata was Parivaar.(www.parivaar.org)
The kids taught me one of the most important lesson in life .These kids are rejected by society.At parivaar they are given a new home and a new life. The kids in Parivaar stand as a testimonial...for the human soul which has overcome so many obstacles.
Smile and be happy for a whole day.If you cannot be happy at this moment and where you are ,you can relocate where ever you want and do everything you always wanted ..but still ,your happiness will be drifting away.Happiness lies in this moment.Enjoy it ...before it passes away...
I try to smile ..I try to be happy ...I could manage it for a couple of hours and then I got irritated ..I felt as if the world was conspiring against my failing moods...
A week passes by...My eyes wander through the victorian buildings,I see sweet shops and fish everywhere,I see huge buildings and slums all over the place.I pass through narrow lanes and reach Bonogram.I see the moonlight shine through the darker waters.
I try to make sense of the complimentary existence of poverty and spirutuality.
As the day dawns, I see couple of 6 year olds trying to enter my room.The puzzled faces are amusing to look at ..I smile...
I see a small baby running by ..the only 1 year old in the premises...she turns and starts telling me the only bangla word she knows..I offer her a biscut she smiles ..I smile...
I see a flood of small kids running towards me ...they start kissing and hugging me ..I smile and I laugh...
The kids go to school...The sun shines at me...I visit the play ground where the younger kids were playing ...they start speaking bangla and I am confused ...I tell them I know only Hindi ..They laugh...I smile..
I try to eat lunch with all the kids ..they start discussing about me with everyone ...They smile ...and I smile..
In the evening few of the kids organize a performance for me...They sing Rabindra -sangeet and dance for the popular Bangla songs...I clap ...I smile...
As night dawns I play with kids and we have dinner...We share our joys...I smile...
As I bid goodbye to the City Of Joy ..It gives me the biggest gift ...It taught me to be happy ...
The organisation I had visited in Kolkata was Parivaar.(www.parivaar.org)
The kids taught me one of the most important lesson in life .These kids are rejected by society.At parivaar they are given a new home and a new life. The kids in Parivaar stand as a testimonial...for the human soul which has overcome so many obstacles.
Sunday, January 14, 2007
The gradual shift..
I was blinded with glowing light pushing me towards a self which was new.I resisted the urge which was increasing in my heart.I never wanted to experience anything new.I thought I could live for ever.But all of us die so many deaths in our life time.It is always so difficult to move on from childhood to adolscence and from teen years to mature adults.If it is not enough that we resist our own natural development the people around us also don't understand the importance of growing up.Many adults who in their 30's are still clutched around by their mothers who still treat them like helpless infants.The evolution of the self is never given the highest priority.The growth initially lands us in depression as we still long for the familiar old self.True maturity lies when we take the suffering but still long for new expereinces and new dreams.
Thursday, December 28, 2006
The dark ages
The dark age according to me is the age of ignorance.It can last for years and sometimes for decades.We all have a inner dark sides which creeps up once we start to understand the world and its workings.Everything which meets us leaves a part of it in us.The good,the bad and the ugly has hidden faces in our heart.We have our desires and wants creeping on us.Unless we are courageous enough to confront it ..it is going to haunt us for ever.We cannot blame anyone for our dark side.We hold on to it.We never let it heal.Fear would have been the most troublesome obstacle.But I feel each one of us has the inner intution to set ourselves free.To overcome the bonds we created .Personally I have been able to heal myself in lot of ways by doing volunteer service in hospitals.By seeing physical pain and trying to give happiness and hope to patients , I have somehow given the hope of being nice to myself.
Wednesday, December 27, 2006
Following Someone's Footsteps
I cannot accept that I have failed again.I have lost many times before and this is nothing new.Why does my mind try to distort reality when someone tells me that I lost...I know that failure is one of the greatest teachers in our lives..That it is one of the biggest rejuvenators that nature has invented...
When I slip let me not hold on so tight
That I let hope pass by
humiliation when accepted becomes a black rose
It dries and when touched burns into dust
Why does darkness blind me
Who judges me as I lay breathless
Am I the only crazy one in this sane world
Or the sane one in this crazy world
When I slip let me not hold on so tight
That I let hope pass by
humiliation when accepted becomes a black rose
It dries and when touched burns into dust
Why does darkness blind me
Who judges me as I lay breathless
Am I the only crazy one in this sane world
Or the sane one in this crazy world
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Everything Happens For A Reason..
This was one of the communities I joined in orkut.Felt the introduction was too good.So just putting it here so many more can read it and learn from it...
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away they were meant to be there...to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them and you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair, but in reflection of you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never would realize your potential, strength, will power, or heart.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, and lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all acure to test limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to know where safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet affect your life. The successes and the downfalls that you experience can create who you are and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to.
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make everything count. Appreciate everything you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.
Talk to people whom you have never talked to before and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you're a great individual and believe in yourself, no on else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it.
Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away they were meant to be there...to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them and you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.
And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair, but in reflection of you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never would realize your potential, strength, will power, or heart.
Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, and lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all acure to test limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to know where safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.
The people you meet affect your life. The successes and the downfalls that you experience can create who you are and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to.
If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make everything count. Appreciate everything you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.
Talk to people whom you have never talked to before and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you're a great individual and believe in yourself, no on else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
The meeting
With gold you adorn me
Stones block the rays of the sun
My clothes gleam the money you have spent to make me beautiful
Devotees throng at my doorstep
Wait for hours for a glimpse of my shadow
They hope that miracles stick with them
Joys come to them
Money flow from all directions
To whose side I sway
I am pulled by the wealthy and the poor
The one legged man with tears in his eyes for mercy
The woman with cancer who is dying
The rich man who bribes me with wealth
I am just a statue
I am not divine
I lay not in the stones
I reside in the ever confusing riddles of the conscious mind
Stones block the rays of the sun
My clothes gleam the money you have spent to make me beautiful
Devotees throng at my doorstep
Wait for hours for a glimpse of my shadow
They hope that miracles stick with them
Joys come to them
Money flow from all directions
To whose side I sway
I am pulled by the wealthy and the poor
The one legged man with tears in his eyes for mercy
The woman with cancer who is dying
The rich man who bribes me with wealth
I am just a statue
I am not divine
I lay not in the stones
I reside in the ever confusing riddles of the conscious mind
Following someone's footsteps
I cannot accept that I have failed again.I have lost many times before and this is nothing new.Why does my mind try to distort reality when someone tells me that I lost...I know that failure is one of the greatest teachers in our lives..That it is one of the biggest rejuvenate that nature has invented...
When I slip let me not hold on so tight
That I let hope pass by
humiliation when accepted becomes a black rose
It dries and when touched burns into dust
Why does darkness blind me
Who judges me as I lay breathless
Am I the only crazy one in this sane world
Or the sane one in this crazy world
When I slip let me not hold on so tight
That I let hope pass by
humiliation when accepted becomes a black rose
It dries and when touched burns into dust
Why does darkness blind me
Who judges me as I lay breathless
Am I the only crazy one in this sane world
Or the sane one in this crazy world
Friday, December 22, 2006
The untimely fall
Do I need to write down every single occurence of my life
Fading memories have twisted the details of the blurry past
I dont remember roads or faces
I cant remember names or suprises
The joys and sorrows have no value now
I have changed and also changed the memories somehow
The trip down memory lane is a joke to me
I find myself behaving dumb and ignorant as I can be
I cannot see how people around me accepted me then
When I was so dependent and delicate within
A small shake to the boat of life
A small gust of wind scared me
The lens I look through keeps changing as days pass by
I can see the consciousness in my mind enlarge
My heart is getting too tired of love
Because I can see it everywhere in everyone's eyes.
I can't find reasons why I analyse everything in me
May be it is due to a head injury ..
when I entered the crazy world,
banged my head on the hospital wall
recovered from the bump but not from the fall...
Fading memories have twisted the details of the blurry past
I dont remember roads or faces
I cant remember names or suprises
The joys and sorrows have no value now
I have changed and also changed the memories somehow
The trip down memory lane is a joke to me
I find myself behaving dumb and ignorant as I can be
I cannot see how people around me accepted me then
When I was so dependent and delicate within
A small shake to the boat of life
A small gust of wind scared me
The lens I look through keeps changing as days pass by
I can see the consciousness in my mind enlarge
My heart is getting too tired of love
Because I can see it everywhere in everyone's eyes.
I can't find reasons why I analyse everything in me
May be it is due to a head injury ..
when I entered the crazy world,
banged my head on the hospital wall
recovered from the bump but not from the fall...
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
So difficult...
It’s so difficult to realize that you are not what you look.
If you look good and people appreciate it..this does not give you prolonged happiness(at least for few hours)..just a high for a second...
The million commercials which they show which can enhance your life may be a lie.
The songs featuring handsome hunks and beautiful babes in reality make look fake with layers of make up ...
The camera makes reality ...Your place doesn’t exist ..You are an outsider..
Real India is not the shadow of Ekta Kapoor serials.
Most of India population stays in poverty ..They dont have desinger brands ..They don’t shop at malls...They don’t know that Mc Donald’s is a cancer that is spreading across the world.
These views come out as I try to understand India ...the real India..as I walk on the streets I try to get used to all the male chauvinistic behaviour, the stares, the comments of guys/men who can’t mind their own business. They scan me as if I am the last of the female species. They try to follow me so that they can scare me. They try to instill in me the fact that without a man you are nothing. A part of me is disgusted by what I have experienced in few days. I can't change it. I can't help it. Only thing I know is I don’t deserve this crap.As a self respecting woman I want fairness and justice. I want freedom..I want a India where I can atleast walk happily at 8PM and not get assualted/abused.I just feel sad for all the billion woman who live in villages or god forsaken places where I am sure cave men laws would work better than today’s laws which are run by brain dead men.
If you look good and people appreciate it..this does not give you prolonged happiness(at least for few hours)..just a high for a second...
The million commercials which they show which can enhance your life may be a lie.
The songs featuring handsome hunks and beautiful babes in reality make look fake with layers of make up ...
The camera makes reality ...Your place doesn’t exist ..You are an outsider..
Real India is not the shadow of Ekta Kapoor serials.
Most of India population stays in poverty ..They dont have desinger brands ..They don’t shop at malls...They don’t know that Mc Donald’s is a cancer that is spreading across the world.
These views come out as I try to understand India ...the real India..as I walk on the streets I try to get used to all the male chauvinistic behaviour, the stares, the comments of guys/men who can’t mind their own business. They scan me as if I am the last of the female species. They try to follow me so that they can scare me. They try to instill in me the fact that without a man you are nothing. A part of me is disgusted by what I have experienced in few days. I can't change it. I can't help it. Only thing I know is I don’t deserve this crap.As a self respecting woman I want fairness and justice. I want freedom..I want a India where I can atleast walk happily at 8PM and not get assualted/abused.I just feel sad for all the billion woman who live in villages or god forsaken places where I am sure cave men laws would work better than today’s laws which are run by brain dead men.
Friday, December 08, 2006
Divertions...
It is so difficult to quieten the mind.I am finding next to imposssible to dive deep into silence.Everywhere there are impulses which drive me into a confusion.Happiness,enlightment,peace...all the emotions come from within.But I have started observing lately that many of the emotions which come from me are not the product of the inner turmoil or serenity.It is induced by external factors.The music I listen to ,what I eat,what I watch all contribute to my mind set.I am not me .I am the product of millions of diversions targeted at me everyday.
May be that was one of the main reasons why saints in the ancient world used to isolate themselves.But even in isolation there are diversions.The natural calamities,hunger..all natural instincts used to divert them anyway.The possible solution for the slipping mind is oneness.It comes from awareness of our own diversions.Denial will never lead you to a path of inner wisdom.
May be that was one of the main reasons why saints in the ancient world used to isolate themselves.But even in isolation there are diversions.The natural calamities,hunger..all natural instincts used to divert them anyway.The possible solution for the slipping mind is oneness.It comes from awareness of our own diversions.Denial will never lead you to a path of inner wisdom.
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