The dark ages

The dark age according to me is the age of ignorance.It can last for years and sometimes for decades.We all have a inner dark sides which creeps up once we start to understand the world and its workings.Everything which meets us leaves a part of it in us.The good,the bad and the ugly has hidden faces in our heart.We have our desires and wants creeping on us.Unless we are courageous enough to confront it ..it is going to haunt us for ever.We cannot blame anyone for our dark side.We hold on to it.We never let it heal.Fear would have been the most troublesome obstacle.But I feel each one of us has the inner intution to set ourselves free.To overcome the bonds we created .Personally I have been able to heal myself in lot of ways by doing volunteer service in hospitals.By seeing physical pain and trying to give happiness and hope to patients , I have somehow given the hope of being nice to myself.

Following Someone's Footsteps

I cannot accept that I have failed again.I have lost many times before and this is nothing new.Why does my mind try to distort reality when someone tells me that I lost...I know that failure is one of the greatest teachers in our lives..That it is one of the biggest rejuvenators that nature has invented...

When I slip let me not hold on so tight
That I let hope pass by
humiliation when accepted becomes a black rose
It dries and when touched burns into dust
Why does darkness blind me
Who judges me as I lay breathless
Am I the only crazy one in this sane world
Or the sane one in this crazy world

Everything Happens For A Reason..

This was one of the communities I joined in orkut.Felt the introduction was too good.So just putting it here so many more can read it and learn from it...


Sometimes people come into your life and you know right away they were meant to be there...to serve some sort of purpose, teach you a lesson, or to figure out who you are or who you want to become. You never know who these people may be but you lock eyes with them and you know that very moment that they will affect your life in some profound way.

And sometimes things happen to you at the time that may seem horrible, painful, and unfair, but in reflection of you realize that without overcoming those obstacles you would never would realize your potential, strength, will power, or heart.

Everything happens for a reason. Nothing happens by chance or by means of luck. Illness, love, and lost moments of true greatness and sheer stupidity all acure to test limits of your soul. Without these small tests, life would be like a smoothly paved, straight, flat road to know where safe and comfortable but dull and utterly pointless.

The people you meet affect your life. The successes and the downfalls that you experience can create who you are and the bad experiences can be learned from. In fact they are probably the most poignant and important ones. If someone hurts you, betrays you, or breaks your heart, forgive them because they have helped you learn about trust and the importance of being cautious to whom you open your heart to.

If someone loves you, love them back unconditionally, not only because they love you, but also because they are teaching you to love and open your heart and eyes to little things. Make everything count. Appreciate everything you possibly can, for you may never experience it again.

Talk to people whom you have never talked to before and actually listen. Let yourself fall in love, break free, and set your sights high. Hold your head up because you have every right to. Tell yourself you're a great individual and believe in yourself, no on else will believe in you. Create your own life and then go out and live it.

The meeting

With gold you adorn me
Stones block the rays of the sun
My clothes gleam the money you have spent to make me beautiful
Devotees throng at my doorstep
Wait for hours for a glimpse of my shadow
They hope that miracles stick with them
Joys come to them
Money flow from all directions
To whose side I sway
I am pulled by the wealthy and the poor
The one legged man with tears in his eyes for mercy
The woman with cancer who is dying
The rich man who bribes me with wealth
I am just a statue
I am not divine
I lay not in the stones
I reside in the ever confusing riddles of the conscious mind

Following someone's footsteps

I cannot accept that I have failed again.I have lost many times before and this is nothing new.Why does my mind try to distort reality when someone tells me that I lost...I know that failure is one of the greatest teachers in our lives..That it is one of the biggest rejuvenate that nature has invented...

When I slip let me not hold on so tight
That I let hope pass by
humiliation when accepted becomes a black rose
It dries and when touched burns into dust
Why does darkness blind me
Who judges me as I lay breathless
Am I the only crazy one in this sane world
Or the sane one in this crazy world

The untimely fall

Do I need to write down every single occurence of my life
Fading memories have twisted the details of the blurry past
I dont remember roads or faces
I cant remember names or suprises
The joys and sorrows have no value now
I have changed and also changed the memories somehow
The trip down memory lane is a joke to me
I find myself behaving dumb and ignorant as I can be
I cannot see how people around me accepted me then
When I was so dependent and delicate within
A small shake to the boat of life
A small gust of wind scared me
The lens I look through keeps changing as days pass by
I can see the consciousness in my mind enlarge
My heart is getting too tired of love
Because I can see it everywhere in everyone's eyes.
I can't find reasons why I analyse everything in me
May be it is due to a head injury ..
when I entered the crazy world,
banged my head on the hospital wall
recovered from the bump but not from the fall...

So difficult...

It’s so difficult to realize that you are not what you look.
If you look good and people appreciate it..this does not give you prolonged happiness(at least for few hours)..just a high for a second...
The million commercials which they show which can enhance your life may be a lie.
The songs featuring handsome hunks and beautiful babes in reality make look fake with layers of make up ...
The camera makes reality ...Your place doesn’t exist ..You are an outsider..
Real India is not the shadow of Ekta Kapoor serials.
Most of India population stays in poverty ..They dont have desinger brands ..They don’t shop at malls...They don’t know that Mc Donald’s is a cancer that is spreading across the world.

These views come out as I try to understand India ...the real India..as I walk on the streets I try to get used to all the male chauvinistic behaviour, the stares, the comments of guys/men who can’t mind their own business. They scan me as if I am the last of the female species. They try to follow me so that they can scare me. They try to instill in me the fact that without a man you are nothing. A part of me is disgusted by what I have experienced in few days. I can't change it. I can't help it. Only thing I know is I don’t deserve this crap.As a self respecting woman I want fairness and justice. I want freedom..I want a India where I can atleast walk happily at 8PM and not get assualted/abused.I just feel sad for all the billion woman who live in villages or god forsaken places where I am sure cave men laws would work better than today’s laws which are run by brain dead men.

Divertions...

It is so difficult to quieten the mind.I am finding next to imposssible to dive deep into silence.Everywhere there are impulses which drive me into a confusion.Happiness,enlightment,peace...all the emotions come from within.But I have started observing lately that many of the emotions which come from me are not the product of the inner turmoil or serenity.It is induced by external factors.The music I listen to ,what I eat,what I watch all contribute to my mind set.I am not me .I am the product of millions of diversions targeted at me everyday.

May be that was one of the main reasons why saints in the ancient world used to isolate themselves.But even in isolation there are diversions.The natural calamities,hunger..all natural instincts used to divert them anyway.The possible solution for the slipping mind is oneness.It comes from awareness of our own diversions.Denial will never lead you to a path of inner wisdom.

My art...

I always wanted to be a painter.But as life would have its way..i am an electrical engineer.But I still thought I could make it..But creativity in me is dying..I dont know how...A slow death..Past few months I am not able to paint at all..After many months of desperation I was finally able to get my artistic ability to produce something worthwhile...It was all possible because of few online websites which gives people like me a chance to experiment ..or to prevent a part of creativity from dying..
Here is the link....


1.Love and only love

http://artpad.art.com/?j9evs9obgqs

2.Wild flowers..

http://artpad.art.com/?j9ewwltu6dc

3.White and orange bloom

http://artpad.art.com/?j9ex5f3ypt4

4.Wine and only wine

http://artpad.art.com/?j9exg2c7l00

Pavlov's experiment

This experiment was one of the important foundations in psychology.It desribed the unconditioned responses and deep impulses we have as living beings.I have myself found that in many instants we use these responses.I am not one of those people who studies psychology,but as a hobby I do read much of the interesting literature available.
Reflex action is one of the response which nature has given us to protect ourselves from danger.There is also the fight or flight phenomena which we use when we are in danger or high stress.But what I find is interesting is that many of the activities which we do on daily basis becomes a conditioned response.For example switching on the television once you enter the room.Hunger pangs as you return home .These responses are very difficult to be broken.I do suffer from short span of attention only when I watch television, but other times when I need prolonged concentration at work or for my school work(master's)I dont have any diversions.This find for myself is so scary because we cannot control our own moods or reactions for many situations if we dont analyse who we are regularly.

Dont carry it forward...

This post is partially inspired by the post I read on Libran Lover blog.
http://libranlover.blogspot.com/

We live our lives sometimes stuck in the memories of the past.We tend to think every single person is the same.Each time someone wrongs us ,takes us for a ride we tend to imagine that others will do the same.History may repeat itself..Only if we dont learn from our mistakes.The next person who comes along after the bad stuff is the target of our hatred sometimes.They shower us their love and affection but the only thing we give them back is painful memories.This cruelity is sometimes actually a protective sheild so that we dont get too close to the person.To me personally ,it takes for ever to wipe out the anger and hatred .It stagnates in my heart and makes me turn sometimes into a monster.But after self examination and tons of sorry's I have distributed to my friends I have realised that we need to let go of perfection from our parts .We make mistakes and that is human .We tend to meet wrong people and still make them enter our closed spaces.But we learn ..We judge ..We surrender and hope that love will cancel the hate.That the enemy who destroyed us will suffer the pangs of hate they created in us.We forgive and we never carry it forward.Find a good day and bury all the memories in the soil so that nature can work its wonders and make life spring out of it!!!

First step.....

The first step is the hardest ..
It takes a alignment of who you are and what you really want to achieve.
Once you get into the flow of doing it..everything becomes easy..
A month passes away and it becomes a habit ...
Years pass away and it becomes a trait..
The first step is the hardest.

Relationship's

I read this article online(few months back) and I thought it was pretty interesting.I dont exactly know from which site I got this article.But I thank the author for such a beautiful expression of our worlds.

I think people in relationship with us will always be compelled to show us to ourselves. I have seen many people change mates only to see the same problems appear in the new ones.If your romantic relationship situation improves, it's a sure sign that you have changed something within yourself for the better.

Our worlds are our concepts of self and life made visible. We want someone to lean on, to entertain us, to make our lives exciting. We don't want to take the responsibility of doing it for ourselves. This short circuits our sovereignty and will end in disappointment.When we work on becoming a self sufficient, self entertaining, self exciting human being, we begin to attract mates of a higher caliber in the food chain of life.

When we sit and wait for someone else to bring us this magnificent package of compatibility we don't realize that they are the delivery man carrying a giant mirror. These others in our lives are made of reflective glass not flesh and blood.
Don't accept the appearance for the reality. The senses deliver a hopelessly skewed version of reality and can't be trusted.

Marriage has utterly failed as an institution because it arranges unions of convenience and convention. The true purpose of union is to be mutually clear and accurate reflectors of each other to facilitate self understanding, to be able to see what you are throwing out there. The contents of our consciousness is much too near to see and understand until we project and dramatize it onto the screen of space and time, into the multiplicity of relationship for our viewing pleasure.

When the other persons behavior is bothersome it should throw up a flag for self examination for the source of the displeasure. We are at the creative center of our own realities laboring under the illusion of separation. All we see is an extrusion of our self laid out into the world around us. The very purpose of the illusion of relationship, or the myth of otherness, is to enable the understanding and definition of ourselves.

Popular song and culture has us thinking that we are nothing without some mystical "other half" that will complete us. Wake up and shake yourself, you are dreaming. If you want sanity, compatibility and joy in a relationship then get your own house in order. These elements have to be arranged first within your own consciousness, then all who are in relationship will under compulsion, reflect these back to us.

Chuck (zorch@ix.netcom.com)

No second chances...

In the commandments this is what is written..
You can break against the law...but the law never breaks...

So many times I see people trying to organise their lives by getting a number of succesful achievements under their belt.But I believe that the foundation is the most important thing.Any success is hollow if it is done by using the wrong way.You can never have a honest dealing with yourself ,if you cheat someone else.Life is a circle ..that was one of the quotations used by my friend.According to him you keep zero-ing on the same situation again and again till you get it right.

You keep feeling guilty for all the people you wronged.You need to pay a price for all the mistakes you made.Everything is put up on scales for judgement.

This is where the difficult part comes in.Life does not give you so many chances.The determination and influence of your mind in carving out your life is important.When you dont acheieve this ...life stagnates.Your happiness becomes a distant dream.

faltering steps...

I find everyone around me talking about stability in their lives and careers .According to them it is the unseen safe future where nothing becomes an obstacle for human existence.Everything is a smooth walk towards the ever so happy gleaming future.Our existence, now this moment is a fanatic preparation for the glorious future.What if our lives end as this very single moment.This single moment becomes the end of our preparation.I have always lived a goal oriented life .My goals were defined by the materialistic needs of my future.

The new definition of a goal which I discovered "is that it is not a specific destination but a way of life."

I have realised the power of the unknown.
I dont want to ruin this perfect moment thinking about all the unknown difficulties of the future.
I dont want to take life seriously .
I want to slip into the unknown.
I dont want to plan ahead my whole life.
I dont want that life should turn out exactly as my silly mind think's at this very moment.


The catch with this kind of philosophy is that there are no second guess's as there are no far and wide plans.

Then as any orgainsed person would !!! interrupt my logic...
How do you achieve something when you dont plan ahead?

Deep within our hearts there lies a hidden glow .This symbolic light is the light of knowledge.It is the purpose with which we have been born in this crazy mixed up world.But it is very difficult for us to find the destination because continously we control ourselves and dont give a small opening for the uncertainity to peak in.Many times life itself pushes this uncertainity by giving us miseries and life changing obstacles.As we suffer under the torture of the circumstance,we learn to surrender.We learn to just flow with life rather than make our own plans.Then the goals(as previously defined)continously change and are made by our own choice.Can this goal change our destination and turn the eternal cycle upside down...

Yes!!!we torment ourselves and we imprison ourselves...We hold on to so much when our palms are so small..

Let us not blame the ever changing tides for our misfortune ..
Let us not take our wrath on mother nature
Let us not search for happiness through the world
When it can be found in the hidden depths of our hearts.

Critical remarks...

If knives can scare you and drain out your blood ...
you have to hide yourself
from the cruel insults of the humans
It tears your heart and leaves deep scars
No amount of love can heal the wounds
Why does the cruel mind destroy
every single joy
Why does human indulge in nasty lies.
If truth were that what you think
Its lies only ...If you can judge...
The ever changing seasons welcomes the soul
Which can hide the anger and only give hope...


THE WEAK CAN NEVER FORGIVE. FORGIVENESS IS THE ATTRIBUTE OF THE STRONG

My prayer for today..

(1) I will practice Acceptance. Today I will accept people, situations, circumstances, and events as they occur. I will know that this moment is as it should be, because the whole universe is as it should be. I will not struggle against the whole universe by struggling against this moment. My acceptance is total and complete. I accept things as they are this moment, not as I wish they were.

(2) Having accepted things as they are, I will take Responsibility for my situation and for all those events I see as problems. I know that taking responsibility means not blaming anyone or anything for my situation (and this includes myself). I also know that every problem is an opportunity in disguise, and this alertness to opportunities allows me to take this moment and transform it into a greater benefit.

(3) Today my awareness will remain established in Defenselessness. I will relinquish the need to defend my point of view. I will feel no need to convince or persuade others to accept my point of view. I will remain open to all points of view and not be rigidly attached to any one of them.

Text taken from the book:The seven spiritual laws of success-Deepak Chopra

Musafir...

Wahan kaun hai tera ..
Musafir ...
Tu jayega kahan??
Dum le..lee gadi bar
Wahan kaun hai tera
Musafir ..
Tu jayega kahan??
Beeth gaye din ...
Pyaar ke panchi..
Sapna bani woh raatein
Bhool gaye woh ..
Tu bhi bulade..
Pyaar ki woh mulaketan
Sab duri aur andhera
Musafir ...
Tu jayega kahan?
Dum le lee.. gadi bar ..
Tu jayenga kahan..
Wahan kaun hai tera …………
Koi bhi teri raha na dekhae
Nayan bichai na koi
Dard se tera koi na tadpa
Aankh kiski na roi
Aankh kiski na roi
Kahin kisko tu mera
Kahin kisko tu mera
Musafir tu jayenga kahan??
Dum le lee gadi bar
Yeah chaya tu paayee ga kahan
OOOOOOOOOOOO Musafir.....
Tu jayega kahan??
Kahte hain gyani
Duniya hain pani
Pani pe likhi likhai
Hey sab ki dekhi
Hey sab ki jaani
Haath kisiki na aayee
Haath kisiki na aayee
Kuch tera na mera
Musafir.....
Tu jayega kahan
Dum le lee gadi bar
Tu jayega kahan???
Tu jayega kahan???
Wahan kaun hai tera....

This is one of my all time favourite songs.It is song sung by S.D.Burman.It is the title song in the movie Guide..The one thing I like about this song is the wisdom hidden in the song.

Conformity

I have been reading how an Integrated Circuit(IC) is developed.Its part of my course work in my masters.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Integrated_circuit
A wafer which is the starting product of the IC is made into 1000's of IC's.It can be made into thousands of IC's.There is a process of repetition of the same principles again and again for all the IC's.This is a very technique used by nature to create every single existing element in our universe.Our world is a reproduction of a single idea done again and again...I sometimes wonder what is the use of multiplicity.But our eyes lie to us...Every single thing is unique and has got its unique features.A grain of sand has got its own individual smoothness and dislocations.We are caught in a never ending cycle of unique reproductions.This theory an be used to explain all kinds of theories starting from survival of the fittest to the explanation of ever expanding finite universe.
What is the eternal question is whether it would ever stop?
Mutations occur once in a while but problems like over population and scarity of food continue to effect our world.What are the possible solutions for such problems???
If global warming is occuring in Antartica then it should also effect the consciousness of the other part o fthe world.Selfishness should dissolve into global consciousness.

Love Love Love

To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

Woody Allen.

Suffering is one of the ways through which lessons are taught to us.Initially when I was a kid I used to think happiness and suffering work in cycles.If you had suffering in the initial years then later your life should be full of happiness and nothing else.But I have learnt to look at life in a very different perspective.Happiness is a state of mind and we control it.Life never gives us a option.We have the choice in our hands.Suffering and misery are few key things which help us break open the illusory obstacles.As we suffer there is a channel formed between the real self as the illusions are broken.There is a direct connection with the higher consciousness which expand our tiny lives to include the whole world.Sometimes I think if I never had bad experiences and miseries in my life I would never have learnt so much in my life.Nature makes us suffer ....thats what is the biggest illusion.We suffer most of the time because of ourselves.Our reactions to the lows of life is what gives birth to suffering.

Few ways which I have dealt with suffering:

Every fall you have has a lesson to be learnt.
Never get tired of learning.
Simplify..simplify ..simplify..Never let the small things which dont mean a lot effect you..bits of paper included..sorry money!!!!
Try to see the bigger picture.
Try to use wisdom and intution rather than status,degrees and money.
Dont expect a lot...
What ever you do ..have the principles/laws of living govern your life.
Any small job which you have to do ..do with all you have got..Whatever you give is what comes back to you in return..
and finally...
Be strong...Nothing in the world can break the inner soul..May be circumstances can
effect you physically and emotionally but nothing can break into the inner sanctum which you have created...