The path to God

Initially when religion was introduced to me as a kid,it was more like an business deal.I say some Sloka/mantra, for a particular number of times and my desires could be fulfilled.I followed it faithfully for a large part of my life.I was always afraid of some bad deals from God if I messed up any part of the mantra.As a kid I have prayed sometimes whole nights so that I would be in the good books of the Gods.I targeted few Gods and by-hearted few easy and powerful mantras and was a contended customer.At the same time when I was going through the devotional phase I used to be moved by the plight of beggars at the temple doorstep.To me entering a temple was like entering a court of justice.I calculated the bribes I wanted to offer God and decided what I would receive in return.But as I was reaching the age of 15 I started questioning the motives which lay behind my devotion.My faith on God was as long as God could fulfill the desires I had.This over dependence on God was always there.Even though I used to be interested in Buddhism and read other religious theories..my dependence was like a addiction.I ran towards it every time I had a problem.The time was getting ripe for me to leave all these transactions.So when out of sheer accident,I visited a temple, when I was 18 ...I pleaded God to pass me in one of the exams.I decided that if that would happen I would chant something umpteen number of times.I passed that exam but I never chanted.My relationship with this Godfather kind of God started getting sour.I could not deny the fact that God was not helping the billions who were suffering.Slowly I started to discover a new kind of God.This God never asked for holy chants or bribes.Never wanted me to visit "expensive " temples.This God only helped me see myself the way I am.

Spiritual Stages

Taken from the site
http://www.spiritualresearchfoundation.org/spiritualresearch/spiritualscience/spirituallevel_saints/images/Spiritual-Level-March06.gif
courtesy:Venkat

Acceptance!!!!

I think I have written a lot about how we should accept ourselves and our circumstances.But there is a huge other side to acceptance..Non acceptance is as important as acceptance.When we accept wrong versions of what we are through the perceptions of others...we are doomed!!!
But there is no way that we can escape these wrong notions.Every second we have some image hitting us through our minds.The only way through,is losing the way.Once we have constantly struggled through all the wrong ways...our soul would have suffered enough.There will be no more struggle.We just let it go and go on a path which is of least resistance.

Obstacles in Relationship..

Many people try not to get attached and live in a kind of shell surrounded by the ocean of people.This policy of trying to forcibly be away from people is not healthy.Its not detachment in any sense.Fear of attachment is not detachment ..it is cowardice.If fear of any kind exists then we are again attached to fear itself.So its not the people we meet we get attached too.It is only deep seated fear of pain.Pain and pleasure are the same thing.Just a momentary sharp emotion which can give rise to different sensations in the body.The pain/pleasure occurs in the mind first and then the body responds to it.If we get hurt because we are attached we start crying.The body follows the mind.But the mind is fickle and if shown something more pleasurable we run again behind that forgetting the pain.True detachment does not mean we ignore the person or try not to maintain any relationship...Being truly detached means we treat every person in the same way ...everyone becomes special.Detachment is also a process ...When every living being is given the same amount of respect as our beloved then we have become truly detached.
Practically is it possible to live without getting worried about the other person?
I feel that most of the time when we take care of the mental processes of our own mind ..everything just falls into place...Every problem in a relationship is again a reflection of problem within us.Cultivation of Aloneness is the best solution to most of the problems in our relationships.

Spiritual land

Most of my own spiritual pursuits was to run away from the present situation.There is nothing more contradictory to my life than this feeling that I belong somewhere else.The events which have never happened to me look so wonderful.The places which I have never visited look so beautiful.The people who I have never met look amazing.This feeling to never accept anything is again a desire ...this desire should also be accepted.I feel this feeling is born when the mind gets a voice.Always there is some hidden treasure ...always there is a chase...
This other probable world with perfect people,amazing beauty,non polluted and with equal rights does not exist.Claims that this promised land exists has made billions of people believers in everything.But to reach a point where this realization sinks in takes lot of effort.Once we travel through the wheel of life we find out how everything...how every relationship is fake..Once these boundaries are broken we dont long for spiritual lands or spiritual people.

Person-Personality

Every incident in our life brings out a different personality.There is no constant personality within us.Its just the projection of our thoughts which we feel defined to a particular personality.Once we forget identifying ourselves with some basic structure,we free ourselves from lot of emotional burden.We train our minds to look at ourselves in a certain way.We get hurt when our own image gets proven wrong by others projections.But the other's projections are also are own projections.Knowledge even when got from others is again our knowledge..as we use our limited minds to understand the situations.

Getting Lost

There are always instants when life becomes so busy that we forget what we should really do.On my recent trip to New York I have come to realize what anxiety means.Starting from the grieving faces in the subways,angry hip-hopper and to the late professionals who are rushing towards a never ending deadline.Anxiety is not what we are really missing but the feeling that we are going to miss something.

Reflection of passion

I wrote this while listening to yanni "Reflections of passion"
Passion exists for a minute.. we make it a memory and hold it on for ever...


As the gush of air plays with your hair
As you dance in joy at the brilliance of silence
The inward jot of finding someone new
The dawning of a new era
New dreams like tiny waves of a mighty ocean form
The spirits rose so high that all divisions look invisible
Plans were chalked out to make life ,more pleasurable
These things happen so fast and you feel insecure,you weep with joy
The impermanence of nature starts following you
Everything which was exicting gets you into a rut
Then suddenly everything breaks
All that is left are the reflections of our passion

Can Men and Women Be Friends?

I was having a debate with one of my friends(guy)as to the possibility of friendship between men and women.

From my perspective it is possible for men and women to be friends.If I was interested in a guy in any other way I wont pretend to be friends with him in the first place.To me being honest with myself is very important.All the books/spiritual techniques ...everything goes down the drain when we ourselves have no idea of defining what a relationship is and what are the limitations we place upon them.Personally I feel I have the necessary discipline to remain with my own ideals/beliefs.But the possibility of the other person not being so inclined and having other agendas besides friendship always exits.But then again whenever I have had a platonic friendship I have made it clear to the guy that I just want to be Friends.I have no intention to increase the bounds of the friendship.

I remember a small instance from the life of the philosopher UG Krishnanmurti(paraphrased)

There was once a woman who had entered the room and sat in front of UG.She was staring at him and had different interests other than philosophy.There was no exchange of words between UG and the lady.When she was leaving UG just told her the following words
"I know you are attracted to me ..but let me guarantee you,that nothing is going to happen.You are wasting your time,I have enough discipline in me which is enough for both of us.

That is the attitude which actually can foster a successful friendship between men and women.As a person we need to have discipline and clear set goals.If that is not possible then the friendship should not be continued.The problem in a friendship between men and women is not lust but dishonesty and absence of integrity.

A good article from pyschology today
http://psychologytoday.com/articles/pto-20010901-000031.html