Compromise

Most of the ills of the society are formed by the bounds of compromise.I think we all deserve the best and there should be no compromise.Most of us end up picking up careers which don't satisfy us fully,life partners who are miserable and friends who just torture us with their horrible remarks.Most of the revolutions in the world were started because people did not want to compromise to the authoritarian rule of the world.Most of us are caught up with the insecurity that if we are not happy with what we get then, may be the next time around it will be more miserable.

But we need to throw away things which destruct us.Habits which drive us crazy has to be given up to make space for new habits.Friends who waste our time with their sarcasm have to given up so that, new people who can respect us may enter.The same goes with our careers and all the other people we are going to be associated with.When we start having respect for what we truly deserve then we start changing things within us and outside us.We start taking responsibility and work towards a better world.We don't blame the government but take initiatives to make our country better.We fight corruption and poverty because we feel that we deserve a country which has equal rights and equal opportunities.

Spirutuality and dependence

If I want to give up everything and leave
Will I still have regrets???

This question was one of the questions circling my mind even when I was a teenager,when I felt an immense attraction towards saintly(monk)existence.I am alone but still I have so many identities.I belong to a nation,to a family,born into a religion,belong to my beliefs,and I belong to this planet.Where ever I run I wont cease belonging.It is conditioned from when I am born to stick to various identities.When we develop a strong identity and develop a belief system towards we give rise to conflict.It is near to impossible not to feel bad when our own belief system is questioned.The unheard truths prick more than lies.Even if I live in a forest I may start forming a identity based on my existence and then feel bad when loggers destroy every inch of my forest.
Meditation sometimes help us look at our identities in a deep way and come close to the truths about our own beliefs.

Human and God.

Human proposes and God disposes.


One of the quotations used by my mother when ever things go wrong(or things don't happen as we planned).She used to use "man" ..I am trying to be politically correct and I am using "human".

The best things which ever happen to us is that it does not happen as we plan.I hate when people ask me what are my plans for the day.I feel spontaneous-ness of our life is lost when we plan everything.But then wont life be a chaos if we miss trying to get everything done in the world in 24 hours.Even fun things get planned and get executed as if the world will get doomed if we dont have fun in the exact time.We all need a purpose to live.The purpose is defined by our principles and our beliefs.

A resolution itself gives rise to the agony of breaking the resolution(Osho)

We need adequate planning when we are getting ourselves organized with others.We also need some outlines when we need to reach a destination.

I am not against planning.I am against life which is planned

post 15

Death is like a mirror in which the true meaning of life is reflected.

The biggest problem for humanity, not only on a global level, but even for individuals, is misunderstanding.

Sogyal Rinpoche

post 15

The ink of the scholar is more sacred than the blood of the martyr.

The strong man is not the good wrestler; the strong man is only the one who controls himself when he is angry.

Do not consider any act of kindness insignificant, even meeting your brother with a cheerful face.

A man's true wealth here after is the good he does in this world to his fellow man.

Muhammad

post 14

One hour's meditation on the work of the Creator is better than seventy years of prayer.
Muhammad

post 13

The most exquisite paradox… as soon as you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power, you can't have it. The minute you don't want power, you'll have more than you ever dreamed possible.
Ram Dass

Post 12

Sometimes it can seem that every corner of our media-drenched society is sending an unmistakable message to our children and us: shed your dignity, exploit yourself and others, and you'll be on the path to glory.
Shmuley BoTeach

post 11

Love is as strong as death, as hard as hell...

Mesiter eckhart

Post no 10

To seek God by rituals is to get the ritual and lose God in the process, for he hides behind it.
Meister Eckhart

Post no 9

The spiritual life does not remove us from the world but leads us deeper into it.
Henri J. M. Nouwen

Post 8

The three creations.

According to many philosophers God was a human creation so as to rule over the world.
Religion was also made to continue the order established by the God.Throw in a hell and torture,peace ,love and heaven and we have created all the world religions.Lets add to this mixture some objections to women and now its perfect.As men rule woman get tortured.
The third worst creation which humans created is time.Once it is created its like a sin we can never repent over.We have opened the channels of anxiety,punctuality and worry.Past and future torture us for ever.

Post 7

When I was young I thought I could attain any thing
Everything was there and impossible it never seemed
I was like a king without an empire
Now that I am old
I am chained to my very illusion
That everything is out of my reach
And my empire has no king

Post 6

My loneliness is the only thing I own.
It costs me nothing
But takes away everything

Post 5

Body has always been something which we should be disgusted of.Most of the religions propagate this idea.There are also strict laws which say that a woman is a unholy body which should be kept away.Our body is the temple of the soul.Our identification based on various things assocaited with how better we are (or worser we are ) can give rise to a problem.The body itself is a wonderful machine and if taken care of can only make our lives better.

Post 4

The very fact that our own morals values makes us superior may be the cause for all the discrimination.

3 rd post

One of the most important things to do when you are trying to solve poverty is - not become a part of it.
Become the solution not the problem itself.

2nd post

In India people believe in the theory of Karma.We deserve what we truly get.On one side there is a rosy picture which gives a image of doing good deeds and enjoying the good fruits in the future.Doing bad deeds and suffer for eternity.This is not very different to the western philosophy of heaven and hell.Torture and worship somehow went hand in hand.

1post ..

What is the use of charity?
If everyone took responsiblity for their own actions then will charity exist...

Money is used as a big motivation for everything.Every thing around the world seems to revolve around that.Even charity seems to revolve around that.Money is a shortform for the service and the goods we offer the society..There are no free lunches..Why should I give away what I earned ???

The mind-soul connection

May be during some calamity or under some joyous occasion we feel so connected with our inner self.We feel one with pain/happiness that we live in the moment.But in everyday life this is very difficult to achieve until we put some effort in that direction.One of the easiest ways to achieve it is through silence.To make ourselves still is very difficult.Speaking from my personal experience as a music addict, I felt it very difficult to survive without music.
But after few days of silence,your mind accepts it ...No complaints !!!

One of the reasons for me to ban music for some time was each song with words and meanings gives rise to a emotion deep within me.This emotion got through music changes the emotions which we have without the stimulation.The same goes for movies and people who can destroy your inner stillness.I don't say that we start differentiating and go and live in an island.But when we cultivate silence for some time external factors wont affect you.You become immune.But as long as you are cultivating it sometimes it is of great help to reduce the noise in our lives.

Blogging for Charity...

This is the second year I am going to blog for charity.I have to blog a whole day ...48 posts ..one post every half an hour..The menu is going to be spirutual and philosophical posts ..
[which can induce sleep to anyone who is not interested :)]

Donations can be done through this link...
http://www.blogathon.org/list.php

From the list ..select the "hturt" blog and pledge the money which has to be donated.If I successfully blog for 24 hours on July 28 then the money should be paid directly to the charity "Freedom From Hunger" for which I am blogging.
All currencies and cash are accepted.

I hope I can make a difference...

Our own intentions

Where does kindness come from?

From our hearts or from our egoic self centeredness.Many people get into all kind of charity acts or kindness acts so that they can feel good about themselves.When we work from the egoic self our act of kindness is a selfish act which gives it an air of superiority.I have seen people do that ...at the end they become more proud instead of kind.

Lets be more cautious when we work with people who are suffering more than us.Help should come out because we are equal and there is a common divinity which flows through all of us.

Kindness gets transformed into humility through which life gives us more chances to serve and help.

The path of illusion

Once when Buddha was resting and one of his followers came to him with a clay bowl.They told him that there was a saint who could levitate the bowl.They have seen with their own eyes that the saint could keep the bowl flying in the air.Buddha took the bowl and crashed it to the ground and told them never to believe in illusion.

Follow the truth and not the illusion.

Influences

Caution
This is my personal view on movies/life.My view has been fromed by the countless number of people I have come across in Hyderabad for the 22 years of my life.The people described here are the common people you come across in Hyderabad.This post is not for the so called intellectuals who can form their own attitudes and behaviour.This post is to show the average-ness and simplistic thinking which grips the Indian society.
This is not to offend anyone ...but it is portray the society values in general.

Most of the newspapers in the world survive on page 3 and media gossip.So there is a huge chunk of people who want to know.They don't want to know the latest scientific discoveries,the good/bad things in the world...they just want to know what the actor/actress have been doing.I feel it is a kind of escapism.We want to escape our lives and live in the virtual world of stars because we think they have what we don't have.I am particularly amazed at how people form their basic belief systems from movies.There are few movies which are really admirable.Other than that most of the media portray mediocre/Average-ness

The role of women in cinema (Indian movies)is so miserable.Many(girls)form their ambitions/life goals from watching crap movies.Their personality traits ..such as voice,behaviour,attitude is defined by some movie.As I have lived in Hyderabad all my life I have seen how telugu movies effect the girls.Most of them have childish voices and they try to behave like baby-adults.I had to coin up a word because there is no word in dictionary other than mentally retarded.I don't want to insult mentally retarded people because they make more sense.(personal decision)Most of the guys use temple as a factor for impressing a girl.They may commit any number of sins...but once they go to temple (or take the girl there) all the sins are washed away.(another sequence stolen from popular telugu movies)The boy talks to the girl not in a mature way but in his talk he uses adjectives which we may use for a 3 year old baby.Innocence,childishness,fairness,and good dressing sense are the only compliments you may ever receive if you are a girl in Hyderabad.

You will rarely find girl's who actively participate in other creative pursuits.As a music addict in my 4 year's of engineering career ...lets make it 5 years(with my masters career too).I have yet to find one girl who is interested in pursuit of music through creative urge.The same thing holds good even in the fields of literature,art,history and other (unknown fields)like astronomy and astrophysics,anthropology,hiking,water rafting and so on...

I was termed as crazy by most of the people for the pursuit of my creative interest's.But after lot of talks with my Friends/classmates/city folks they told me that they never thought extra curricular activities were important(decision reached through movies).It shocks me and my heart is heavy with sadness because most of them live a virtual life guided only with movies.

The most sad incident which I can remember is this:

When one boy sexually assaulted a girl...the girl thought that ... the only necessary action she should take against such things is to scold him and make him feel guilty.He was never held accountable for his act.The boy cried ...
Many months later it was known that this guy has done to the same thing to many other girls.
So after questioning the girl for the absurd reaction to the incident she told that " Most of the movies portray that the actress should scold the villain".

Paradox

jab mein tha to hari nahi
ab hari hain to mein nahi
sab andhiyaraa mit gayaa
jab deepak dekhya mahi

- Kabir

When you exist ..God does not exist
When God exist's ..You dont exist at all...
When there is light
The darkness disappears

Even though Kabir would have never read a book on quantum physics.He arrived at the most important theory of quantum mechanics long back.

Heinsenberg theory states that velocity and position of an electron cannot be found out at the same time.

Humble-ness

Humility is defined as the absence of false pride.Personally I find it so difficult to practice it.

I am proud (false pride)of everything ...
from my uniqueness ,country,family,talents,education and the list goes on.On one side there is a struggle to become humble.This does not even come close to humility because it is a struggle and not the real deal.Forcing yourself is no more than putting a gun to your head and acting in that desperate moment.There is also a sense of how did this happen.How did I develop into a humble-less being.All my life I have been rewarded to compete,prove my superiority and be unique individual.But at fleeting moments I do realize the foolishness of my attitude.

One of the main ways in which we can actually proceed on the ways of humility is by being an instrument of service.We are just instruments through which the divine music plays.We are not the musicians.This thought process when it gets processed and etched in our very being then all our pride reduces to dust.All beings are instruments and we all have greatness in us.

I remember a story which actually portrays greatness through humility...

There was once a man who through his goodness earned a wish from an angel.But the man was scared that if he asks a huge wish then he may become arrogant and it would divert his way from the divine path.So he told the angel about his confusion.In return the angel granted him a wish...

The man's shadow can cure the ill's and diseases of the worldly people.But the man will never know about it.

To say the truth always

In Buddhism right speech was considered as one of the paths of attaining nirvana.I have always suffered in the hands of lies.I lie when it comes to assertiveness.I cannot say "no" to people when they approach me for help.If it is within the boundaries of my principles and beliefs then I help them at an expense of my time.If I have other plans then I lie to get out of the situation.I shrink away from "no".But I have realised that telling the truth frees you from acting/wearing a mask.Once we accept that we are not perfect then slowly we start telling the truth.The consequences of telling the truth is not always rosy and nice.I have at times got into more trouble telling the truth.If the other person is not honest enough and does not respect the truth it is not our problem..it is their problem.But telling the truth does not mean passing cruel judgements against people.Truth should be relative to our life and existence.I personally try to avoid discussing "truth's" about others.

Pleasure and its limits

Life is pleasure !!!

That's what most of the advertisements in the television and newspapers tell you.Few of the ways in which a customer is enticed is ridiculous.The fact is that they want a individual to buy new pair of shoes when the individual has already 5-6 pairs rotting around in the house.Satisfaction and pleasure are two different concepts.The opposite of pleasure is pain.Even after purchasing the pair of shoes after the initial euphoria has died down the individual reaches the same emptiness stage.Then may be the chances are that he/she may run behind someone else for love/friendship,will get scared of silence,go shop for other items or indulge in mindless hobbies which keeps the reality far away.The age we live in can be described as the age of marketing ...through which things can be bought to temporary fill in the void which exists.

This does not mean that we leave this world and start existing in a forest.Even then this attachment may take another level.We may depend too much on sticks and leaves and may be turn the forest into a desert.Satisfaction lies in the fact that we use what we need.We survive with minimum attachments and dependency.A miser is not a satisfied individual.A miser has the same attachment as a shopaholic.When our outer needs decrease and become more simplistic and profound we are surely progressing on the inner journey.

The existence of grace

Grace in western terms and consciousness in eastern terms is the guiding force of our life.It is said in most of the religious books that a human beings life is said to be a waste if it is not utilised to achieve the highest level i.e God -hood/Brahman/Atman/samadhi and to glimpse the ever present infinity within us.Why people run back of money and fame rather than finding their true selves.This state of grace can never be achieved by running back of it or by training for it.It is a gift.When we receive it we become humbled.

This is one of the biggest contradictions of life.The ultimate aim of human is to become God .All of us have equal opportunity to become God.The sinner and the saint have equal opportunity.

There was once a conversation between U.G.Krishnamurthy and Ramana Maharishi...

UG went to Ramana Maharishi and asked him

Whether he can give what he has?

In reply Maharishi replied..

Can you take it?

This is the problem with the whole world ...I guess.We are not ready to take it.Grace gives us a lot of things and when we receive it we are so overpowered by humbleness because our ego has no share in it.There is no victory.But a total surrender and total defeat which ultimately leads to realization.

The existence of hate

There is a very thin line between dislike and hate.I was having a small debate with one of my friend's and I suddenly discovered that what I thought was dislike towards a particular kind of person/culture was actually hate.Owing to my honesty and straight forwardness I continued with the argument supporting my dislike.I could have switched sides or may be left the conversation half way,but did not do it.Our ego's act in a strange way.When we start arguing we always want to win.I always felt that I was right.But the fact is that the other person also considered themselves as right.Logic gets mixed up with personal agenda.Our experiences combine with our statistics to form a good counter response.A mind fighting against the mind.But mind's beliefs are not permanent.Belief structures are so fragile.Until the illusions are existant and the truth is not viewed our minds control our being.Our win is also a loss because we have acted from the base of an egoic response.The truth which is actually a private endeavour can be realized by the individual themselves.Most of the discussions which are done to prove something right has something wrong built into it ...

It is duality.It exists everywhere.

May be next time we gear up to give a sound opinion lets try to find something good in the other person so that the ego does not obstruct our heart from loving.
The easiest way to win anything is to use love...not hate...

Birthday Wishes...

Every year I receive lot of wishes for my birthday. It is always the same conveying happiness and success. But this year when one of the professors came to know that it was my birthday he told me that I should be happy that I had lived one more year. I was so happy and humbled by his talk. Most of the time we take life for granted and plan of doing everything in the future. The present is the all powerful and is one of the channels for our awakening. Death is a constant reminder of the illusion we live in. Birthdays are constant reminder that the illusion is continuing.

Humans and Spirutuality

WE ARE NOT HUMAN BEINGS GOING THROUGH A
TEMPORARY SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE.

WE ARE SPIRITUAL BEINGS GOING THROUGH A TEMPORARY HUMAN EXPERIENCE.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin.

Unity in Diversity

Our awakening lies in the truth of oneness.The path to realization is the most difficult path which we as humans can ever take.It is not required that we isolate ourselves from the world or meditate day and night.We can do all spiritual practices perfectly and never attain enlightment.There are few basic questions which awaken us.The questions are based on self introspection of our basic identity.As the identifications reduce we start seeing a new self which does not depend on beliefs or thoughts.The mind can ramble but the truth will set us free.We all are already enlightened.We all are pure.Then
Why the journey?
Why the awakening?
Why the dream?
Why the illusions?
May be there is no answer because when we know it there is no need for answers.

Good references on this subject are www.adyashanti.org

The Pursuit of Adventure

We all want to do adventurous things which shoots up the adrenaline in our bodies. I also thirst for adventure and the love of nature makes it more interesting. But I sometimes wonder why is that we have to go to a far off jungle to experience this amazement. One reason is that cities are populated and natural resources are being depleted. The most obvious reason stated by Eckhart Tolle is fear of death. I fully agree with the fear of death theory. Most of the roller coasters also simulate this experience. But this experience also puts us into the present moment. Most of the time when you are on a roller coaster or doing a free fall from 100 feet your mind stops. There is complete attention to the present moment. Most of the time the past and the future dissolves. This moment which is a highly profound spiritual experience can help us look at life in a better way. But continued exposure to the same environment dulls the experience and we are again left with boredom. It is not necessary that we have to take risks in our life or climb the highest mountain to experience the power of the present moment. Once we reduce the number of identifications we use in our life and once we accept the past most of our every day moments will surely become adventurous and pleasurable.

Fear

The preconceived thought process stops us from attaining what we truly deserve to get.This thought process is called as FEAR.We suffer and we torture ourselves with hundreds of possible outcomes for a single obstacle we come across.Even a super computer cannot claculate the abrupt posssiblities we think of.But the mind is nothing but a logical device and the thought is nothing but the output we obtain.The concept of fearlessness in certain situations is quite possible.Fear can be destroyed by using few simple techniques.First we have to understand the limitness of our physical existence.In our own finiteness the fear looks even more small and ignorable.But our deep seated insecurities of life like trust,security,loyality and love can only be erased when we unconditionally give this to everyone.

Enviornment and its conditions

Are we subjected to conditioning everyday. Many will agree that the reason we behave and act in a certain way is because of conditions based on “n” number of environmental factors. Starting from the country we are born into, the parents we are born to, our educational pursuits, our freinds,our enemies,our careers,the money we have, and the list can go on forver.We never trust other people because someone cheated us.We dont share our happiness because in the past we got only pain.We hurt ourselves because we feel we don’t deserve good things in life.We sacrifice for foolish reasons.

I truly beleive that saints are not born in luxury.There is this false assumption in us that we cannot escape our own conditions.But if we study the past and trace all the greatness which was born out of suffering we will be amazed.Life has a meaning even though we suffer.The tragedies don't stop us from realizing who we are.We in our minds and hearts make up obsatcles which stop us.Victor Frankyl,Nelson Mandela,Mother teresa and many more people can be taken as examples in this regard.

If God can be found in the houses of the poorest of the poor .
If prisons and concentration camps can give you hope to live till you are 100 .
I don't know why psychologists and philosophers waste their time making theories about conditioning and impulses.

Is silence the best answer

Most of the difficult questions dont have a answer.

Why does this happen and why does'nt that happen?
Why is the world this way and not better?
Why are people so selfish?
Why do I always think about myself?
Does my life have a meaning?

So many questions and one beautiful answer silence.

Its so scary to be silent because may be you realize that answers don't matter.

Hope and Prayer

Two of the guys in my university drowned in the pool near my apartments.They were totally drunk.They were college going kids(hardly 23 yrs old).They were international students doing their masters in engineering and management.

I was shocked to hear the news.One of them is my classmate.Drinking in many of the universities is considered to be a very casual thing.No one is serious about the consquences.Sometimes small mistakes have huge consquences.I pray for their families in India and may god give them the courage and hope to withstand the pain.

Be careful when you drink.

Sometimes a drink here and a drink there can cost a life.

Lets their souls rest in peace!!!

Also posted on
http://www.helpothers.org/my/story.php?op=view&sid=1245

Aloneness is the first lesson of Love

I found this article..Felt it resonates with what I feel as one of the biggest problems of our time..


Without the other we don't know who we are, we lose our identity. The other becomes a mirror and we can see our faces in it. Without the other we are suddenly thrown to ourselves.We are greatly inconvenienced because we don't know who we are when we are alone. With the other, things are clear, defined. We know the name, we know the form, we know the person — Hindu, Christian, Indian, American — there are some ways to define the other How to define yourself?

Deep down there is an abyss... undefinable emptiness. You start merging into that. It creates fear. You become frightened. You want to rush towards the other. The other helps you to remain out. When there is nobody you are simply left with your emptiness.Nobody wants to be alone. The greatest fear in the world is to be left alone. People do a thousand and one things just not to be left alone.You imitate your neighbours so you are just like them.

You lose your individuality, you lose your uniqueness, you just become imitators, because otherwise, you will be left alone. You become part of a crowd, a church, an organisation. Somehow you want to merge with a crowd where you can feel at ease, so that you are not alone.To be alone is really the greatest miracle. That means now you don't belong to any church or organisation, you don't belong to any theology or ideology — socialist, communist, fascist, Hindu, Christian, Jain, Buddhist — you don't belong, you simply are.

And you have learnt how to love your indefinable, ineffable reality. You have come to know how to be with yourself.

Loneliness is absence of the other

Loneliness is absence of the other. Aloneness is the presence of oneself. Aloneness is very positive. It is an overflowing presence.You are so full of presence that you can fill the whole universe with your presence and there is no need for anybody.If the whole world disappears this zen master will not miss anything; he will be as happy as ever. He will love that tremendous emptiness, this pure infinity.He will not miss anything because he has arrived home. He knows that he himself is enough unto himself.

This does not mean that a man who has become enlightened and has come home does not live with others. In fact, only he is capable of being with others.Because he is capable of being with himself he becomes capable of being with others. If you are not capable of being with yourself, how can you be capable of being with others?A man who loves his aloneness is capable of love, and a man who feels loneliness is incapable of love. A man who is happy with himself is full of love, flowing.

He does not need anybody's love, hence he can give. When you are in need how can you give? You are a beggar. And when you can give, much love comes towards you.It is a natural response. The first lesson of love is to learn how to be alone. Try it, to have the feel. Just sit alone sometimes. That's what meditation is all about — just sitting alone, doing nothing.

If you start feeling lonely then there is something missing in your being, then you have not been able yet to understand who you are.Then go deeper into this loneliness until you come to a layer when suddenly loneliness transforms itself into aloneness. Loneliness is the negative aspect of aloneness.If you go deeper into it one moment is bound to come when suddenly you will start feeling the positive aspect of it. Because both aspects are always together.

Excerpted from The Discipline of Transcendence, courtesy Osho International Foundation. www.osho.com

Obstacles in Action

What happens when we become more aware of our actions.When we realize the result of our actions and try to see that we don't go against our own convictions.We begin a new battle.The battle is with our inner obstacles.The whole world gets turned inward and we realize everything we saw outside also exists in us.
I don't believe that anything can be done with hatred.To hate and to rebel it may never lead anyone towards liberation.Only acceptance may do that.Detachment may get us closer to the required result.

It took me a thousand steps to reach the cliff
I saw the peak and was scared
My own ignorance made me slip a million steps
But I did not give up
I was patient
Then one day I was there...
I was standing on the highest point ..
Then my eyes went above me
I saw a series of cliffs higher than mine
I started climbing ....

Obstacles in Realization

As always the obstacle to realization is desire.We all have desires and it may be sometimes very difficult to renounce them.The test for desire lies in permanence.Many times we desire things/goals which are impermanent. Our being can't understand the reason for this attraction,but we are attached to it.The easiest way to realize our true selves is acceptance.The acceptance of desire.This in turn reduces the amount of fuel put into the attachment and we can continue to desire things which are impermanent by nature.

Karma/service

I take a drop of water
I let it flow into the ocean
I walk towards the light
The traveller fills his sack with water
As hours passs by ,I reach for the shade
I ask the traveller for water
The drops of water runs down my throat...

Life is a paradox...

When I need it I dont get it
When I am happy without it
I get showered with it..
When I love it I dont get it
When I am bored by it it sits by my feet
When I struggle everyday to live
I dont see how precious it is
When I about to die I struggle to hold it
When I need acceptance from everyone
I never get it
When I dont give a damn what others think
They realize that I make sense
When I need someone
I am lonely
When I am happy alone
Everyone wants to be with me!!!

Play of power

Are all beings equal...
I dont know..
I keep wondering whether it is possible to exist as equals .
No hierarchy,no supremacy,no submission..
But the world I think exists only in fantasies , it is never possible .Each one of us has a ego centric self which wants importance.Its impossible to find a person without an ego .If a person can reach a state of pure consciousness and continously revel in it then everyday life would be a torture.The pain of existing in this superficial world would be next to impossible.I have myself observed in countless occasions my own drive for domination in any argument.
We continoulsy change from one moment to another..
Our emotions change,the self changes...
But when we reach a state where we can accept our own imperfections and faults we reach a higher state of realization.The love we have for ourselves and acceptance will surely get reflected towards others.The relationship we have with others will attain a value of kindness and understanding rather than the "play of power".But arguments are never wrong and I feel everyone should learn and love to disagree but respect and tolerance sholuld always be the basis for our being.
The concept of ego is so difficult to understand and it constantly varies between fact and fiction.But I dont think when we enter into the realm of spiritulaity we look for absolutes.We just look for questions and search for a valid reason.

Ego is like darkness.It is a fantasy.But if you ask yourself whether it exists then it is very good question because it shows your awareness.Ego is like darkness.You cannot remove darkness from a room.Instead of that bring a lamp it will bring light and remove darkeness.A lamp of realization will let you surrender.

Swami Nithyananda

Aimless

You walk during the day
You are lost in the night
You wonder why there exists a strange emptiness
You run because you get late
You dont know, when you are going to reach
You still continue
The journey is beautiful
The destination will surely come...

Wealth

There are three major kinds of wealth which humans generally pursue.
1.Material
2.Physical
3.Spirutual

Material wealth is highly regarded by many people.It gives identity to people and also makes them feel very good.It boosts the confidence and shoots you up on the popularity scale.You can have anything you want.Even a partner for life is selected based on this factor.If you are stink-ingly rich you wont have any problems finding million people running back of you to marry you.We spend mostly ..lets consider minimum 21 years of education so that we can have material riches for the rest of our life.They are exceptions who work ,because their job is their passion.But we are drawing a general tangent of how mostly the society thinks and behaves.Considering the various advantages there is no wonder that most of the people slog like slaves sometimes doing the work they hate so that they become rich and ignore their health.
But this wealth has the biggest disadvantage :It is temporary.Once we attain the goals set on the basis of materialism we become accustomed to the luxury.Then it is no longer a asset it becomes our basic lifestyle.Our lives become shallow..

Physical wealth is given lot of importance in this world.Our lives somehow are defined by our physical appearance.Looking through all the matrimonial advertisements in the leading Indian newspapers gives us a general idea of how much our society is run on "Fairness" and "Slimness".To add more misery,there are "Fair and Handsome"advertisements which run through our televisions.I hope atleast one human right activist watches these advertisements and start a movement which can wipe out the bias in humans which springs up due to the colour of the skin.Most of the activists are worried about skimpy clothes in movies.I dont know why they dont want to fight for the common soul on roads who get stares and comments because they are dark.I always hoped to see dark actress in movies ..but I dont think whether in my life time I can see that happen.But physical fitness is important for our life.I do believe that if we dont take care of our body,our body does not take care of us.
The mind body connection is very important.But a good body with a impure mind is of no use.

Spirutual wealth is the highest form of wealth a human can achieve.This wealth is only acquired when we give away things.We should learn to give love,kindness,compassion and forgiveness so that these qualities become our very nature.The obsctacles to our achievement of this wealth is our illusions.Our reality when it gets defined by external factors we fail to achieve this wealth.Most of the people dont think this wealth is important.Because firstly it includes suffering because we need our unhealthy old habits to die and cultivate new positive habits.
Death always causes misery because we are uncomfortable with our new self.Lets again consider the matrimonail advertisements again..They are no mention of values like honesty,integrity and kindness.Hardwork and sincerity are also left out.Our job resumes will atleast contain more data about our personality.But when it comes to choosing someone to spend our life we use money,caste and status.This is a sad reality which exists.One of my friends once saw me reading the Bhagavad Gita and she told me how her parents and her family elders have warned her and told her that this holy book should never be read.To add to the contradiction her family is very religious and they visit lot of temples.The spirtual path is the most painful journey of our life but without walking along this path we fail to do justice to life.

If

One of the best poems I have ever read..

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master,
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

Rudyard Kipling (1865-1936)

Everything is as it should be

The hands of time have never stopped moving forward
The planets have never stopped revolving
The buds still blossom even though you dont notice
The great trees which stood centuries still fall
Noise made by the great fall is never heard
The bells still toll when you make a mistake
A thousand things done right wont vanish the guilt
The silent world events happen when you dont notice
A shadow is creeping behind you as you read this
There is always a observer
You may sometimes deny that
But life works in that way
Everything is as it should be
The rivers will never wash away the dirt
The marks are always left behind
When you dont hear or notice the shadow creeps inside
The pain and screams never stop
The silence which you have may last for a minute
The illusions which you have built will collapse
In your pride you may dissolve
Nothing can change ..
and last forever

The Art of Happiness.

This post is actually about a book called "The Art of Happiness".This book is actually a conversation between the Dalai Lama and the psychologist Howard .C.Cutler.
I was a bit hesitant at first to start of with the book, because deep down inside I did not want my difficulties to be wiped away by some rituals.Faith for me is a very difficult thing to understand.I can have faith on people,myself and everything which exists.But to have faith on mythological beings is difficult …sometimes impossible.Sometimes I am also envious of people who have this deep hidden faith which tells them that "going to this place/religious "all problems will be cured.I do believe in evolving as a human and realizing the true self through contemplative practices.
But the book turned out to be a eye opener.The book gives you hope, not that it promises you some quick fix techniques which can solve most of the terrifying problems but it gives you principles of compassion.
Kindness and Compassion are the two concepts which gives us inner strength.I have heard many people say that in this competitive world there is no place for compassion. People would take revenge and satisfy their ego rather than try to break the cycle of hatred.

Midnight Blues

This world runs on preconceived assumptions which have no logic or reason.Most of the famous painters and poets in the world were potrayed as mad people.Most of the people who made great changes happen in our world were shot dead.The revolutionaries were always hanged or burned alive. The credit were never flooded on their feet.They could never see the dawn after the misery.
All they wanted was to belong to this world ...
All they needed was a little recognition...
Its not that I want the world to change
Not that the minds of the society is run by intelligence
The world has always been a fools paradise
Freedom has been compromised everytime
Its one question which bothers me always
Am I the sane in the insane world
The crazy among the average
The world has always been a mystery
Dreams have always been my place!!!

Alone-ness

There is this strange alone-ness which each of us possess .Our deepest self knows that.We suffer so much trying to connect to others .But the world does not understand..The world does not perceive..


The silence in the continuous melody
The moment of failure
The ectasy of joy
The instrument can never play the music
It watches as the sound flows...
This moment defines your life your the observer ...
You make illusions ...
You create ..
You forget..
You weep at fate
But you are the one who made this eternal world..
The voice never dies..
You are here and will always exist...

Oh lordy, trouble so hard
Oh lordy, trouble so hard
Don't nobody know my troubles but God
Don't nobody know my troubles but God
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivtKcM1DGeY

Part 2 :The Others

This post is mostly concerned about others..literally..I have been cheated so many times .....I had to think why this was happening to me again and again...My friends for whom I wasted my time,energy and above all my trust and love have given me only grief ,sadness and suffering.Few of them have even cheated of the little money I had earned staying on my own.

For example:

The laptop I had bought ,was sold to me by one of my friends.(for 800$) Few months later I found out that even that was stolen from a shop.There were many other instances which happened which kept my mind busy and no day went without someone or other troubling the hell out of me.The most difficult part for me to understand that I never cheated them..I was always careful that I don't do something which may hurt anyone or do something which will kill my conscience and I lose sleep in the nights.Last one year was a major year for me because I realised that it was my own fault that I could never make good decisions.I could never analyse a person(only analyse not judge).Everyone I used to meet I used to colour them according to what I feel the person should be.If they were educated or knowledgeable I used to feel that they had impeccable character and high values.I was so caught up in my own imaginations about the goodness of everyone that when ever I used to see a tiny fault I used to just sweep it away.I never thought about it .Never questioned it. The imagination of building up a person in my mind clouded their real self .The "other" in this case is the imagination of a being who doesn't exist.This projection of mind distorted the reality of existence.

Creating a vaccum

Is it difficult to live your life expecting nothing???

When ever we have a difficult time with work or in general our life we tend to analyse it.We interrogate ourselves until we have worn ourselves out.People will tell you to take some time off.We leave the place.Place a identity of a tourist on yourself,barge your self into new place, new roads,new destination.But it is the same you.Sometimes we feel that only we when we give up the relentless need for knowing definite answers we reach a conclusion.The feelings,the emotions still exist.You cannot forget the past .You feel if only you had a pill like in matrix to know whether we exist like nameless numbers without any sense of existence.Can we erase some parts of us.We leave old habits and then we form new habits.Does nothing exist?
But I have always found that when we feel out of control and you feel helpless and when you can only control your response that is the real test of life.You don't wait and plan for tomorrow.You live in a vaccum where even your body does not give you company.Your mind is tired,body is stressed with anxiety and pain then you can clearly feel a part of you still is residing which does exist.The despair or total happiness in any situation shows you a part which does not belong to your identity as a machine with a mind and body.These moments are valuable and when life pushes this on everyone we need to just wait and listen .

Noise

Is it possible to reduce the disturbance in our heads..
Does silence exist for ever...
Even the most enlightened beings would tell you that it is impossible to exist in bliss forever.Even if you leave all attachments and leave to Himalayas...
You will have noise...You struggles will come from within you..the external ones have disappeared....the internal struggle will start....
But how long do we continue this process of learning .
Is there a end??
Is death the end??
May be the answer lies in realization of the fact that disturbance is the natural state.Hunger,suffering,disease,doubts are common in this world..we can never escape them..We can always scale them down.Instead of suffering for mundane issues of life(like not having the latest brands of clothes) we suffer for humanity.We suffer when we see thousands die in useless wars ..we suffer when our neighbours die in hunger and in our minds we are happy...This suffering teaches us that we belong to bigger family.It allows us to take action, manifest our greatness and realize our own divinity.

Enlightement is the falling of the leaf
It happens for a second
You weep for the silence
Your heart drowns in joy
But it is gone
Just as it came
For a second lasts for an eternity
And infinity cannot be measured by a second...

Self and Society..

The conception of self and society

All my life I have been mesmerized by western music.I have lived in the traditional joint family for all my life.Only a year back I separated and started living on my own.The western music symbolized rebellion and individual expression. To me the self was sacred, the expression of it my birth right.
In a family which has(too many people)your self is a mixture of many souls. You get connected to this large unit where there are collective goals and collective laws. Let me draw a analogy and say something in terms to the country or state. As a single entity you are taught from a young age to think about your own ideas and goals. Our school system sees that we develop a plan for the future. We struggle to stand on our own feet in this process we topple many of the others down through the process of competition. Darwin would have winked and told you that this is the proof for "survival of the fittest" theory. Once we develop this selfishess..self -enlightment techniques we soak ourselves in our own greatness.This is a important transition phase for human beings.Because without developing a proper identity and definition for our own selves we suffer in constant confusion .The realm of higher consciousness kicks in when we realize the uncertainty associated with our lives.As humans our family becomes an integral part and we take it for granted.Our leap into the pool of enlightment comes in when we learn that we are a part of the whole.To become one we need to expand our family.Then the patriotism and jingoism/fundamentalism of religion and country sets in.Starting from the usual screams that we use to boo down opponent countries in sports to the hatred we show towards other religions and races it is a higher plane ...but not that tall that it teaches us compassion.The German holocaust is a clear example this kind of evolution.
To really understand the meaning of society we need to have humanitarian intellect which is lacked by many in the world. The reason for wars in most of the countries is a clear signal for this kind of deficiency. To me society encompasses all living beings. We need to develop compassion and respect to all the living creatures in this world. Humans are a speck in this humungous universe/multiverse.....The speck is noticeable but still it is only a speck..

Glimpses of Paradise

These are the pictures taken in Kolkatta,at the Parivaar Ashram.It was a beautiful morning,6AM ...The rays entering through the leaves...

A note from the past

I found one of own old journals lying in the corner of my room.I write a journal to vent my feelings out.I write because at that moment my mind flows out all the words in a flow that I immerse myself in my being..

20-6-2003

In the 20 years of life I have lived,I have filled up the pages of too many journals.The moment I turned 20 I started having serious thoughts about my life and I wanted to live my life the way I always dream't of.The pain and sorrow is worth it because of the insight it brought into the life.I will try to appreciate and be happy with what I have been provided with.My life has taught me to be tolerant towards others .Change is the only thing which teaches us everything.Sometimes I used to feel that life has nothing more to offer and that was the time when life gave me infinite possblities.It is when we limit our lives from doing things and trying to break boundaries which we shouldn't have in the first place , life turns into something else.The code for the diary is to write from the heart and have no preconcieved notions of life.Experiences written here should be honest so that they can help me in the future (if I ever turn back and read it).I wish this diary could be a journey into a life and lead to self discovery and to attain a more spirutual insight into my life.

Surface of dust...

This was one of the funny incidents which happened few months back in the astronomy lab .(where I teach)
The labs I have to teach are always in the night(8PM-11PM).So as I was setting up the telescope for the day's observations, the students were just overwhelmed by the feeling of handling the telescope.There were nervous gossips ,biographical instances which were passed along,a laugh ,a complaint ...chaos..simple chaos..
The beautiful solitude under the stars have turned into a discordant noise.I was losing my patience,the nerves on my forehead were throbbing with irritation and I was not able to concentrate on setting up the focus for observing the peaks on the moon.I saw a cracked surface and sighed a heavy sense of relief.The students started looking at the object with constant suprise and awe.There was this boy who kept a intriguing look and told me that what I have focussed on is not the moon.It may be a crack at the eye piece.I got angry at my fault and at the same time I laughed at my foolishness.


What is an eye piece?
An eyepiece brings all the light rays gathered by the telescope into sharp focus. The eyepiece determines the magnification of the image as well as its brightness and contrast
There are various sizes which are used..25mm,12.5mm,40mm,7mm..

It happens so many times in our life.. due to the confusion and suffering that life offers we see,everything through a sense of negative ideaology.We feel there is no hope in the world.The world wants us to be punished and we burden ourselves with guilt.Only if we could look through with the eyes of hope and self belief we see the beautiful dreams ,the various sparks of divinity we are blessed with.

The other

Caution:This article mostly deals with the Indian life.The thoughts are motivated solely on my experience of life

"The other"

I had found this metaphor in Paul Coelho's book.(By the river Piedra I sat and wept)

It gave rise to an interesting analysis of what people normally do to fulfill society needs.

Most of the time .Many of us take up stable professions (engineer/doctor)because we are told by someone or other that it can provide you a comfortable job to push on with life.Many couples have kids because they are fulfilling the scheme given by their parents .Many more get married because the society feels that you need a companion to take care of your needs.(mostly in old age or if you stricken with some terrifying disease)

If you are a girl it becomes mandatory that you get married ,as you are a helpless individual who cannot live by society standards.

But I shake in terror for those people who fulfill these roles and start acting in this play and realize half way that they can change their life.That they can have other professions and may have other goals that they want to strive for.
Life becomes a curse...for them.Sex(addiction),drugs and alcohol become their support system.

I have found so many roles that I personally played and I may be still playing ...and I am yet to get of this trap and start to focus on a life which is more complete and which is totally ...Mine...

The other is the curse of fame
Ideas which are generated in them
Which get injected into me
I can never walk alone
Because of this constant nosie everywhere around me
I wish I could disappear from this constant commotion
But it exists deep within me
I need to kill a part of me
I need not cry for its death
My tears become my repentance..
The strings which hold me
I hope to strangle the other with them
The birth of hate within me
I am turning into them....

Higher goals of love

I have never seen a flower which stopped blooming because no one looked at it.
I never saw the sunset not revealing its beauty because there was no one to soak up its glamour.
The clouds and the winds give me their gifts everyday ..sometimes I forget to take a look at them..But next day they are again on my way giving me comapany...
Our natural state of existence is of joy and love.We were created in the same way flowers,clouds and other magnificent things of nature.Then why did we not learn this basic fundamental truth about love .The highs and lows of passion are the illusions created by our fickle mind.There is only a constant compassion which can exist in our heart towards whom we love or hate.

When the Buddha teaches others
he does so out of compassion,
because the Tathagata is wholly freed
from both favour and aversion.

The day I was truly happy...

Can you just smile and be happy ...try to be happy ...the words echoed through my head..two hours of meditation and 1 hour of intense yoga...the speaker gave us our daily homework....
Smile and be happy for a whole day.If you cannot be happy at this moment and where you are ,you can relocate where ever you want and do everything you always wanted ..but still ,your happiness will be drifting away.Happiness lies in this moment.Enjoy it ...before it passes away...
I try to smile ..I try to be happy ...I could manage it for a couple of hours and then I got irritated ..I felt as if the world was conspiring against my failing moods...
A week passes by...My eyes wander through the victorian buildings,I see sweet shops and fish everywhere,I see huge buildings and slums all over the place.I pass through narrow lanes and reach Bonogram.I see the moonlight shine through the darker waters.

I try to make sense of the complimentary existence of poverty and spirutuality.
As the day dawns, I see couple of 6 year olds trying to enter my room.The puzzled faces are amusing to look at ..I smile...

I see a small baby running by ..the only 1 year old in the premises...she turns and starts telling me the only bangla word she knows..I offer her a biscut she smiles ..I smile...

I see a flood of small kids running towards me ...they start kissing and hugging me ..I smile and I laugh...

The kids go to school...The sun shines at me...I visit the play ground where the younger kids were playing ...they start speaking bangla and I am confused ...I tell them I know only Hindi ..They laugh...I smile..

I try to eat lunch with all the kids ..they start discussing about me with everyone ...They smile ...and I smile..

In the evening few of the kids organize a performance for me...They sing Rabindra -sangeet and dance for the popular Bangla songs...I clap ...I smile...

As night dawns I play with kids and we have dinner...We share our joys...I smile...

As I bid goodbye to the City Of Joy ..It gives me the biggest gift ...It taught me to be happy ...

The organisation I had visited in Kolkata was Parivaar.(www.parivaar.org)
The kids taught me one of the most important lesson in life .These kids are rejected by society.At parivaar they are given a new home and a new life. The kids in Parivaar stand as a testimonial...for the human soul which has overcome so many obstacles.

The gradual shift..

I was blinded with glowing light pushing me towards a self which was new.I resisted the urge which was increasing in my heart.I never wanted to experience anything new.I thought I could live for ever.But all of us die so many deaths in our life time.It is always so difficult to move on from childhood to adolscence and from teen years to mature adults.If it is not enough that we resist our own natural development the people around us also don't understand the importance of growing up.Many adults who in their 30's are still clutched around by their mothers who still treat them like helpless infants.The evolution of the self is never given the highest priority.The growth initially lands us in depression as we still long for the familiar old self.True maturity lies when we take the suffering but still long for new expereinces and new dreams.

The dark ages

The dark age according to me is the age of ignorance.It can last for years and sometimes for decades.We all have a inner dark sides which creeps up once we start to understand the world and its workings.Everything which meets us leaves a part of it in us.The good,the bad and the ugly has hidden faces in our heart.We have our desires and wants creeping on us.Unless we are courageous enough to confront it ..it is going to haunt us for ever.We cannot blame anyone for our dark side.We hold on to it.We never let it heal.Fear would have been the most troublesome obstacle.But I feel each one of us has the inner intution to set ourselves free.To overcome the bonds we created .Personally I have been able to heal myself in lot of ways by doing volunteer service in hospitals.By seeing physical pain and trying to give happiness and hope to patients , I have somehow given the hope of being nice to myself.

Following Someone's Footsteps

I cannot accept that I have failed again.I have lost many times before and this is nothing new.Why does my mind try to distort reality when someone tells me that I lost...I know that failure is one of the greatest teachers in our lives..That it is one of the biggest rejuvenators that nature has invented...

When I slip let me not hold on so tight
That I let hope pass by
humiliation when accepted becomes a black rose
It dries and when touched burns into dust
Why does darkness blind me
Who judges me as I lay breathless
Am I the only crazy one in this sane world
Or the sane one in this crazy world

Everything Happens For A Reason..

This was one of the communities I joined in orkut.Felt the introduction was too good.So just putting it here so many more can read it and learn from it...


Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away they were meant to be there...to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them and you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair, but in reflection of you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never would realize your potential, strength, will power, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, and lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all acure to test limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to know where safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. The successes and the downfalls that you experience can create who you are and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make everything count. Appreciate everything you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.

Talk to people whom you have never talked to before and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you're a great individual and believe in yourself, no on else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it.

The meeting

With gold you adorn me
Stones block the rays of the sun
My clothes gleam the money you have spent to make me beautiful
Devotees throng at my doorstep
Wait for hours for a glimpse of my shadow
They hope that miracles stick with them
Joys come to them
Money flow from all directions
To whose side I sway
I am pulled by the wealthy and the poor
The one legged man with tears in his eyes for mercy
The woman with cancer who is dying
The rich man who bribes me with wealth
I am just a statue
I am not divine
I lay not in the stones
I reside in the ever confusing riddles of the conscious mind

Following someone's footsteps

I cannot accept that I have failed again.I have lost many times before and this is nothing new.Why does my mind try to distort reality when someone tells me that I lost...I know that failure is one of the greatest teachers in our lives..That it is one of the biggest rejuvenate that nature has invented...

When I slip let me not hold on so tight
That I let hope pass by
humiliation when accepted becomes a black rose
It dries and when touched burns into dust
Why does darkness blind me
Who judges me as I lay breathless
Am I the only crazy one in this sane world
Or the sane one in this crazy world

The untimely fall

Do I need to write down every single occurence of my life
Fading memories have twisted the details of the blurry past
I dont remember roads or faces
I cant remember names or suprises
The joys and sorrows have no value now
I have changed and also changed the memories somehow
The trip down memory lane is a joke to me
I find myself behaving dumb and ignorant as I can be
I cannot see how people around me accepted me then
When I was so dependent and delicate within
A small shake to the boat of life
A small gust of wind scared me
The lens I look through keeps changing as days pass by
I can see the consciousness in my mind enlarge
My heart is getting too tired of love
Because I can see it everywhere in everyone's eyes.
I can't find reasons why I analyse everything in me
May be it is due to a head injury ..
when I entered the crazy world,
banged my head on the hospital wall
recovered from the bump but not from the fall...

So difficult...

It’s so difficult to realize that you are not what you look.
If you look good and people appreciate it..this does not give you prolonged happiness(at least for few hours)..just a high for a second...
The million commercials which they show which can enhance your life may be a lie.
The songs featuring handsome hunks and beautiful babes in reality make look fake with layers of make up ...
The camera makes reality ...Your place doesn’t exist ..You are an outsider..
Real India is not the shadow of Ekta Kapoor serials.
Most of India population stays in poverty ..They dont have desinger brands ..They don’t shop at malls...They don’t know that Mc Donald’s is a cancer that is spreading across the world.

These views come out as I try to understand India ...the real India..as I walk on the streets I try to get used to all the male chauvinistic behaviour, the stares, the comments of guys/men who can’t mind their own business. They scan me as if I am the last of the female species. They try to follow me so that they can scare me. They try to instill in me the fact that without a man you are nothing. A part of me is disgusted by what I have experienced in few days. I can't change it. I can't help it. Only thing I know is I don’t deserve this crap.As a self respecting woman I want fairness and justice. I want freedom..I want a India where I can atleast walk happily at 8PM and not get assualted/abused.I just feel sad for all the billion woman who live in villages or god forsaken places where I am sure cave men laws would work better than today’s laws which are run by brain dead men.

Divertions...

It is so difficult to quieten the mind.I am finding next to imposssible to dive deep into silence.Everywhere there are impulses which drive me into a confusion.Happiness,enlightment,peace...all the emotions come from within.But I have started observing lately that many of the emotions which come from me are not the product of the inner turmoil or serenity.It is induced by external factors.The music I listen to ,what I eat,what I watch all contribute to my mind set.I am not me .I am the product of millions of diversions targeted at me everyday.

May be that was one of the main reasons why saints in the ancient world used to isolate themselves.But even in isolation there are diversions.The natural calamities,hunger..all natural instincts used to divert them anyway.The possible solution for the slipping mind is oneness.It comes from awareness of our own diversions.Denial will never lead you to a path of inner wisdom.

My art...

I always wanted to be a painter.But as life would have its way..i am an electrical engineer.But I still thought I could make it..But creativity in me is dying..I dont know how...A slow death..Past few months I am not able to paint at all..After many months of desperation I was finally able to get my artistic ability to produce something worthwhile...It was all possible because of few online websites which gives people like me a chance to experiment ..or to prevent a part of creativity from dying..
Here is the link....


1.Love and only love

http://artpad.art.com/?j9evs9obgqs

2.Wild flowers..

http://artpad.art.com/?j9ewwltu6dc

3.White and orange bloom

http://artpad.art.com/?j9ex5f3ypt4

4.Wine and only wine

http://artpad.art.com/?j9exg2c7l00

Pavlov's experiment

This experiment was one of the important foundations in psychology.It desribed the unconditioned responses and deep impulses we have as living beings.I have myself found that in many instants we use these responses.I am not one of those people who studies psychology,but as a hobby I do read much of the interesting literature available.
Reflex action is one of the response which nature has given us to protect ourselves from danger.There is also the fight or flight phenomena which we use when we are in danger or high stress.But what I find is interesting is that many of the activities which we do on daily basis becomes a conditioned response.For example switching on the television once you enter the room.Hunger pangs as you return home .These responses are very difficult to be broken.I do suffer from short span of attention only when I watch television, but other times when I need prolonged concentration at work or for my school work(master's)I dont have any diversions.This find for myself is so scary because we cannot control our own moods or reactions for many situations if we dont analyse who we are regularly.

Dont carry it forward...

This post is partially inspired by the post I read on Libran Lover blog.
http://libranlover.blogspot.com/

We live our lives sometimes stuck in the memories of the past.We tend to think every single person is the same.Each time someone wrongs us ,takes us for a ride we tend to imagine that others will do the same.History may repeat itself..Only if we dont learn from our mistakes.The next person who comes along after the bad stuff is the target of our hatred sometimes.They shower us their love and affection but the only thing we give them back is painful memories.This cruelity is sometimes actually a protective sheild so that we dont get too close to the person.To me personally ,it takes for ever to wipe out the anger and hatred .It stagnates in my heart and makes me turn sometimes into a monster.But after self examination and tons of sorry's I have distributed to my friends I have realised that we need to let go of perfection from our parts .We make mistakes and that is human .We tend to meet wrong people and still make them enter our closed spaces.But we learn ..We judge ..We surrender and hope that love will cancel the hate.That the enemy who destroyed us will suffer the pangs of hate they created in us.We forgive and we never carry it forward.Find a good day and bury all the memories in the soil so that nature can work its wonders and make life spring out of it!!!

First step.....

The first step is the hardest ..
It takes a alignment of who you are and what you really want to achieve.
Once you get into the flow of doing it..everything becomes easy..
A month passes away and it becomes a habit ...
Years pass away and it becomes a trait..
The first step is the hardest.

Relationship's

I read this article online(few months back) and I thought it was pretty interesting.I dont exactly know from which site I got this article.But I thank the author for such a beautiful expression of our worlds.

I think people in relationship with us will always be compelled to show us to ourselves. I have seen many people change mates only to see the same problems appear in the new ones.If your romantic relationship situation improves, it's a sure sign that you have changed something within yourself for the better.

Our worlds are our concepts of self and life made visible. We want someone to lean on, to entertain us, to make our lives exciting. We don't want to take the responsibility of doing it for ourselves. This short circuits our sovereignty and will end in disappointment.When we work on becoming a self sufficient, self entertaining, self exciting human being, we begin to attract mates of a higher caliber in the food chain of life.

When we sit and wait for someone else to bring us this magnificent package of compatibility we don't realize that they are the delivery man carrying a giant mirror. These others in our lives are made of reflective glass not flesh and blood.
Don't accept the appearance for the reality. The senses deliver a hopelessly skewed version of reality and can't be trusted.

Marriage has utterly failed as an institution because it arranges unions of convenience and convention. The true purpose of union is to be mutually clear and accurate reflectors of each other to facilitate self understanding, to be able to see what you are throwing out there. The contents of our consciousness is much too near to see and understand until we project and dramatize it onto the screen of space and time, into the multiplicity of relationship for our viewing pleasure.

When the other persons behavior is bothersome it should throw up a flag for self examination for the source of the displeasure. We are at the creative center of our own realities laboring under the illusion of separation. All we see is an extrusion of our self laid out into the world around us. The very purpose of the illusion of relationship, or the myth of otherness, is to enable the understanding and definition of ourselves.

Popular song and culture has us thinking that we are nothing without some mystical "other half" that will complete us. Wake up and shake yourself, you are dreaming. If you want sanity, compatibility and joy in a relationship then get your own house in order. These elements have to be arranged first within your own consciousness, then all who are in relationship will under compulsion, reflect these back to us.

Chuck (zorch@ix.netcom.com)

No second chances...

In the commandments this is what is written..
You can break against the law...but the law never breaks...

So many times I see people trying to organise their lives by getting a number of succesful achievements under their belt.But I believe that the foundation is the most important thing.Any success is hollow if it is done by using the wrong way.You can never have a honest dealing with yourself ,if you cheat someone else.Life is a circle ..that was one of the quotations used by my friend.According to him you keep zero-ing on the same situation again and again till you get it right.

You keep feeling guilty for all the people you wronged.You need to pay a price for all the mistakes you made.Everything is put up on scales for judgement.

This is where the difficult part comes in.Life does not give you so many chances.The determination and influence of your mind in carving out your life is important.When you dont acheieve this ...life stagnates.Your happiness becomes a distant dream.

faltering steps...

I find everyone around me talking about stability in their lives and careers .According to them it is the unseen safe future where nothing becomes an obstacle for human existence.Everything is a smooth walk towards the ever so happy gleaming future.Our existence, now this moment is a fanatic preparation for the glorious future.What if our lives end as this very single moment.This single moment becomes the end of our preparation.I have always lived a goal oriented life .My goals were defined by the materialistic needs of my future.

The new definition of a goal which I discovered "is that it is not a specific destination but a way of life."

I have realised the power of the unknown.
I dont want to ruin this perfect moment thinking about all the unknown difficulties of the future.
I dont want to take life seriously .
I want to slip into the unknown.
I dont want to plan ahead my whole life.
I dont want that life should turn out exactly as my silly mind think's at this very moment.


The catch with this kind of philosophy is that there are no second guess's as there are no far and wide plans.

Then as any orgainsed person would !!! interrupt my logic...
How do you achieve something when you dont plan ahead?

Deep within our hearts there lies a hidden glow .This symbolic light is the light of knowledge.It is the purpose with which we have been born in this crazy mixed up world.But it is very difficult for us to find the destination because continously we control ourselves and dont give a small opening for the uncertainity to peak in.Many times life itself pushes this uncertainity by giving us miseries and life changing obstacles.As we suffer under the torture of the circumstance,we learn to surrender.We learn to just flow with life rather than make our own plans.Then the goals(as previously defined)continously change and are made by our own choice.Can this goal change our destination and turn the eternal cycle upside down...

Yes!!!we torment ourselves and we imprison ourselves...We hold on to so much when our palms are so small..

Let us not blame the ever changing tides for our misfortune ..
Let us not take our wrath on mother nature
Let us not search for happiness through the world
When it can be found in the hidden depths of our hearts.

Critical remarks...

If knives can scare you and drain out your blood ...
you have to hide yourself
from the cruel insults of the humans
It tears your heart and leaves deep scars
No amount of love can heal the wounds
Why does the cruel mind destroy
every single joy
Why does human indulge in nasty lies.
If truth were that what you think
Its lies only ...If you can judge...
The ever changing seasons welcomes the soul
Which can hide the anger and only give hope...


THE WEAK CAN NEVER FORGIVE. FORGIVENESS IS THE ATTRIBUTE OF THE STRONG

My prayer for today..

(1) I will practice Acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are this moment, not as I wish they were.

(2) Having accepted things as they are, I will take Responsibility for my situation and for all those events I see as problems. I know that taking responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for my situation (and this includes myself). I also know that every problem is an opportunity in disguise, and this alertness to opportunities allows me to take this moment and transform it into a greater benefit.

(3) Today my awareness will remain established in Defenselessness. I will relinquish the need to defend my point of view. I will feel no need to convince or persuade others to accept my point of view. I will remain open to all points of view and not be rigidly attached to any one of them.

Text taken from the book:The seven spiritual laws of success-Deepak Chopra

Musafir...

Wahan kaun hai tera ..
Musafir ...
Tu jayega kahan??
Dum le..lee gadi bar
Wahan kaun hai tera
Musafir ..
Tu jayega kahan??
Beeth gaye din ...
Pyaar ke panchi..
Sapna bani woh raatein
Bhool gaye woh ..
Tu bhi bulade..
Pyaar ki woh mulaketan
Sab duri aur andhera
Musafir ...
Tu jayega kahan?
Dum le lee.. gadi bar ..
Tu jayenga kahan..
Wahan kaun hai tera …………
Koi bhi teri raha na dekhae
Nayan bichai na koi
Dard se tera koi na tadpa
Aankh kiski na roi
Aankh kiski na roi
Kahin kisko tu mera
Kahin kisko tu mera
Musafir tu jayenga kahan??
Dum le lee gadi bar
Yeah chaya tu paayee ga kahan
OOOOOOOOOOOO Musafir.....
Tu jayega kahan??
Kahte hain gyani
Duniya hain pani
Pani pe likhi likhai
Hey sab ki dekhi
Hey sab ki jaani
Haath kisiki na aayee
Haath kisiki na aayee
Kuch tera na mera
Musafir.....
Tu jayega kahan
Dum le lee gadi bar
Tu jayega kahan???
Tu jayega kahan???
Wahan kaun hai tera....

This is one of my all time favourite songs.It is song sung by S.D.Burman.It is the title song in the movie Guide..The one thing I like about this song is the wisdom hidden in the song.

Conformity

I have been reading how an Integrated Circuit(IC) is developed.Its part of my course work in my masters.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Integrated_circuit
A wafer which is the starting product of the IC is made into 1000's of IC's.It can be made into thousands of IC's.There is a process of repetition of the same principles again and again for all the IC's.This is a very technique used by nature to create every single existing element in our universe.Our world is a reproduction of a single idea done again and again...I sometimes wonder what is the use of multiplicity.But our eyes lie to us...Every single thing is unique and has got its unique features.A grain of sand has got its own individual smoothness and dislocations.We are caught in a never ending cycle of unique reproductions.This theory an be used to explain all kinds of theories starting from survival of the fittest to the explanation of ever expanding finite universe.
What is the eternal question is whether it would ever stop?
Mutations occur once in a while but problems like over population and scarity of food continue to effect our world.What are the possible solutions for such problems???
If global warming is occuring in Antartica then it should also effect the consciousness of the other part o fthe world.Selfishness should dissolve into global consciousness.

Love Love Love

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

Woody Allen.

Suffering is one of the ways through which lessons are taught to us.Initially when I was a kid I used to think happiness and suffering work in cycles.If you had suffering in the initial years then later your life should be full of happiness and nothing else.But I have learnt to look at life in a very different perspective.Happiness is a state of mind and we control it.Life never gives us a option.We have the choice in our hands.Suffering and misery are few key things which help us break open the illusory obstacles.As we suffer there is a channel formed between the real self as the illusions are broken.There is a direct connection with the higher consciousness which expand our tiny lives to include the whole world.Sometimes I think if I never had bad experiences and miseries in my life I would never have learnt so much in my life.Nature makes us suffer ....thats what is the biggest illusion.We suffer most of the time because of ourselves.Our reactions to the lows of life is what gives birth to suffering.

Few ways which I have dealt with suffering:

Every fall you have has a lesson to be learnt.
Never get tired of learning.
Simplify..simplify ..simplify..Never let the small things which dont mean a lot effect you..bits of paper included..sorry money!!!!
Try to see the bigger picture.
Try to use wisdom and intution rather than status,degrees and money.
Dont expect a lot...
What ever you do ..have the principles/laws of living govern your life.
Any small job which you have to do ..do with all you have got..Whatever you give is what comes back to you in return..
and finally...
Be strong...Nothing in the world can break the inner soul..May be circumstances can
effect you physically and emotionally but nothing can break into the inner sanctum which you have created...

Post Traumatic Stress

When the moments pass we think the trouble is over.Our mind can keep most of our stressful reactions ingrained in our subconscious.It is like a small part of our mind gets moulded to give the same reaction again and again under stressful conditions.We can change the way we react to situations and evolve a new circuitry for our impluses.This requires awareness.It also requires confrontation of the fear deep inside of us.We have to slide to the roots of the fear and shatter it.One of the methods used is flooding.To go back to the painful situation and turn yourself from a victim to the one in control.It is quite painful to go back ..to miserable memories which torment us.But it is possible to change perceptions and it is also possible for us to heal.
“Be like the headland against which the waves break and break: it
stands firm, until presently the watery tumult around it subsides once
more to rest. ‘How unlucky I am, that this should have happened to
me!’ By no means; say, rather, ‘How lucky I am that this has left me
with no bitterness; unshaken by the present, and undismayed by the
future.’”
Marcus Aurelius

Not lonely anymore...

Empty lanes dont remind me of the past walks
Endless journeys into my heart dont remind me of the past
Rooms filled with memories dont haunt me
I am not lonely..I am cured
Memories have become friends
Dreams knock my door every night
I am not lonely anymore..
No soul torments my inner peace
Its only me everywhere
The endless music plays in my ears
My life sways to the dance of existence
I have learnt to focus on the moment
The beautiful wind doesnt fire up the jealousy
in my heart
The empty skies filled with blue
Deepens the happiness of living
If loneliness is a disease ..I am cured..
No desire creeps in me
A part of me which is already dead had disappeared
I am not lonely anymore
The stars tell me unending stories
The dark black above my head fills me with peace
Constellations have become gifts from the past
I dont need this unending pain
Its high time I let the tides leave
The moon with its brightness leave me puzzled
I am not lonely anymore...
I am not lonely anymore.....

Abstractness of God

As various colours fade into each other ..the lines get blurred even more.There is no start nor end to this process.Everything exists for a moment's glance.I was thinking about abstract painting and I felt the idea of God in my head.I dont question day and night about who governs this orderly chaos.A quiet appreciation for the illusion and faith in nature's laws are taking shape ..deep within my heart.I feel lost in the momentary satisfaction of the illusion.Some times when misery strikes I feel as if I am stuck in a bubble which may burst only when death arrives.
I react to every emotion which resides in my head.It is me who is pouring these colours into the universe.It is my consciousness which is blurring the lines.It is me who exists.I close my eyes I swing between momentary death and life.

Worthiness

What defines your worth as a human?
Most of the times I get carried away by the material fads of measuring worthiness.If there is a obstacle to measure the materialistic worthiness then the second criteria becomes physical beauty.The third measure comes from your personality.These measures are commonly used in our everyday lives.It was only when I was exposed to the backlashes of my bad judgment did I realize that there is only one and only one measure for a human.The measure is character.A piece of diamond shinning in the coal can be sifted through the rubble very easily.It is very hard to judge a person's character.If only we are true to ourselves only then we can see the irregularities in the other soul.It is way too easy to contaminate our life .What we are going to be is decided by the people we surround ourselves with.It takes lot of determination to say no to foolish concepts of present pleasure.Long term happiness is got only when we invest our time and energy to mould a beautiful heart worthy of experiencing the greatness of life.

Time

This is one of life's greatest mysteries.As the sands of time slip through your very fingers you wonder "What is life all about?".

Managing time is one of the most difficult things to do.Past few days I have observed that in my life there is a general disorder and I am not having time even to breathe.The burn out which occurs in everyone's life is a red alert for danger.Not being able to do things which produces lasting happiness is a human's biggest failure.Time cannot be managed by keeping a list of activities which we want to do.Like a dictator we can never always run a tight schedule.The only way time can be managed properly will be when our prorities are laid out straight.When our inner compass has a strong inclination of making us enlightened beings ..it would naturally control the negative desires which eat away our present time .To reach this stage we must consciously accept our own faults and learn to appreciate ourselves and give a chance for further growth.To reach a stage of constant growth is to be at the middle stage.At one end there are people who have their lives planned out and if there is any misalingment there is huge distress.At the other end there are people who live a aimless life and let life carry them -these are the people who dont have strong inner principles to guide them.
The middle way is always the best way sometimes.We have to have strong inner conviction ,values and also we should start enjoying sailing as life carries us around.

The hardest part

The hardest part was letting go and not taking part
its the hardest part
And the strangest thing was waiting for the bell to ring..
it was the strangest thing..
And the silver lining in the cloud
I wish that I could work it out
The hardest part was that you broke my heart
I try to sing and I couldn’t sing
could'nt do anything
It was the hardest part
And the silver lining in the cloud
Oh and I …Oh and I
And I wonder what its all about..
I wonder what its all about..
Everything I do is wrong
Everything I do comes undone
Everything is hard …hard ..hard
It’s the hardest part
ya ..thats the hardest part…

it is the lyrics of the song the hardest part by the band coldplay..

The unique puzzle.

When the cold winds leave red scars on your face
when the scorching heat leaves you burnt
When the rains flood your life
The ever prevailing pain never dies
I sit under the banyan tree ...I close my eyes
The darkness swings me in so many directions
My hunger has left me half dead
I close my eyes..I fall in love with darkness
I have a longing for a drop of water
The darkness provides me comfort
I wait for time to pass through
The dimensions of my own self has vanished
My own entity has disappeared
The cold winds become my shelter from scars
The sun with his brightness brings hope
The rains purify my very soul
the ant which gets crushed under my feet
Sends signals of pain right through my heart
The lonely bird with no food
brings in pain in my body
The lonely dejected souls become a part of my extended body
I dont know why the darkness has bought this illusion
I worried for my misery ..It showed me darkenss
I drowned in it
Now everyone's pain is mine ..I revel in their joy
I have become one..
The ego has died
I accept ..i continue..
I sit under the banyan tree ..I close my eyes!!!

Motivation

What is the one thing which drives you to achieve what you want?

Money,Fame,Love,Pain,Pleasure...

Constantly we see our own negative points and wish only if we could change ???Effort does not lead to any positive result.The biggest motivator is pain.Not pleasure,money,fame or any other kind of self satisfying desire.We need to want it so badly that it troubles you to the extent that you change yourself.I have been struggling with so many new changes in my life and they would have never materialized if there was no pain.If there was misery in my life I have driven myself to see peace and embrace it.The guilt and the shame of my own emotional being has motivated me to do something.The working of motivation always works from inside out.The inner being should have a marked change in perspective and a shift in consciousness or else the change will be momentarily marked change is to change the inner most ingrained behavior and attitude.
Consistency and positive affirmation goes a long way in what we become.Every single time we make a wrong choice which goes against our best interests there is a small part of you which burns itself to death.When we violate and cause harm to ourselves we are giving rise to self hate.This shows in various ways in our life in the way we address our hopes ,desires and puts deep wrinkles in our forehead as we grow old.
But we dont know the true from the false by just reading bunch of books or by looking at others life..the soul has to go through the journey then we realize the potential we have in ourselves to achieve greatness and reach the plane when everything we do is like a ripple ...it starts from you ...doing good ..and then spreads itself in all directions to help humanity...the nature and on whole the vast world..All great people have achieved it through the tools of honesty,belief,ability to bear failure and constant struggle to hold truth in their hearts...